We’re leaving on a jet plane…….

Thankful we had sent our clothes shopping home whilst in Hoi An, we cruised through the 15kg weight limit check on the Air Asia flight from Hanoi to Bangkok. I am using the word ‘cruise’ very loosely as Chris had 0.1kg to spare and I had 0.4kg to spare. But thankful we were especially when we saw others before us having to pay hefty fines.

We were both excited during the flight to Bangkok….but it was not because we held particularly fond memories of Bangkok; in actual fact Bangkok had not endeared itself to either Chris of myself first time around, but quite simply because we would be checking into the Holiday Inn Hotel. We had decided from the very start of our trip that should the unlikely event of having some cash left at this stage in our travels occur then we would throw what little we had at upgrading to a hotel.

We had five days in Bangkok before our long-haul back to the UK was scheduled to leave and we were intending to make the most of it. We were planning to head North to the ‘Bridge over the River Kwai’ and we had also been considering a visit to ‘Tiger Temple’ – a wat where the monks raise sick tigers and tourists can get up close and personal with the animals (although it is worth noting details of the ‘Tiger Temple’ do not feature in the lonely planet for fears that the tigers are in actual fact drugged). As it transpired we did not make it to either and for the first day we did not leave the hotel making good use of the gym, the swimming pool, the sun in the sky and rooom service. The rest of the week pretty much followed the lazy start it had kicked off with ensuring a stint by the pool to top up the tan before revisiting our favourite cheap restaurant and visiting a few places recommended to us by friends and family.

The only other plan we had for our last week was a bit of retail therapy. We missed out the shopping malls on our first visit as we did not wish to carry any new purchases however after checking BA’s weight limit – a whopping 32kg each until September we were planning to run wild picking up a few presents, some souvenirs and some cheap clothing. Well Chris did as planned and bought himself a number of t-shirts, jeans and trainers whilst I uncharacteristically could not bring myself to part with any cash.

Dan, our good friend from university who is now living in Sydney and has travelled extensively recommended that we visit ‘Bed Supperclub’ – a nightclub based in Bangkok’s Sukhumvit. So on our final night we headed to ‘Cabbages and Condoms’ restaurant which is a NGO supporting the campaign against AIDS. We sat outside amongst thousands of fairy lights and had quite possibly the hotest dish we have had in our lives!

Mouths burning we headed to a nearby bar for a few drinks to cool our mouths. We later made it to Bed Supperclub which is undoubtedly one of the best nightclubs we have ever been in. The website describes it as

‘a ‘dining in bed’ experience. Housed in a custom-built new building and set in a modern and futuristic all white environment, BED crosses the divide between dining and cutting edge entertainment. In BED you take your shoes off, lay down and you’re at home’.

……so we indeed took off our shoes and made ourselves at home! Chris was enjoying the music so much he could have happily stayed there until our fight left.

The journey back to the hotel was a little surreal as the tuk-tuk’s radio played Peter, Paul and Mary’s version of our blog title ‘We’re leaving on a jet plane’ quite fitting as later that day we would be coming to the end of our 11 month trip. In high spirits we asked the tuk-tuk driver if Chris could sit in the drivers seat for a quick photo before retiring for the very last time as travellers.

Our final trip in Vietnam was on board an old Junk boat in Halong Bay. As with everything in South East Asia, you can never be 100% what you are going to get for your money and this trip was certainly no different. Still feeling physical, after our cycle trip to the Vietnam/China border, we were anticipating a three day/two night kayaking trip around the stunning Karst scenery of Halong Bay…..in actual fact we got a two hour kayak! But we weren’t complaining as it turned out to be a blessing in disguise!

We boarded our Junk along with four Swedish, two Brits, two Aussies and a very sweet Korean man. We aquainted ourselves with our fellow trippers over a few beers whilst we cruised out of the port and into the spectacular bay. Halong Bay is a world UNESCO site which holds mystical importance to the Vietnamese as they believe a golden dragon entered down into the bay, and can still be seen today by the very fortunate. The mist in the sky certainly added to the mystical aura of Halong Bay as we looked out at numerous junks dotted around the giant rock faces jutting steeply from the deep green water.

We pulled into a sheltered area where we were given the opportunity to swim and jump from the boat. Not ones to miss such an opportunity we stripped down to our bathers and followed Jason (the Aussie) in by jumping from the top deck….well it is sensible to let someone else test how deep it is! I am not sure who enjoyed the swimming and the jumping from the boat more – us or the sweet Korean guy who kept giggling/taking photos/taking video footage of us jumping into the water. After we dragged ourselves from the water the Korean man presented us with a packet of Oreo cookies as a reward for our escapades or maybe just a thank you for contributing to his holiday snaps!

That night we had a delicious meal before retiring to our rather plush double cabins with ensuite bathroom. Feeling rather smug at our wonderful surrounding we hopped into bed and turned of the light only for us both to fall silent when we heard a scuffling sound. Chris, being far more intuitive than I, immediately identified the sound as a rodent to which I responded by leaping for the light to search for the culprit. Having no success I shut the window and wrapped myself tightly in sheets so no skin was exposed. After plucking up the courage to turn off the light and having come to terms with the fact there would not be much sleep that night we lay still listening for the little critter. After a restless but rat free night we met up with the other passengers for breakfast to learn that the rat had entered the Aussies room only to cop it over the head from Jason’s flip flop (technically Jason being an Aussie I should have said ‘he copped it over the head from Jason’s thong’ but that would have been so wrong to all the British people reading this!). The more discerning of you will be pleased to learn the dazed rat made a sucessful get away.

Day 2 saw a visit to ‘amazing caves’ – yes that is really what they are called – the guy who named them was clearly a straight talker! These caves are three rooms which increase in size with the last one looking like a set out of a science fiction movie. The caves are ‘amazing’ which spectacular rock formations which the Vietnamese think look like various animals. The caves are also lit by coloured lights which left Chris remarking at what a good night club the caves would make (you know- if they weren’t a UNESCO site!). The peoples favourite rock formation had to be the ‘pink penis’ judging by the scramble for the perfect position for the photo op!

We also vistited a cave with its very own singing guide – a surreal but extremely memorable experience! The guide is a Vietnam veteran who spoke no English so sang to us all as he showed us around a cave which was lived in during the war with America.

We later disembarked the newly christened ‘Rat Boat’ on Cat Ba Island where we headed of on a 5-6km hike up to a view point. The hike was under normal conditions would have been ‘a walk in the park’ except the ground was slippery from rain, the going was rocky and steep in places and Chris and I had packed for a ‘two day kayaking trip’ so the only shoes we had brought from our hotel in Hanoi were flip flops! Oh and I didn’t mention that one of my flip flops had broke the day earlier forcing Chris to pull an 11th hour repair job using someones lighter and some leaves – a survival technique that would clearly leave Ray Mears envious!

Following the hike we checked into our hotel, cleaned up and headed straight back out again to go kayaking. Naturally Chris and I were excited at this prospect and were naturally paired up. We soon learned that kayaking is an activity that always seems appealing and in fact is…..for the first ten minutes ….and then the arms go numb and the novelty wears off! Once again to make matters worse we had a wonky kayak that would only veer to the right! Soldiering on and frequently ramming other kayakers we paddled around enjoying secret lagoons which compounded the mystical nature of the bay by giving rise to echoes.

Back on dry land we met for dinner and all headed out for some last night drinks and Karaoke. It was over dinner that whilst chatting to our guide I took the opportunity to ask if he too had heard the rat(s). A very sheepish guide admitted to hearing the blighters and then regaled how he woke to find one sat on his stomach!!! Having chased the rat off he returned to sleep only to wake again to find his companion back again in the same position! He then told us he owns a cat which sometimes sleeps with him and he had been dreaming the cat was lying on his stomach. Yuk!!!

After a great night out with cheap beer, Karaoke and dancing we woke a little worse for wear the next day. The group, somewhat subdued, boarded the junk to make our way back to the mainand where lunch was waiting for us. Although the trip was not exactly what Chris and I signed up for, we had a great time and met some more people happy to share some wonderful memories of what will forever be known as ‘The Rat Boat’!

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