Duuude!!!!

Its 7:15 in the morning and im on a tram shuffling into the city for a day of errands, appointments and other fun stuff. The chick in front of me in the line for the ticket machine is paying for her whole fare in 5 & 10 cent pieces, yet she hasn’t grasped the fact that you can hold more than one coin in your hand at a time, and is going back and forth from her purse, coin by coin, minute by minute.

Normally this type of behavior would result in a psychotic lapse on my behalf, which would end with me pummeling her and her gay gucci glasses (designer gear and she’s paying for public transport with shrapnel) into the ticket dispenser before stealing her shoes for my missus and throwing her into the oncoming traffic, but today im in a good mood.

See, it’s only ten days before my fiance and I fly off for 5 months of food, beer & relaxation in her homeland of Colombia, so nothing can phase me, especially not some broke Lindsay Lohan try-hard fucking with my valuable time and FUCKING PATIENCE!!!

Hmmmm……

Anyway, in a matter of days my beloved and I will be hightailing it out of this stink-hole, well, Melbourne anyway, which doesn’t really stink and is far from being a hole, and actually has heaps of good restaurants and bars and shit and is really sweet in summer and spring but FUCK….Im over it, and over working and housemates and the fucking spine crushing drudgery of shitty jobs and CAN’T WAIT to get out of here and see some more of this beautiful, yet largely fucked, planet we live on.

My fiance, who is 100% Bogotano, has been studying & working here for the past 3 1/2 years. We met at a bar almost  3 years ago when she smashed a pint of vodka over my head and stole my wallet and mobile phone. A friend suggested I call the phone to see if anyone answered, so i did. On the other end of the line was the woman with whom i am now prepared to hand my testicles over too, wrapped what little cash i have and the tatters of my dignity.

But seriously, she’s a great girl, and the beatings she gives are becoming less and less frequent. She and I have both been working our arses off for the past year trying to scrounge up enough cash to keep us afloat for 5 months, plus pay for the wedding AND have a bit of cash left over so we wont be completely destitute and eating out of skips when we get back.

We have both been working two jobs apiece for most of this year and before that were working plus studying full time for a couple of years, so the recent realisation that we are gonna have a whole five months off with no real responsibility besides sightseeing, eating and getting fucked up (oh yeah, and planning the wedding, which we’re having in Colombia)has led to a sudden rush of uncontrollable excitement & anticipation, which is making all the loose ends we need to tie up seem like a sea of pawns we have to eradicate before we can capture the Queen and bang her brains out.

So, right now I’m just going to tolerate the moron in front of me and continue unscathed along to my duties and scratch them off the list as i count down the days until take off. Also, im going to keep rambling into this thing, so my friends & family (suckers) can live vicariously through my actions, much in the same way as they have been for sometime now, because i am such a huge fucking legend.

Bon appetit, dicks!!!

Tags: colombia, melbourne, Travel

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 7th, 2010 at 8:01 am and is filed under Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.