The Young Man Odyssey

If you plan to traverse 200 miles in a country with only two ATM’s, don’t leave with only $50.

On my last night in Laos, I spent it over dinner with two Laos and an Irishman. Our hotel was on stilts on an ancient lake, with huge limestock peaks jutting out of the ground around us. After dinner the Irishman and I do as the Irish do, and drank ourselves silly talking philosophical thoughts. It was the best night of the trip, and a wonderful way to leave Laos. However, the beer squandered 1/5 of my remaining cash.

This was the wild west of Laos, (metaphoricly, geographicaly it was the north-east corner) where no one speaks English and there is very little transportation. In the misty, hungover morning, I packed up my bag and set off down the road by foot, asking locals to point me to Vietnam. Walking past the local schools, the kids would get so excited to see a foreigner they would all run to the entrance of the grounds and flashed smiles that melt your heart. And they did, and helped me to walk for that cold hour shrouded in mist. After 3 miles, a pickup truck taxi offered to take me to the border for $8. I agreed. I arrived at the line to Vietnam with $28 in my pocket and an ATM card I didn’t know where to use.

Unbeknown to me, this was the sleepiest, least traveled border crossing in Laos. The 2 guards on duty were indeed asleep, and I could have just strolled on through into the deep reaches of Vietnam. However I needed my stamps. After waking them up and having my bag searched, I proceed on by foot again, on windy mountain roads and past towns that didn’t look charming enough to sleep in.

I walked and walked, hoping for some speck of civilization. I’d pass small villages and the kids would come out to greet me, but there was less charm and calm to their manner, and they yelled at me to hire a motorcyle ride for $10, which is much more than I could spare. I kept walking. 3 hours I walked, the snaking mountain roads under overcast skies. Each step had a subtle terror to it, I was scared. The daunting fact came to me that I had never been in a more vulnerable position in my entire life. Money is the wind that makes the travel wheel turn, and I was running out of it, and fast. Plus the mountain roads were leading nowhere, only to more fog and more road. Bamboo houses punctuated the road every few miles, but I had been told the bus was gone for the day and judging by the looks of things, there was no ATM anywhere.

Finally a trusting looking man rode his bike past me, tickled to see a foreigner. I thrust up the meager offer of $3 in Lao kip; he smiled and accepted. We drove the road I had been planning on walking, there was not a town for 5 miles. He dropped me off in front of a restaurant in another small farming town that was just a little more developed than what I’d seen on the road before. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was 100 miles from an ATM or hotel.

Outside the restaurant, confused locals swarmed me to get a look. No one spoke english and my hand gestures weren’t working. It’s hard to ask for a hotel room at a restaurant, especially in the middle of the most rural of towns in Vietnam.

Amid the confusion, finally the schoolteacher burst through the crowd huddled around me. She spoke English. I told her my situation with worried eyes, and what she told me put me at ease. She arranged for me to sleep in the restaurant and have dinner for $5. A bus would come at 4am which could take me to a city with an ATM for $5. She changed my remaining dollars into Vietnamese Dong and I finally felt that things were on the right track. I spent the evening watching Vietnamese news with a crowd of 20. When they cleared out at about 8, I made my place on a straw mat on a wooden platform where their entire family had eaten dinner, cross-legged, only hours before. I found little bits of rice where I lay.

At 4am the bus came, and I jumped on with a large smile. The driver sat me down on a stool next to the steering wheel and wrote $40 USD on a piece of paper. The smile vanished. I was a little panicked, and wrote down $10. He motioned to the door of the bus, signaling it wasn’t enough money. Heartbroken, I stood to get off, but he pulled me back. I ripped the wallet from my pocket and turned it upside down, showing him all that I had was $15 in Vietnamese dong. He took all of it and told me to sit down. Triple the price everyone else paid on the bus, and I had officially run out of money. I was a nervous wreck for most of the ride, unsure about the ATM I had been promised.

I made my situation very clear to the people on the bus. I learned the words for ‘I need’ ‘Bank’ and ‘ATM’, which is universal: ‘Ah-Tee-Em’. When we arrived at the bus station they arranged a motorcycle to take me to the bank. Overjoyed, I ran into the ATM stall and requested the highest amount possible. An error screen popped up, and angrily spit out my card. I tried one more time, praying, absolutely needing it to work. I asked for a much lesser amount, thinking maybe I had requested too much before, and Ho Chi Minhs stunning picture crawled out of the ATM. I was saved, money never felt so good. I looked up the word for train and instructed the motorcycle to take me to the station. The next train was in 5 hours, and I waited in the sad, damp station and made a good dent in Desert Solitaire. After 5 hours the train arrived and took me here, to Nimh Binh, which has an ATM that I will return to tomorrow. I plan to put a small fortune in my backpack before leaving, so as to avert such a mess again.

These were the most uncertain hours of my life, and it could have been much worse. A few more beers with the Irishman might have made the bribe for the bus driver not enough, and I might still be 100 miles away in the rice fields of the mountains. Luckily, it all worked out, and tonight I splurged and spent $5 on a room that has cable. It could have been worse, much worse.

I’ll will be in Hanoi tomorrow. The flight I decided not to get would have arrived yesterday. All that, to save what ended up being about $20. Adventure indeed.

I spent the day touring Buddha Park, built by a group of young, unskilled sculptors under the watchful eye of a master craftsman. If they were truly unskilled, you cannot tell, and it was a wonderful break from the fast pace of the city. It is built on land just above the Mekong River, complete with a little restaurant on the water where I had my lunch. Two monks that were on the bus with me wandered in at no charge and began reading stories to the local Lao kids under the giant sculptures.

I have spent 3 days in Vientiane not by choice, but by circumstance of my visa being processed. However, it is a wonderful capital city full of grit and character. It is not as beautiful as Luang Prabang, with it’s brick streets and French architecture, but the pace of the city continues on with or without tourists, and that is not the same for the other cities I’ve visited, whether be Thailand or Laos.

I am now the proud owner of sparkling-new Vietnam visa that ran me… 65 dollars with one day processing! To try and avert further over-expenditures I am taking bus and train to Hanoi rather than fly, (I’m also dreadfully afraid of small planes.)

But alas, this is to be my last night in Vientiane, which has boasted the cheapest internet I’ve used at .6 cents a minute. Tomorrow I shall be in Phonsovan, whose biggest tourist attraction is the plain of jars. The plain of jars are literally fields of ceramic and concrete jars scattered in fields that may or may not still be contaminated with landmines.

To Vietnam by Monday, and for you pleasure… two monks walking down the street:

Presently, I am Vientiane, the captal of Laos. I am here to figure out how to get my Vietnam visa and how to get out of Laos, which is more painstaking than you might think. The people are happy and well-educated, there is a thriving gay community, as in most SE Asian cities. But first, some generic constistencies that have for better or worse influenced my travels…

Hotels have cost from $2.50 to $6, if you are travelling with another person, the figure tends to stay around $3 to $4. Most times with the cheaper places, you will have a shared bathroom, hot-water showers if your lucky, maybe 60% of the time. And sometimes the “hot-water” will be lukewarm and you just have to deal.

All bathrooms, whether private or shared have basically the same configuration. Sink on the outside, toilet and shower in the same room. The showerhead is removable and hand-held, perched directly above the toilet. If you are showering, you are always doing so no more than 2 feet away from the toilet, in the same room, all the while sploshing the seat with clean water.

The toilets are usually western style, but some are only a foot off the ground so it depleats the purpose, you have to squat anyways. For some reason in Laos, rather than Thailand, the western toilets have been high enough off the ground to have a good sit and relax, when in Thailand taking a seat is out of the question unless you want your knees by your eyebrows.

The toilets, besides on rare occasions, operate their flush on gravity. You must take a bucket from the basin beside the toilet, and pour fresh water to make all the “jewels” float downstream through the tubes. The plumbing is too fragile to take toilet paper, so if you’ve had the good fortune to bring some, you have to throw it away. If you didn’t bring it, there is always a little spray-hose to help ring you out fresh and dry, which is a very religious experience. A spirital enema if you will.

People from Laos and Thailand evidently love rock hard pillows, and they will be sure to share their pleasures with you. It is like sleeping on your 9th grade Biology textbook, and it is no fun. The mattresses are usually hard as well, but tend to be softer than the pillows.

An oversized bottle of Beer Lao is 70 cents, any American candy is $1, any native asian candy is 30 cents. An hour on the internet is $4 in very rural places, $1 in big cities where the competition is fierce.

It is hot as hell everywhere, I generally do not wear long sleeves, and to have your feet exposed through sandals does a great deal to take away unwanted heat from your body.

I was reading somewhere that Lonely Planet’s Southeast Asia guides are the best-selling, which is why I’m seeing so many tourists. I talked to one guy today who was thinking coming to Laos would be like “some sort of Indiana Jones shit” but when he arrived he realized it was more like spring break. To get off the beaten tourist path is difficult, there have been tourists, and a lot of them, in every city I’ve visited.

Hope that paints a picture. I’m looking more towards an 18 hour bus ride to Hanoi rather than 1 hour in a small plane. I’m dreadfully afraid of small planes, especially when Lao Airlines doesn’t release their crash records, although I hear they’re getting better. But Hanoi is close, just as soon as I can get my visa. Cheers all.

Today I just walked out from my hotel door to see what was around the area, I was pleasantly suprised. Very nice day in the wilderness.

There are rocky trails all along and up this rock. This is the view from how far we got.

The view from the brick sidewalk of Luang Prabang.

THE TREKKING PHOTOS

Taken on the backpacking trip, when I still had hair. I decided it would be a good idea last night to shave my head and beard, so as I type I have a somewhat bald head.

China is very near the mountains in this picture.

Lunch on the first day, wrapped in large leaves, delicious!

This is the village we stayed on the first of our 2-night backpacking trip.

All is well, going to Vientiane tomorrow to sort out my Vietnam visa. One out of the three airlines flying the Vientiane – Hanoi route does not release their crash records. Very encouraging.

A ballet last night, a 7 hour bus today and I am in Vang Vieng, a tourist town comparable to Bangkok’s Khao San Road. I plan to sort my visa out in Vientiane either today or tomorrow, and be in Vietnam in the next three days.

That’s all, good cheer everyone.

I do not know a soul who enjoys 10 hour bus rides, and by the ninth hour I was ready to slap the israeli to my left just for a spark of entertainment. Everything went on peacefully, and while I boarded at 8:30 am we did not arrive until about 6. I didn’t slap anyone it was just one of those meandering thoughts that creeps into intensive boredom.

Luang Prabang is the poor man’s France. The very poor man, at around $15 a day. The streets are lined in brick, and the houses and restaurants sport European architecture, it is lovely to be back in civilization.

I dined with a Dutch man I met on the bus, fresh out of quitting his job. I often neglect to say my age as I fear it will come off.. well young. I left those details aside and we had Indian food which I had been craving, the 900 page book I’m reading being completely set in Bombay, India.

I shall soak up the city for a few days, and move on. Perhaps to the south to go tubing down a river, or perhaps to the airport to catch a plane to Hanoi. I do not know yet. But Vietnam looms in the near future, no more than 10 days away. I have heard mixed reviews, especially when it comes to their attitude about Americans, Mr. Bush has not given my passport any credibility.

Laos… is spelled Laos. It is pernounced La-O and I apologize for the misinformation in the blogs before. The French did throw the ‘s’ on there at somepoint but it is a silent s. sacre-bleu!

Alex, Steph, and I organized a 3 day, two night backpacking trip for $50. We had a bi-lingual guide who was 24, and another guide to help cook, clean and set up beds, who was 14. He drank a beer with us one night to the delight of both our older guide and the young one himself. But that’s another story.

Anyway, we hiked for a little bit and had lunch at a little village where the huts are made out of bamboo, and our lunch was wrapped in large leaves. It was delicious. From the mountains, we could see into China, we are that close to the border. We hiked another few hours and came upon another village, with no electricity, bamboo huts as well where we would be sleeping. The people swarmed our little hut, lazing around the trying to read my book. At night the village could have not been there, it was complete darkness because no one had lights in their huts. All you could see were the teenage boys running around with flashlights on the prowl for girls. I have never, ever seen the stars more vivid or beautiful, but it was hard to find the constellations because I’m not used to… being in Asia!

The next day was more of the same, but the village we slept in this time was more peaceful and humble. Naked babies wandered the place, as well as pigs and chickens. It is really run to scare the hell out of farm animals, and doing so made the kids laugh.

We encouraged the kids to sing native Akha songs, the Akha is the name for many of the hill tribes around Laos and Thailand. We bought beers from the little shop, it was amazing how they got them up there, and drank with both our guides and had a fine time over dinner.

I killed them with the harmonica. I don’t think I’ve ever played it better, and when I gave it to the kids to play I realized how much I’ve progressed in a year and a half. There is a great picture that Steph took of me playing and the kids watching that I have been promised in an email.

We wrote numbers on the caps of our beer, and moved them around for the kids to guess which number was where. Our 14 year old guide was drunk off one beer, and he burst into outrageous fits of laughter guessing each number. He got most of them wrong. If you have mixed thoughts about myself drinking with a very young man, please realize it was encouraged by our 24 year old guide and he’d drank before. He smoked cigarettes on the trail as well.

It was a wonderful night, and when we returned to town, I had only minutes to say goodbye before the bus took me back to Luam Nam Tha, there is only one road out of Muang Sing (where we trekked) and I would rather have a 10 hour bus journey tomorrow then a 13 hour one. I was the only one on the 2 hour bus ride from Muang Sing, and have never had that experience. We had taken a mini-van to Muang Sing, and the windows were much bigger on the bus, I got to reflect and watch the gorgeous countryside I missed on the drive coming up. I felt very accomplished, and I loved have a whole bus to myself.

Steph had a bit of… stomach issues to put it lightly, and couldn’t make the bus ride. I bid them goodbye and have not had a night alone in about 5 days. It is nice, although I will meet up with Steph and Alex either tomorrow or the next day as our itineraries for the time being are identical.

My spirits are good, as are most after they go hiking for 2 days. There is nothing I love more than backpacking. I will be in Udomaxi, or Luang Prabang tomorrow,

There are re-occurring characters in this novel.

Sitting in an internet cafe on the Thailand border, reading an email from my friends from Pai, they said they had crossed the border in the morning. Coincidentally moments later Steph and Alex walked in, stating they had overslept their crossing. We had a buffet dinner where you take pieces of raw meat, including by mistake chickens feet which we fed to the dog, and barbeque them on hot coals set upon your table. We ended the night drinking Whiskey at a table on the Mekong river, looking upon Lao, and reazlizing we’d be there tomorrow. Fitting, I thought.

In the morning we took a 90 cent boat across the Mekong, and were in Laos. A thirty day visa was $35, and I proudly had a new stamp in my passport. We planned to take a bus about 250 km or so. The bus left at 10 am and did not arrive until well after 6. Imagine the fire roads of the trails of Mt. Tamalpais, but in worse conditions, these are some of the roads in Lao. Periodically when the roads got too steep, we would have to walk periods uphill, and we were delayed for 40 minutes because they were actually building the road. It was a dirt road, with no concrete, and I have never seen a bus contort in such odd positions. It was fun and comfortable, an experience albeit a long one. A group of seven of us from the bus bombarded one hotel and gave it quite good business.

So this morning our group of seven shall part ways, although Alex, Steph and I shall continue on together. Upon my recommendation we are going to Muang Sing, where a lovely non-profit company that regulate the trekking industry runs backpacking trips for $10/day. I look forward to it, and I don’t know how readily accessible internet shall be. Cheers.

First of all, Laos is a foreign term invented by foreign powers. All travellers that have been there, and all the Thai locals call “Laos” Lao, and that is how I shall refer to it from now on. I recommend the same to everyone back home. Thai’s don’t use an s on the Phillipines as well.

Last night I met up with a German PhD hopeful whom I shared a room with. We went to a horrible kareoke bar in remote Chiang Saen, and the whole experience reminded me oddly of a ho-down in Texas.

Anyhow, in the morning I went to the Golden Triangle to get a picture of Lao, Burma, and Thailand. It was a horrible tourist trap but I got some nice pictures, though I am too lazy to share them with you now.

I took two sawganethew (song-thow) the pickup truck taxi’s to Chiang Kong. Toward the end I built up confidence and rode holding onto the back which made for a much more memorable experience.

Nearly the entire road parallels the windy river of the Mekong, which acts as the border between Thailand and Lao. So my entire day I have been staring Lao in the face, and tomorrow I am taking a boat across to begin my travels there.

It takes 10 hours to get 200 km, the roads are so bad. There are many boat options as well but the Mekong does not traverse the entire country.

The extremely remote countryside of Northern Thailand is like none I’ve seen thus far, and riding on the back of the taxi to see it was completley wonderful.

The roads are bad in Lao, the people are wonderful. There are many temples but only one ATM in the whole country. I look forward to it.

I just realized today that this page has gotten more than 1800 hits. I think it’s a respectable number. Thank you very much to everyone who follows.