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Sen Monorom – Football’s coming home

Tuesday, July 4th, 2006

When I realised I would be in Cambodia during the world cup, I have to admit that my heart sank a little bit.  I didn’t realise, before I came here, how bonkers most people are about football in South East Asia and, although Cambodia is not known for its footballing prowess, they still love it as much as anyone else in the sane world.  Now, due to my incompetence at staying awake I missed the England v Sweden match (very much hypocritical on my part when I think back to what a song and dance I made about watching the matches), and due to incompetence on the tv’s part I missed most of the England v Ecuador game.  So my determination to watch the quarter final match between England and Portugal was absolute.  Even though I was in Sen Monorom, a village so small and quiet there is no internet for miles and miles and miles, and only electricity for a few hours a day.  Still, I was in a place with both a tv and a generator; bring it on!

Apart from a group of French people (who had gone to bed early, planning to get up to watch their team beat Brazil, as it turned out), I was the only guest at the guesthouse.  Quite a contrast to the last few matches where I had watched it surrounded by a drunken mass of England fans.  Two of the guesthouse staff, Sambol and one other guy, stayed up to keep me company (they’d also both bet some money on the game – gambling is HUGE over here, and one guy in Kampot had $50 riding on England to beat Ecuador – considering the average wage, that’s a massive chunk).  And, God love them, they were both cheering for England.  I like to think it was on my behalf, but I reckon that at least some of it was money-driven.

There was a slight panic in the first few minutes when the signal was lost, yet again, and once more I was staring at the logo of the world cup, a cruel reminder of what I should have been watching.  Fortunately it came back after about 15 minutes or so. In enough time to see nil-nil at half time.

And the second half – well, I’m not going to talk you through minute-by-minute.  If you care enough, you’ll have watched it (or at least know what happened, in case you are in a remote corner of SE Asia, for example), and if you don’t care, well, you don’t care!  Still, it was not good.  I saw Beckham cry and go off in a sulk, saw Rooney stamp on Carvalho (and yet, according to the rest of the England squad, it was Ronaldo who was out of order for telling the ref).  Still, we held them to nil-nil after full time and extra time.  Which meant the inevitable penalties, as in three of the last four World Cup efforts.  And we all know how well that worked out.

There are some matches that you know you’ll remember forever (and, being a weary Evertonian and cynical England fan, more often it’s the losses rather than the wins).  The Germany game in Italia 90 is another example.  So yes, we lost and yes, we were completely unimpressive and mediocre.  But you know what?  That match, watching it in remote Cambodia with two foreigners supporting my side – that really is one to remember, and not just for the bad reasons.

Mondulkiri – Today’s the day the elephant has her picnic

Monday, July 3rd, 2006

I had my first ride in a pick-up on the way to Mondulkiri.  These are big 4×4 monster trucks (well, the ones that ply this route are anyway – any other vehicle just can’t cope with the shockingly bad roads), that get piled high with people and packages, and only leave when they are seriously, dangerously full.  You see about 20 people piled on top of the goods at the back, people on the roof – my word do they jam ’em in tight over here.  I wimped out and bought a seat inside the cabin, and I ended up with the swish front seat all to myself – a rare treat over here.  Although at times I wished I couldn’t see so clearly out of the windscreen – Cambodian roads take no prisoners.

Mondulkiri province is unlike anywhere else I’ve seen in Cambodia.  Usually the landscape here is quite flat, but Mondulkiri looks for all the world like Wales, say, or the Lake District – lots of rolling hills, greenery, and bucket loads of rain.  It rained pretty much non-stop from the time I got there to the time I left, so everything was sodden and damp.  Lovely.  Still, my enthusiasm couldn’t be dampened, because as soon as I got to the Long Vibol guest house, I booked an elephant trek for the next day.  I love these animals, and spending a whole day with one was my idea of bliss.

I was up early, excited, with the air of a person whose time has come.  The rain didn’t let up, so I gratefully nabbed yet another plastic poncho from the guesthouse (this time in lime green – I was une vision).  My guide from the guesthouse, the lovely Sambol, would accompany me all day, and he drove me there on the mud-slippy roads.  The treks start from a minority village.  The Pnong minority group are based in Mondulkiri, and make up the majority of its inhabitants.  It was fascinating to see how they live, and how different it is elsewhere.  Most Cambodian houses are built up on stilts – to save against the rain, I guess, and to provide a shady area underneath for protection against the sun – but these people live in low huts, with about 14 people in each hut.  Nor do they speak Khmer, but have their own language.

I was introduced to my elephant for the day, a lovely little lady called Rhum.  She was older than me at 35, and I hoped this would make her more responsible, and less likely to stampede.  I climbed up the steps, and, apologising to Rhum as I stepped on her neck (I’m not being cruel, it’s the only way to get on), clambered into the bamboo basket that had been strapped onto her back.  Sambol climbed in after me, and I began to realise just how snug it was up there in the basket.  No, actually, not snug, because that implies some element of comfort.  I believe the word I’m looking for is squeeze. 

Now, let me get this straight from the start.  I loved Rhum, she was a star.  But the ride was possibly the most uncomfortable experience of my entire life.  And this is from a girl who regularly throws herself of bikes, breaks toes on stone hearthstones, falls down stairs – you get the picture.  Imagine, if you will, being in a bamboo basket that any which way you move bangs into your body.  The basket is too small to sit properly, and so your legs are hunched up in an uncomfortable, not to mention unflattering, position.  That’s bad enough.  Throw in the movement of the elephant, and you’ve not exactly got a ride on the Orient Express.  The movement is so strange.  Sort of a figure of eight, but jerky, with side-to-side motions as well as up and down.  So there I was, thrown about like an oscillating ocelot, all the while trying to take in the whole experience, and remembering vaguely seeing pictures of Queen Victoria prancing about on the back of an elephant.  If she did – kudos to her, it ain’t a joy.

Bad enough on the flat, but, as I’d mentioned before, Mondulkiri is hilly.  And the slopes are very, very steep indeed.  So going down, you’re virtually vertical, pressing your feet against the front of the basket to stop yourself falling out, and going up, you’re hanging on to the front for dear life, all the time having the bamboo poke you in the back. 

Oh, and Rhum – likes the food.  Especially bamboo, but she isn’t all that fussy.  So every few steps, she’d stop and eat.  And stop and eat.  And stop and eat.  Often, while we were on a slope, so the agony of trying to keep in the basket was drawn out.  The world is Rhum’s picnic basket, and she was determined to make the most of it.  (Oh, and a word to the wise – if you’re ever near an elephant eating bamboo, don’t hang around at the back for too long – the noises that were coming from Rhum afterwards were none too pleasant)

I strangely enjoyed it, though.  Not too sure I’d do it again, but I might convince myself over time that it can’t possibly be as bad as I remember.  Despite the bruises, though, I’ve come away from it loving elephants even more than I did already – they’re gorgeous, peaceful animals who just happen to like the food.  Next time I might just stay on the ground.

Kratie – Flipper

Monday, July 3rd, 2006
I had the idea to head up to Mondulkiri, in the North East of Cambodia.  However, no buses go up that way, which tells you two things - firstly, not enough people go up there to justify a bus, and ... [Continue reading this entry]

Phnom Penh – Girly day

Monday, July 3rd, 2006
Back in Phnom Penh for the second time, it was a relief to say that they were doing something to the road by the lake.  What exactly is unclear - from what I could see, it involved placing medium-sized rocks ... [Continue reading this entry]

Kep – Trade-off

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
OK, so where was I?  Ah yes I remember - to quote myself (and frankly, who better to quote?): "In a few minutes I’m going to set off for Kep, about 12 miles further east along the coast, and then I’m ... [Continue reading this entry]

Kampot – City of Ghosts

Sunday, June 25th, 2006
The next morning meant time for Matt and I to say goodbye - I was carrying on east along the coast, and he was heading back to Phnom Penh to catch a flight. So it was farewell to my ... [Continue reading this entry]

Sihanoukville – I left my soul there, down by the sea

Saturday, June 24th, 2006
As the bus wound its way to the south coast and the promised land of white beaches, Matt and I exchanged nervous looks as the rain continued stoically. Trying to bolster our mood, I got manic at the first ... [Continue reading this entry]

Phnom Penh – Deluge

Saturday, June 24th, 2006
After my thought provoking sightseeing day in Phnom Penh, I was really glad to bump into Matt, from the boat to Battambang. We chatted over food (after the harrowing day, I was aching for comfort food, so you can ... [Continue reading this entry]

Battambang – Recipes

Saturday, June 24th, 2006
Here are a few recipes from my cooking class. I'd really urge you to try them, they were veh, veh easy and scrumptious at the same time. If you are observant you will notice that the first recipe, ... [Continue reading this entry]

Phnom Penh – Man’s Inhumanity To Man

Saturday, June 24th, 2006

Man's inhumanity to man
Makes countless thousands mourn!

This Robert Burns quote became a resounding echo in my mind on my first full day in Phnom Penh. I'd arrived the afternoon before, and got a highly bargainous (and thankfully bug-free) ... [Continue reading this entry]