Phnom Penh – Legends
Going along for my cheap, quiet dinner at the Lazy Gecko, I was thinking about night life here in PP. I’ve had some great nights at Moskito bar courtesy of Eddie and the now-legendary Long Vodkas, but I haven’t seen any of the other in/famous spots that are known throughout Asia. In particular, I was intrigued by the Heart of Darkness bar. It promised working girls, drunk locals, and a little bit of edge that sounded great. Still, it wasn’t the kind of place I’d go to alone, so, chances were, I wouldn’t get a chance to go.
What are the odds, then, of when I sat down, a couple of Canadian guys at the next table leaned over, asked me if I’d been to “the Heart” (as locals call it); it turns out they hadn’t either, and were contemplating going that night – they very kindly invited me along. We chatted some more over dinner and drinks, and soon they had me spitting my drink over the table with laughter. They’re a couple of brothers, Jamie (snr) and Jason (you guessed it… jr), and have that kind of sense of humour that bounces off each other. Brilliant guys.
We got a tuk tuk along to the HoD, and were immediately impressed when we were frisked on the way in. That tells you something about the place, eh? At 10pm, we were waaay, waaay too early but, undeterred, plonked down at the bar anyway and settled in to a few of the incredibly strong drinks that they serve there. The boys also very kindly introduced me to shots of Jagermeister, after which the night became something of a blur. From chatting with them, and from reconstructions from the photo, I can report the following:
– I spoke a lot of French to a guy from DR Congo, who was either called Tony or Mohammed or possibly both
– I got a marriage proposal from aforementioned Tony/Mohammed. I think I said I would think about it.
– Jason added a shot of JD to his already paint-strippingly strong rum and coke. Afterwards he described it as basically coke-coloured rum and whiskey.
– Before 11pm, a girl was carried out by the bouncers, out cold.
– I got two come-ons by hookers.
– Jamie had his hat stolen more times than he remembers by a hooker. A sitting duck, wearing a hat to a place like that.
– We danced a lot.
– We jumped around a lot, and had our own mini mosh pit.
– We took photos in kung-fu poses.
– Apparently, judging by photos, I had a wad of dollar bills in my hand for a lot of the night, like I was at a strip club.
– We had lots of fun, until Jamie got threatened. I think the exact words were (to Jason), “tell your brother to be careful”.
– This stopped the fun for a while and we scarpered, getting in a tuk tuk that got blocked by a car, movie-style, until we nigh on offered the guy money to ram the car. He backed up onto the pavement so we could make a getaway.
– No-one is still sure what happened.
– We got away ok, and made it to the haven of the Moskito bar, where we settled in until the early hours, including Jason and Jamie ordering kebabs from the restaurant across the street, which the sweet guy brought across on a tray for them.
And yes, the next day was pretty much a write-off. For me, anyway – Jamie and Jason went go-karting; kudos to them for not killing themselves driving with the hangover shakes.
It was a very fun night indeed, and I can now proudly say that I have experienced (and survived) the true Heart of Darkness.
Tags: Cambodia, Travel
Suzanne
Suzanne, you won’t get a response from your mother, she has just fainted.
Glad you still thought of it as a “fun night”
perhaps it is because you can’t remember it all.
Stay safe, Love Lin
Hi Suze
Sounds like Friday night in the Mullaloo Tavern.
Mike
I have been comforting a lady i work with whose 27 year old son has left last week to travel the world- first stop Thailand, I have been reassuring her how he’ll be fine and that my couisin is currently travelling- was intending on letting her read your blog but have just changed my mind!!! x x x
Hi Suze, Lin’s right, I am still in shock!!!!
I really do think you’ve led those poor Canadian brothers astray. I bet they’ve gone rushing back to Canada to avoid ever having to go back to the HoD.
Stay safe and try to avoid such places in the future, even if it is in the name of research!!
Love & miss you.
Mum
You’re in shock Clare – imagine what I’m like!! Suzie, the candles will be going up ten to the dozen after this instalment. Please take care and like your mum says try and avoid these places it all sounds very dodgy.
Lots of love – Auntie Rosemary xx