Fruits of my Google labors
This week I found myself with a substantial amount of time on my hands, so I turned to Google, as I so often do, to satisfy my simple entertainment needs. It is amazing the vast amount of useless junk you can find on the Internet! (Not that I claim this blog is in any way useful, other than for Kelly’s morning entertainment at work and to satisfy my own narcissistic tendencies.) So, lacking any other mildly entertaining news, I thought I’d share with you some of the random sites that have helped waste a few additional hours of my life.
Dead animals as art
I don’t even know what to say about this site. Dead animals dressed in little clothes and put on display as art. Deer head trophies on people’s walls bother me…the poor, dead reindeer decorated with sleigh bells and glittery ribbons during Christmastime at Outdoor World really bother me…but little squirrels and birds stuffed and dressed up in little frilly dresses like they’re about to go to a tea party? That’s not curious, it’s just plain sick.
37th Annual Fun Day & Possum Festival
It’s almost that time again, as my dad informed me in the email he sent the other day. Every first Saturday in August all the toothless, alcoholic, farmer-tanned rednecks and white-haired, Bible-thumping super-Evangelists come together for a day of amusement in the Possum Capital of the World—Wausau, Florida. Although it’s gone downhill from its early days of greasy pole climbing and Mule Ball, there are still activities galore to entertain people from all walks of life and every level of cultural sophistication. For art lovers there are craft stalls full of little hand-painted wooden cutouts of children urinating, which would make a lovely addition to any flower garden. For more musically-oriented individuals there are a number of acts that will be performing, including the Run’d Off Band, who would surely be at the top of the Billboard Picking Chart, if such a chart were to exist. Culinary delights include a pancake breakfast, followed by a lunch of cornpone, collard greens and, of course, cooked possum (possum ice cream is also available for dessert…no joke). And, finally, for those with a philanthropic heart, a possum auction takes place, with proceeds benefiting…well I’m sure it benefits somebody. And I can’t neglect to mention that this year is an extra special year, with my grandfather, the founder of this fine event, to receive the honor of having the Possum Palace named after him. No doubt photos are on the way for that. I do, however, highly recommend visiting for yourself. And if you talk to me first I could make sure you get a spot in the Possum Day parade…I am connected to people in high places, after all. I could even introduce you to Jim Bakker, provided he’s not in prison.
Wikipedia
This is, by far, my greatest find of the week. I have not only occupied many hours on this particular site, but I’ve learned soooo much! Not necessarily anything useful, but that’s beside the point. For example, I learned that my erstwhile home of Acton is the birthplace of The Who. I also read the entire history of English football as well as refreshed my rusty memory of the bubbles song just in case Comcast decides to supply FSC to my area in time for the start of the Premiership later this year. I also looked up Wausau, hoping to find information about Possum Day, but among the millions of pages of information on Wikipedia’s database, nobody has yet written a scholarly article on that subject. I might have to remedy that one of these days. Maybe I’ll just cut and paste the information from the preceding paragraph. It would be sure to boost attendance numbers, even if it only attracted people like me who love a bit of kitsch.
My would-be-famous ex-coworker
One of the guys who I used to work with at Which? had told me that he was a musician, but that the reason he’d joined the ranks of us content migrators was because his girlfriend was making him get a real job. How typical. I’d been to his Website way back when, but in one of my many moments of boredom this week, I Googled him to see what was new with him. It’s really kind of bizarre seeing people you know from work outside of the business environment, so it was funny seeing him on his MySpace page looking all musician-y and everything. I listened to his songs online and a couple of them are pretty good! He was a really nice guy who I shared many happy online Scrabble moments with and who led me to Rosslyn Delicatessen, which ultimately saved our Thanksgiving away from home last year. I hope he’s doing well with his music! Last I heard he was still at Which?, having taken a permanent job, so I hope he hasn’t given up on the dream. Maybe I’ll leave him a little MySpace message to give him a boost.
An education in English…the original one
From my various experiences in the UK I’ve certainly come to know and understand certain very English words and phrases. I now know that a “chav” is far more than someone who really, really likes the Burberry tartan print, that commenting about getting my “pants” dirty can have more embarrassing implications than just having walked through a puddle of mud, a “fanny” doesn’t just refer to the region of the body where many indiscriminate tourists wear packs to hold their wallets, and I’ve also discovered that a “quiff” is not necessarily something you should be embarrassed for your boyfriend to hear. What at first boggled my mind when I went to the UK for the first time now seems, in some cases, second nature. Kelly and I entertain ourselves constantly with our own personal catch phrases. (Kel, stop giving me evils!) When I first went for a semester abroad 2 1/2 years ago I used to write down any words that were blatantly British, along with their meanings in “American.” After a while I thought I’d heard pretty much everything when I no longer found anything to add to my list, but as I’ve discovered, there’s still so much to learn! Case in point, last night Kevin and I were chatting online when he called me a divvy. I had no idea what it meant, but I was intrigued to find out the meaning of a new word that I could add to my mental list. While it certainly wasn’t flattering, I’m excited to have a fresh term for “idiot” added to my lexicon of insults.
Don Juan turned Agony Uncle
This site showcases a faux-vandalized picture of Kev with a squiggly mustache and fangs. Do I really need any other reason to love it?
And the ultimate in crappy sites…cats taking a crap
While I was searching for various cat-related information this week in light of my recent feline acquisitions, I stumbled upon the most pointless Website I have ever seen. I’m a cat lover, but even I don’t need to spend my time monitoring this webcam to make sure I don’t miss the opportunity to see a cat taking a dump live on the Internet. Thank god at least this site doesn’t think so highly of their content that they attempt to earn a profit by charging a fee…although I’m sure someone out there would undoubtedly pay it. And if that’s the case, I’m sure I could get a webcam and undercut this guy…my cats aren’t camera shy.
Tags: Travel
Administrator
Leave a Reply