From Asia to Europe

Why is it that no sooner do I pledge to myself to undertake a project, do I get saturated with activity and lose sight of it? It’s almost as if activity is magnetic, pulling other activities in the area towards it. Or rather, is it that activity is in heat, and male activities within a sniff won’t allow it to get on with her day?

I’m getting back down to my magnetic, heated activity now.

The latest and greatest of new here could take me awhile to narrate in detail, so I’ll give it my best shot abridged. The 15th brought my friend Jeanine’s 30th birthday and a birthday/housewarming get together at my new apartment. While the cats are out (Elliott and Rebecca, on their 5 week vacation), there were roughly 20 cats arriving here for hamburgers, tandoori chicken, curried pork and vegetable skewers.

On paper, the party was organized: I sent out e-invitations, lined up the music, bought BBQ’s and built them ($6 Canadian each), bought the hard to find groceries, and friend Chef Dan was to arrive in the morning Saturday for a shop at the market and an afternoon of food preparation. Friday night was lovely and anticipating; Saturday, a full moon or equinox or some other astrological shift. To sum it up: it poured all day and night; my computer (with music) broke down; we found only a portion of what we needed at the market – which sent me scavenging across the city in search of overpriced ground beef; the far corners of Taipei produced no trace of hamburgers buns; I bought only enough coal for half a BBQ, nevermind two; the Taiwanese school crew arrived early, as Dan and Lisa were still preparing food; the BBQ smoked the apartment and the food; people ended up cooking their own food; I bought far too big birthday cakes for Jeanine and Lisa; friend Kady thought it was my birthday and came bearing gifts; and the cops arrived at midnight as there were noise complaints about my speakers that were set to ‘3’ and the casual conversation amongst smokers on the patio.

We took the party to a nearby ‘quaint’ little bar that had no one in it (typical of the night), doused our livers one last time and a group of us walked the half hour back to my place to ‘crash’.

I’m especially impressed with and concerned for my friend Michael, who after my complaints about my feet, traded me his Birkenstocks for my heels and walked the whole way back in them, as daintily as can be.

Moving on to last weekend, which was spent in the east coast city of Hualien with my school admin. We had a typically Chinese-organized schedule of things to do and see that was seamless and a little overwhelming. We went dolphin watching by boat, hiking in Taroko Gorge, out for food, out for food, out for food, to various national parks, relaxing for a short time, and off again. While I did appreciate the effort that was put into planning it, I’ve come to understand that we Westerners tend not to like our free time so ‘booked’ and would rather meander around and soak in the experience in digestible chunks.

This past Wednesday night brought the fright of my days here in Taiwan. I’d just finished tutoring Melvin and was arriving back at the apartment for the first time. I strutted across the apartment in the dark and flick on the light switch beside my room when I found myself face to face with a black, hairy spider the size of a tarantula. It shot across the wall at an intimidating pace and hid itself behind my fridge. In between my primal screams, I managed to find my wits about me and called my boss to determine a) if it was poisonous and b) what the hell I should do. While she’d never seen a spider this size in Taiwan before, she suggested spraying insecticide around the fridge to prevent it from coming out.

And then what? I didn’t care, I wanted it away, and sprayed copious amounts of poison around the fridge – which could have brought me down, not to mention the spider.

I left the kitchen for a short time to, without luck, call on my neighbours – and when I returned, I was nearly sick to see the spider pausing gracefully in the middle of a puddle of poison before continuing across the kitchen floor. I grabbed my shoe to arm myself. It seems as though the spider sensed me there infront of it as it lifted its legs up, in jumping spider fashion, before sprinting towards me. In reflex, I threw my shoe at it and stunned it into a defensive position. In a proceeding, out-of-body experience, I grabbed the garbage can and brought it down full force, sending spider organs in all directions – and screaming all the while.

(A question was brought up by a colleague and still lingers: was there an egg sac, and if so, where did it hide it?)

If it’s not my ‘wild parties’, then it’s my sadistically vocal pastimes that will prompt a unified eyebrow raise around the alley and cause mothers to guard their children’s eyes as I walk by.

I hope that the next entry will be much less eventful.

Barbarically, Laura.

While I should be hitting the sack at this hour after waking up at 6am to walk in ‘Youth Park’ (which is, ironically, the assembly area for local elderly for their daily Tai chi), I’ve just read my friend Lindie’s blog and feel inspired to chronicle something this week.

My last entry was likely hormonally-fuelled, and I surprised even myself in re-reading it. My Malaysian colleague and friend Joowin came by tonight for a Malay ‘cooking lesson’ and she pointed out how fortunate I am now to be financially independent and without kids – so I suppose if I’m going to snuff myself out for the sake of the next generation, I’d better do it now in the echo of my chest beating, and before that very generation makes its entry.

I’ll put it on my ‘to do’ list.

Saturday I’m planning a housewarming party – slash – birthday party for my friends Lisa and Jeanine, the latter who is turning 30 and I’d imagine who would rather not have me post that publicly. When she starts looking it, I’ll keep it to myself! Lisa is also drinking from the same fountain of youth, and keeping them both as friends here has me peering at my evermore pronounced forehead lines with a critical eye. The Taiwan experience has been uncompromising on the skin and lungs.

The theme of the party is to ‘wear or bear something distracting’ and so I’m eager to see if a) that line was noticed and b) how creativity unfolds. It came to me during a ‘moment of brilliance’ (in the shower) last week and I’m anticipating huge cultural gaps in interpretation between the western and eastern clans.

20 minutes ago the horny cats in the alley below were having a masochistic session – after a collective, distinctive ‘yowl’ followed by a smashing bottle, I’d imagine them now to be splayed out in prone position, sharing a cigarette.

In the next life I hope to return as a randy, old cat.

Daydreamedly, Laura.

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