Bond James Bond…nope just Bogotá
Tuesday, December 9th, 2008
So the reality sunk in as I walked up to the Avianca counter in Miami International and realized until i flashed a perplexed look I was not going to hear English. There was a moment of panic but I decided to just smile and force my way on the plane. However, there was a fantastic moment of joy when i realized i was on flight 007! That’s right the international man of mystery was to be my guiding light. Please oh please let Pussy Galore welcome me onto the plane.
The Bond theme perpetuated as I stood in disbelief at how amazingly hot Colombian women are. They have a swagger and a style that American women just do not have (sorry friends) and i was damning myself for packing the sunglasses away b/c i wanted to stare with impunity. They carried themselves like Bond girls would…WWBD (What Would Bond Do) is now my new motto.
One thing that did strike me was the armfuls of consumer goods that the Colombians were carrying on the plane…Flat Screens, massage chairs, brand spanking new luggage filled with new clothing…just an interesting side note.
OK back to the Bond theme, as i was strolling on the plane there were 4 HUGE men in uniforms with guns and batons…umm what the fuck? So as I walked past them–glad i had no contraband–I read their badges that said something to the effect of “The Department of Extradition.” I quickly quipped “what drug lord is flying with us?” to which the glance of I can break you in half with this pinky finger sent me quickly and dutifully onto the plane. I still could not get out of the Bond mode as i was strolling onto the nicest plane I have ever been on and was dumbstruck by how beautiful the stewardesses were…is this the 60’s? I mean the women are exploited for their looks and they are still proud of their jobs! The service was amazing, I was handed a warm moist wipe before my outstanding steak dinner and wondered this is how James must have done it.
After I landed in Bogotá full paranoia came back as i had to get a taxi convert dollars to pesos but it all worked out in the end and i am now getting drunk and ending this blog
Money Penney another shot of aguardiente
Chirp Chirp
dirtcricket
