By the time we were well and truly sick of playing cards, we arrived in Luang Prabang early afternoon the following day and travelled in tuk-tuks to the guesthouse. They were individual bungalows amongst beautiful gardens and a pond, and had electricity, hot water, real toilets, private balconies and a bar. Really not much more you could ask for, and it was clear this is a completely underestimated holiday destination.
Incidentally, apparently the Laos government decided to create a campaign called ‘Visit Laos’ a few years ago, but forgot to advertise it outside of Laos. They also couldn’t decide on a start date, so the campaign ran for two years. Bless.
More buffet-style Laos food and many many more Beer Laos later (these are served in 640ml bottles and are US$1, in case you wondered), we crashed and woke early the next morning to our breakfast being served on our balcony (have I mentioned Laos rocks?) before boarding our tuk-tuks for the 45-minute journey to, um, some random village in the middle of nowhere that I don’t know the name of. But it rocked, because it was in Laos, and I’m sure they had some piglets around somewhere.
This was the beginning of our mountain trek that would end in a swim at the waterfalls and it was a great morning – the scenery was amazing and it was good to stretch our legs after two days in a boat. Legally, we were supposed to trek with a Laos tour guide, but they wanted to charge us a small fortune, so the local village girl that saw us off joined us for about an hour beore heading back. Our tour leader had done this trek hundreds of times before and was adamant that the tourist police would not travel a few hours out of their way to arrest a bunch of tourists in the forest, which made sense, so we continued on alone.
We arrived at a sign saying ‘Danger: Do Not Enter’ near the end of our trek, blatently ignored the sign and exercised whatever rock climbing skills we had to climb down to Sakai’s hidden swimming spot. With no tourists around we were able to swim in crystal clear waterfalls, butterflies and exquisite bird calls in such abundance we couldn’t help but reenact a few Herbal Essence ads. It was so perfect I couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else in the world at that time.
After a final swim, we made our way back up the cliff and continued on to the less-than-perfect-full-of-tourists waterfalls, and were almost there when we were stopped and told we had to have our photos taken. By the tourist police.
Obviously the pissed off tour guide had tipped off the police and they wanted to take Sakai down to their offices for questioning. Which he refused to do. They probably would have decided not to bother, until the tour guide, who was waiting at the entrance to the waterfalls with the police, mentioned he didn’t have any of his paperwork about our group on him (obviously on purpose) which meant we really shouldn’t have been there. We all kind of glanced at each other with a mumbled round of ‘fuuuuuuck’ before being led to lunch by Sakai and our tour guide. And the tourist police. By this time the clear blue sky had been replaced with menacing black clouds and the sounds of thunder could be heard drawing closer by the minute. Our rice arrived when it hit – like Buddha had decided to finish off the day with a storm to prove he couldn’t just do perfect waterfalls.
The girls closest to the edge of the hut decided to move to the other end of the table to avoid the rain, about two seconds before the massice straw-covered wooden planks that made the roof collapsed spectacularly with the force of the wind. Right where the firls had just been sitting. After another chorus of ‘fuuuuuuck’ we huddled under what was left of the hut, scoffing down our rice and piss-bolting into our tuk-tuks for the open-air journey back to the guesthouse. In the storm.
It was one of those moments where you laugh histerically, because it was so funny, and yet it was nervous laughter, because it was a very close call, and we didn’t particularly want to see the inside of a Laos hospital. Needless to say, we all arrived at the guesthouse safe to see Sakai being led away by the police.
His passport safely hidden in the boys’ hut, he kind of casually called out that he would be back soon, and that he had alays managed to talk his way out of arrests in under an hour. A look of panic crossed everyone’s faces, until the guesthouse manager confirmed that our dinner and tuk-tuk were already booked. Phew, we would still get dinner then. We settled into a game of cards and a few beers when Sakai wandered back in. After telling the police he didn’t mind spending a night in jail, they realised the whole debacle wasn’t worth their time and Sakai negotiated the fine down to US$30 (and in only 35 minutes, his best time yet).
That night, toasts were made to bravery and sheer luck in the face of falling roofs and communist police, and we settled our shaken nerves with a few more beers until well after midnight.
-Sarah
PS: Photos are coming…probably when I arrive in Bangkok in the next few weeks. Anticipation is everything, you understand.
Sarah
From Belly (Lu):
Oh my goodness. I am sitting here and really wishing that i listened to you all those times you asked me to come with you on this trip. I am so jealous and so in awe of everything you are doing. I hope that you got at least one photo of the little Thai pigs… ohhh my little spam! I want to adopt one! I hope that you continue to have as much fun as you have already had! We both always knew that you were a Buddhist, so get your monk duties over and done with while your there! Be safe and dont be good…
Yallah,
Belly xoxox
From Roslyn:
Darling Sarh
Loved the story of the Tourist Police, just think how much employment these people provide to the local community. Without the tourist to police they would be out of a job.
The scenery sounds amazing, looking forwrad to photo’s. Wish I was there.
Love Mum
From Liz Rudder:
Hi Sa,
Just to let you know, Aaron added those little remarks in my last message. Sounds like your having a ball, glad to hear your drinking, dealing with the police, and travelling to great sights. Wish we were with you. looking forward to pictures. Be safe.
Love Liz, Aaron, Talisha and ashton
From Nick:
G’day Sarah,
I kinda 4got about this website im embarrassed to say, but then i checked it and was confronted with an encyclopaedia to read! So i skim read a cpl of paragraph’s and decided that u sleep on rocky trains, need to learn to drink tea and realise that ur old charade aint looking so bad now after that rogue elephant… All sounds fun to me, sitting here on a Sunday nite with another week of work and uni ahead of me wishes i was overseas *sigh*.
Just got back from my hol house with some mates for my b’day. Yep thats rite, i’m 20 in 3 days, its not so embarrassing to say that u had a crush on a 20yr old as it is towards a 19yr old hehe.
Keep safe, Nick
From Keanna:
Sarah, sweetie…. i told you i could fit in the compartment in your bag!! why on earth diddn’t you take me up on that offer…
Your sweet little sister is extreamly jealous of your on-goings with the police, elephant rides, and near experiance with death!!… all this and more what can i say but,……
I WANT PHOTOS!!
take care little hashbadankie….
Be good…. XO Keanna
From admin:
Hey Nick – glad you are being kept entertained by my adventures, I suppose the rule of half your age and add seven works for us now but you know I just don’t think long distance works for me 🙂 hehe.
Keanna – photos coming soon. Trust me, you will be dissapointed, so it’s probably best to imagine it all in your head, where I probably look hotter and have a better tan. And straight hair.
xoxo