The Dirt Cricket Abides

Well Thursday picked up after I finished my last journal entry. I was waiting around and drinking too much coffee and finally Greg & Christy show up at my hostel to join me for the next 3.5 weeks of my travels. What a nice pleasure it was to see them as it had been since August since we last hung out. I marveled at how my Irish friend and his girl were many shades darker than I and they were surprised at how long my mop has gotten. Yes folks the nappy dreads of the dirt cricket are impressive these days. The mullet definitely has grown and i no longer have to worry about sunburns on the nape of my neck.

Anyhow, after the Mcwangster (Greg & Christy) showed up I introduced them around the hostel and we quickly jumped to some sightseeing I wanted to get done before leaving Bogotá. So we ventured out to the Police Museum to see how Pablo Escobar had finally been defeated. I was having a blast of a time as we were looking at the Nickel Plated 9mm handguns, gold encrusted Harleys and other ridiculous displays of wealth that had been confiscated from the Cartels. As the tour progressed all of a sudden I see Christy slumping over and passing out. Greg and I had to gently bring her down to the ground and bring her back by slapping her on the face. This happened twice and was actually pretty dramatic as the Police in their dramatic looking military uniforms were all hovering around us. I knew in the back of my mind the altitude was getting to Christy but still the thoughts of an ER room in Colombia was pretty low on my list of good ideas. Fast forward and we have put her to bed and Greg and I decide drinking is a good idea.

After downing a few beers we decided to start wandering around taking in the night life. It was a true oddity as
there were 4 Americans together (Greg, myself, & 2 others we picked up before going out) wandering around La Candelaria and mixing it up with the locals. Loads of fun and some of the best damn street food and we then wandered back to the hostel.

We then left the next morning with our new friend Bridgette for the bus ride from hell! So to all of you people who keep telling me how lazy i have been with the blog keep in mind that i spent 21 hours on a bus with one stop. Oh yeah it had no air conditioning and the people all around me were snoring away. So excuse me if this hellish image i cannot possibly paint left me a little unmotivated to log on yesterday. The only thing in my mind was the beach and a fruity drink with Rum. Mission Accomplished!!!! That has dual meaning as my first intent of the trip was to hustle up to the Caribbean Coast and spend time turning my skin a very nice shade of brown. In fact my friends I am siging off now and walking down to the beach to crisp my flesh. Enjoy this picture as it is the view from my room: (that little cove down there is a beach surrounded by mountains and just an amazing Afro-Colombian culture…I’ll write more about this later)

Chirp Chrip going to sizzle my flesh

Thus far Colombia has been quite a pleasant surprise. Friendly people, relatively safe, and just simply a beautiful city to wander around. As i figure out the best way to offload my good photos (ones form the SLR) I will show why this breathtaking Colonial city should be on everyone’s list to visit.

The cost of living is quite fabulous…an average breakfast eggs & rice with a fresh glass of OJ seems to run about $1.35 US and a shockingly good dinner of Thai Curry with a beer was a hair under $4 US. The best part is that my fellow travelers are groaning about how expensive Bogotá is????
As I become more accustomed to local prices I am sure this feeling will be existent for me as well. So far each evening has wound up being lots of drinks, heavy political discussions, and future talk of where to go and where not to go. I have to remark that it is remarkably easy to meet people and make your friends for the day. Some will certainly stick and others will fade and be a part of the photo album.

So far I have visited the Gold museum and the Military museum and found them both appealing. The gold museum in particular was quite impressive and the presentation was truly world class. My only critique would be that it was overwhelming t try and see it all.

The one little touristy thing that blew me away was taking a Gondola to the top of Monte Serrate. This is an old monastery overlooking the city of Bogotá from about 1500 feet above. Just amazing is all i have to say but breathtaking because the altitude had to be over 10,000 feet and i think it was closer to 11,000.

My new friends form Seattle & Buenos Aires & I checked out an artisans market on the outskirts of the city. I had been hoping for gritty street market and instead we got super high end wealthy Colombian market with outrageously expensive prices (think only half SF standards). The craftsmanship was stunning and if i ever decide i want to furnish or clothe myself with modern Colombian chic it’s the place to go…

I’m shaking from the rocket fuel (the coffee here) and waiting for Greg and Christy to show up here…I’m marginally concerned b/c I expected them over an hour ago but I amm sure it will all work out.

Chirp Chirp

So the reality sunk in as I walked up to the Avianca counter in Miami International and realized until i flashed a perplexed look I was not going to hear English. There was a moment of panic but I decided to just smile and force my way on the plane. However, there was a fantastic moment of joy when i realized i was on flight 007! That’s right the international man of mystery was to be my guiding light. Please oh please let Pussy Galore welcome me onto the plane.

The Bond theme perpetuated as I stood in disbelief at how amazingly hot Colombian women are. They have a swagger and a style that American women just do not have (sorry friends) and i was damning myself for packing the sunglasses away b/c i wanted to stare with impunity. They carried themselves like Bond girls would…WWBD (What Would Bond Do) is now my new motto.

One thing that did strike me was the armfuls of consumer goods that the Colombians were carrying on the plane…Flat Screens, massage chairs, brand spanking new luggage filled with new clothing…just an interesting side note.

OK back to the Bond theme, as i was strolling on the plane there were 4 HUGE men in uniforms with guns and batons…umm what the fuck? So as I walked past them–glad i had no contraband–I read their badges that said something to the effect of “The Department of Extradition.” I quickly quipped “what drug lord is flying with us?” to which the glance of I can break you in half with this pinky finger sent me quickly and dutifully onto the plane. I still could not get out of the Bond mode as i was strolling onto the nicest plane I have ever been on and was dumbstruck by how beautiful the stewardesses were…is this the 60’s? I mean the women are exploited for their looks and they are still proud of their jobs! The service was amazing, I was handed a warm moist wipe before my outstanding steak dinner and wondered this is how James must have done it.

After I landed in Bogotá full paranoia came back as i had to get a taxi convert dollars to pesos but it all worked out in the end and i am now getting drunk and ending this blog

Money Penney another shot of aguardiente

Chirp Chirp

I had a few extra days here at home and my mother and I were about to get into WWF Smackdown 2008, so I had to run away for a few days.  I made it to NYC only to put my tail right back between my legs and run even faster out of that town.  Holy Shit how much do I hate $8 beers, $15 appetizers, and a hangover each and every day.  I was thrilled to see a bunch of my friends, but i also realized how I am vehemently opposed to needless expenditures of money.  Also why does every person wear black in that town?  Who Died?

I did hit up the two oldest pubs in NY: McSorley’s and Old Town Bar both of which are my kind of place.  McSorely’s is extra special because there are only two options, light or dark beer.  No Mojitos, no Cosmopolitans, vodka sodas with a twist or even a simple rum and coke…light or dark beer.  The food menu is even better: Cheese and Crackers.  What are cheese and crackers…simple, a sleeve of saltines, about 20 pieces of pepper jack cheese and the fucking hottest Horseradish mustard ever.  Well my friend Brian and I both played the “who can eat 5 saltines in one minute” game.  It cannot be done.  It should be on the list of games for people you don’t like with the Spoonful of Cinnamon and the Gallon of Milk challenges.

Shit I leave Monday morning for Colombia and I am now officially uneasy, terrified, full of self doubt, excited and stoked.

Chirp Chirp

More Tequila Please

When you have parents like mine–one or both Latin–holidays always seem to have some unique flavor…and rarely can be defined as average or typically American (something I have grown to love.)

Every minute of my holiday this year was a little different than Norman Rockwell’s image.  Turkey with stuffing is nice, but so amazingly blase; instead due to our fabulous Mexican hosts we had a chocolate chicken mole so good it can make you doubt religion, pinto bean casserole, spicy nopolitos salad (cactus), and a whole shit ton of tequila & red wine.  Let’s just say my family woke up with queasy stomachs and headaches.  Personally I love the fact that we had multiple nationalities attending, and all were more focused on shots of liquor than who won the day’s football games.  My father will forever resent the chiding of our friend Moises yelling “Chucky Boy” to goad him into shot after shot of Don Julio Anejo.

Parents & Bro-Inlaw

Dinner & Drinking

Chirp Chirp the cricket is fat, drunk and happy

Happy Thanksgiving

View From my apartment in SF(a little pre-note to my writings…this is to be FRED’S journal, and I only happen to be sharing it with my friends. Over the course of the next 12-24 months if my pontifications, self promoting dribble, and mundane accounts of daily activities become annoying and/or boring to you fuck off and stop reading. This is for me to relive over and over what I hope to be one of the better periods of my life; this has not been created for your enjoyment, only for my own! )

The whirlwind of activity and emotions as I prepared to leave SF were more overwhelming than anticipated. I never thought I would actually be so incredibly sad to leave what has been my home for the past 9 years. It was even more surprising as this is the same city who’s cost of living feels like an anchor holding the specter of personal progress at arms length. In the end it’s the people…the people with whom I am close, and the crazy kooks who roam the city just outside my front door. All this was made evident to me as I feel a marginal and growing disdain for the whitewashed and gentrified suburbs of the East Coast….the diversity of San Francisco is matched by only the monster of Manhattan and perhaps the “Latiness” of Miami. Maybe after my wanderings I’ll be ready to assimilate into the picket fence and 2.1 kids?

All the mushiness aside, I managed to find the dream tenants to sublet my apartment, got to see many of my friends before I left SF, missed out on others I did truly wish to see, and finally got the hell out of Dodge. Coordinating all the logistics were so much harder than I ever anticipated, and as always with a true procrastinator I was not packed and ready to go until 1:00 AM the morning of my departure.

I cannot help but feel as though the stars have aligned in favor of my trip. The following sequence of events has and will truly make for one of the best months in my entire life:

1) My Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series and became world fucking champions (well Canadian & US champs) and every time I watch Chase Utley drop the “eff bomb” on national TV I do actually tear up and smile. To all my friends who fancy themselves as the liberal academia type–those above the heathen activity of watching professional sports…too fucking bad, I’m a world champion!

2) Barack Obama’s election. I could not have handled another 8 yrs of bungling mismanagement and silly spending by a political party that has totally lost its way. I believe if the Republicans continued on with their shenanigans they would have sunk us as a nation deeper and deeper into the bowels of economic pain, and continual criticism by the rest of the world. Once upon a time we were one of the “moral authorities” of the globe. We promoted democracy (where it was wanted) and bailed out Europe from the grip of fascism & the Nazis. It sure would be nice to be seen as a friend by most of the world, and not seen as a self motivated nation hell bent on only protecting domestic economic interests no matter the consequences to others. I believe we are a country of well intentioned folks who have been mislead for too long of a time. (I promise there will be more on this to come, but do remember perception is reality and this is not someone who sings the Democrats tune no matter what. As a further aside–b/c i cannot help myself–was not the Republican Party once upon a time supposed to moderate spending and increase revenues?)

3) I quit my job. I had a great job that many would have loved, worked with smart and interesting people, but let us be real…work is called “work” and not “fun” for a very good reason.

4) I grabbed my balls, pounded on my chest and bought a one way ticket to Bogota, Colombia. Yeah every other person has told me to be careful because I will surely be kidnapped & ransomed, robbed, and basically violated in every way the US media makes us fear will happen. Hmmmmm, I do not believe it, and I frankly do not care what others think…after I am done wandering the globe and come back to the States, (maybe broke, maybe never) I may be ready to put the head down and work my ass of for a good living. But for now I will do may best to avoid any encounters with the FARC. More than anything it just feels great when people ask “What’s your plan?” to which I can retort “I don’t have one; all I have is a ticket to Colombia.”

5) In a few short weeks I will wake up in South America to not set foot on US Soil for a very long time.

There are sad parts of my travel that pull at my heart strings…I am going to miss the birth of more than a few of my friends’ children, a few weddings, and miss out on so much of the normal life we take for granted. No more deep powder days with my best friends for the next two seasons, or awesome backpacking trips…but then again everyone else seems to be growing up and moving on with my life and I am just not ready at this point, so here we are as I prep to leave for my adventure.

Oh yeah the amazingly cool cherry on the top of this amazing month, is that I found out my best friend in the word and his amazingly cool fiance are joining for the first month of my trip. You can see their blog here.

Chirp Chirp ,

The Dirt Cricket