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Decisions, decisions

July 11th, 2007

I whoop with pleasure, reading the travel blogs of thirty-somethings out exploring the world alone (see My Links on the right sidebar), and sometimes I feel a little weird going on with this blog when, until July 25, my travels are interior. That is, I am nattering and figuring, adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing lists of figures till I feel like I’m nothing but a jumble of numbers myself. Nobody ever told me that “retirement” involves making a HEAP of really BIG decisions about things (like money) I know nothing in the world about. I might also add that this process is gawdawful boring and therefore I am not (what a relief) going to chronicle it here. But that explains why I’ve been quiet the last few days. I’ve been doing THAT. What I can blog about, for those who want to know, is the fact that Manko and Kendra finally got paid; and the more I learn about Portland, Oregon, the better it seems. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Texas, Where to plant myself | 1 Comment »

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Playing house, Brokeheifers 2

July 9th, 2007

I love my new apartment! After 41 years of living in places with various constellations of other people I was supporting, I’m now living in a doll house, or a cradle in the tree tops (oak to the left, pine to the right, and their boughs intertwine right in front of my balcony). I love the simplicity (I can see everything at a glance), the beauty (those freshly-painted walls, my last few collected things from all over the world), the grace of it–because to me, simplicity is grace. This place isn’t quite as small as the one-room efficiency-with-bathroom-in-the-hall where I lived in Greenwich Village in 1971, but it’s close. Basho is settling in, chattering his teeth at the birds and squirrels in the two trees. So that’s the good news. Manko and Kendra, on the other hand, who have been selling Kirby Vacuum Cleaners 12 hours a day, six days a week since May 25, have still not been paid the promised $1950 a month guarantee due at the end of their first month of work. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Manko, Texas | No Comments »

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Courage and Zen

July 5th, 2007

One of my favorite teachers is the Rev. Bill Clark, who used to be the minister at the UU Congregation here. Thanks to Alicia for sending me this link (accessible to those who have QuickTime and can listen to MP3 downloads) to a wonderful sermon of a little less than half an hour in length, on the subject of courage. If you don’t have the half hour or the technology to listen to it, here’s the part I love best: Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Books and Movies, What does it mean? | 1 Comment »

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Freedom to walk through some doors

July 4th, 2007

Alan Johnston is free, and his words move me. In his press conference he says, “Maybe you have to have been a prisoner of some kind for some time to know how good it is to be able to do the most basic, basic things that freedom allows–like to get a haircut, to drink what you want, to walk through some doors, to speak to people that you love…” I think of the prisoners I love, the men who edit The Midnight Special (next edition coming out as soon as we get it copied and mailed). “To walk through some doors…” after years of sliding steel, banging steel, metal bars, steel grids, handcuffs, chains, and triple-thick plexiglass windows, just the wonder of being able to walk through some doors. Freedom. I think about the doors in free people’s lives, doors both literal and metaphorical. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Buddhism, Politics, Prisons and Prisoners, What does it mean? | 1 Comment »

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Guarding the stories

July 3rd, 2007

I am so grateful for National Public Radio. After the inanities of television, even television news, even so-called “Public Television,” the depth of National Public Radio is a great relief. I often hear a snatch of something as I’m driving, and then I come home, go to the web site, and read what I heard, or listen to it again. This time it’s a series on War and Literature, and a book by Aminatta Forna, a woman from Sierra Leone. Her most recent book is called Ancestor Stones. This piece of it brought tears to my eyes: Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in About Africa, Books and Movies | 1 Comment »

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Portland: what’s not to love?

July 1st, 2007

Since I started dreaming of moving to Portland, Oregon and settling into a little studio apartment of my own, with Basho, and connecting with the local Zen center there as a “lay practitioner,” I’ve received heaps of emails and several phone calls from friends saying, “Oh yes! Much better plan!” It turns out my idea of living in a Zen center was a source of nattering worry to those who care about me but are kind enough to hold their tongues and let me do whatever the hell it is that I’m going to do. This is not to say that I won’t still do the worrying thing. Green Gulch Farm is probably the single most beautiful place in this country. Upaya Zen Center also occupies some gorgeous land and does good work. I’m still going spend a week at each of those centers, doing whatever they ask me to do. But this Portland idea is growing on me. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Where to plant myself | 1 Comment »

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For spiritual advice, call this number….

June 29th, 2007

Tonight at 10 p.m. I got a call from a student. I love this kid. He first showed up in one of my freshman comp classes three or four years ago. He failed that class because he quit attending class and didn’t hand in his last few essays. I think he was in jail toward the end of the semester, but I guess he knew I really liked his quirky rogue intelligence and creativity. He showed up again. And again. I think he has taken four or five classes from me now, and he was planning to take yet another one this fall, but tonight, he called and launched what I hope will be a whole new life for himself. Our conversation was delicious. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in What does it mean? | 1 Comment »

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Portland, here I come!

June 29th, 2007

I remain fascinated by the possibility of moving to Portland, Oregon either AFTER a spell of living at a Zen center, or INSTEAD of living at a Zen center. There are three apartment complexes–well, be honest–old folks’ homes (you have to be 62 or older to be considered): run by an association of labor unions, in three different parts of Portland, Oregon. Those who know me well will be screaming NO! You’re not THAT old! But wait. Drop the stereotypes. These places offer nice little apartment-type living spaces (all utilities included) for 1/3 of whatever a person’s monthly income is, with preference given to low income people. I love the politics of that. This could be very good. Fuddy-duddy old rich people would be screened out. Progressive labor union types, rabble-rousers and old hippies could be in. Of course I need to take a look. It’s a shock to my system to think about this option, but it might be the best thing out there. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Where to plant myself | 1 Comment »

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Blog breaks and movies

June 28th, 2007

Ansie phoned this morning to be sure I hadn’t fallen off the edge of the universe. I was blogging my brains out for a while, and then suddenly I had nothing at all to say. I’ve had several delicious hour-long conversations with good friends far away. Every day is full–of what? Time seems to expand or contract to fit what’s available. When I was teaching five courses and trying to get my last chick safely out of the nest, the hours were filled. Now I’m doing nothing. And the hours are filled. A friend who was just in Portland, Oregon got me excited about the possibility of moving there, so I’ve been on the internet, reading everything about Portland. In a desultory way I’ve been packing, sorting, getting rid of more books, watching movies on DVD, reading, gazing at old photographs, doing yoga, walking, having migraines, and even coming to the computer to read other people’s blogs. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Blogs and Blogging, Books and Movies, Buddhism | No Comments »

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Wislawa Szymborska

June 23rd, 2007

I have spent the day with Wislawa Szymborska’s Poems New and Collected, and I am enraptured by her, spellbound and deeply pleasured by her, grateful to her and to Stanislaw Baranczak and Clare Cavanagh, who put her words into English. I will spend many more days with her, Inshallah. Her book will have to be squeezed into the small bookcase I have set aside to take to Seth’s house, books I can’t bear to part with. There is a wonderfully engaging photograph of Szymborska on the inside back cover of the paperback edition of the book. She was born a year before my mother, and she looks like a woman full of stories. The first of her poems that shredded my consciousness was “Tortures.” There is another translation and another interesting portrait photograph on a blog here (scroll down a bit, to the third picture and just below it). This version, which I think is a much more powerful translation, first appeared in The People on the Bridge (1986) but is included in the collected works: Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Books and Movies | No Comments »

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