You read it here first: Pepsi contains no fruit.

This disclaimer, stamped on all bottles of Pepsi (and Coke, for that matter) sold here in India, amazes me. For a start, it's kind of inherently amusing in a 'well, I'm glad we cleared THAT up,' way.

But what really makes it stand out is the context in which it takes place. Surely India is one of the greatest examples of the "caveat emptor" approach to life anywhere on earth. Travel here lands you knee-deep in scams, so far up the Ganges without a metaphorical paddle that you're all but doomed. The silver's not silver, the marble's not marble, and that model replica of the Taj you're eyeing off? Well, okay, that's just in deliciously bad taste.

When you can never quite be certain if your bottled water is legit or just carefully repackaged cryptosporidum, and your guidebook carries a warning that food in Agra may be deliberately poisoned to make you fall ill, you do begin to feel you're kind of on your own when it comes to consumer protection.

Yet my Pepsi bottle urges me to feel otherwise. Clearly, somebody up there wants us to Know The Truth.