The Wobble

By now you would’ve gathered that the bus journey was dreadfully uncomfortable. I spent the entire night fighting the urge to pee and also frightful force of gravity, time and time again a bump on the road left me hanging indiana jones like on the edge of my bunk which I figured was a better fate than being spooned by my new peruvian friend!! Eventually we landed in Hampi which as you can see from the photos or at least get some idea from them, is a really amazing place. The first thing that strikes you is the landscape, everywhere there are these giant sandstone bolders, twas as if there was a massive shower of them thousands of years ago. We got the now customary indian reception of a fleet of autorickshaws each touting a guesthouse somewhere in Hampi. Luckily enough Marika, a dutch girl we got talking to on the bus had done some research on accomodation in the town. She said that the other side of the river there were some places that were more chilled out and of a decent quality which would do for me. So off I went traipsing after them buckling under the savage heat I just prayed that the place was close. After about an hour we managed to find a place that had 3 single beds. The place was excellent. Hammocks & a bar - what more could you want? I immediately made for my bed though as I was seriously wrecked. Took it easy that night, went for a little walk later on in the evening but nothing major - had a few beers and went to bed!!

We decided to take in the sights the following day but to be honest you could spend weeks here and not see it all. We took a guided tour through the main temples in the middle of the town, there were monkeys, cows, goats, hens, pigs and even an elephant in this place. It was great entertainment. The place was full of weekend day trippers, I lost count the number of times young boys came up and shaked my hand, asked my name ‘That is a strong name sir’ before buggering off as quick as they came. They all used the same line so rather than actually thinking that Phil Gill is a strong name I think its just a default response they get thought at school when encountering men with incredibly white skin!!

From here we walked up Hampi Bazaare where all the local business people came to sell their wares, it was a thriving market but unlike mumbai and goa they were not nearly as insistent on flogging you stuff so that made it alot more enjoyable. On up past the bazarre there is the largest hill in hampi which of course had a temple on top of it. It was crying out to be climbed so that was our modest target for the day before going to find something to eat. The walk up there was spectacular, you should get some idea from the photos what it was like. For the following hour I wrecked heads humming the indiana jones theme tune - thats what it was like for me
We went for food back in the bazaare - it was quite funny, the place we went into was pure local, but they also had just one proper pan to cook food so we got our food one person at a time, I got mine first but poor adoni had to wait till last, he was wilting big time before they got round to him. We then headed for the last boat back to the other side of the river, missing it meant a 40 km taxi ride to get around so it was imperitive that we got there on time. On the way we were accosted by this tiny little girl who immediately attached herself to marika and myself. She was just completely adorable and waited with us until our boat arrived. Its a little crazy the way that children can roam freely without fear. She sat there though and played away, it really does bring it back home that we are no different from each other at least at that age - she reacted in the exact same way that my nieces would when I goof around with them. Its these little encounters that I am enjoying so much so far on this trip.

That night was another mix of some delicious food and a few bottles of beer. after the bar closed we sent one of the local boys off to get some bottles of rum. with these in tow we headed on down to the riverside for a couple of hourse, talking away under the full moon and stars. From there the moonshine on the temples across the river really looked otherworldly. The only downside was that I has put out to harvest for the mosquitos, the annoying little bastards eat me up. They cannot seem to get enough of the prime cavan beef

There were alot of israeli young people staying in hampi - Its a thing that after they have finished their mandatory service with the army that they take some time off to travel and blow off a bit of steam. To be honest they took over the place way too much and treated some of the locals especially the guys who worked in the place where we were staying with what amounted up to just pure distain - it really left a bad taste in your mouth but I guess it also had the effect of galvanising the group I found myself in. Some of them did however tell us about ‘the lake’, which was a good place to visit and relax in, So that was our mission the next day to find the lake!!

I woke up about midday the next morning with a massive urge to get some motion going in the bowel area, got up out of bed and into the ensuite - for some reason I took a quick look at the bowl, I dunno if its something I always do, maybe it is and because I never see something memorable I forget that I do it - this time as I am sure you can guess there was something there. A little mouse threading the water furiosly, he must have been completely knackered. I reckon he was in there all night. I quickly went outside to get one of the attendants to do a job on him as I didn’t have the heart to flush the poor little bugger away, needless to say the attendant had less sentimental issues, flush flush flush and mickey was on his way to a better place.

Soon after we headed off to find the lake, we passed some wonderously balanced boulders, there were plenty of monkeys aswell playing in the trees as we passed. Eventually we spotted what was a wall in the distant, it clicked now. The lake was a resevoir and a beautiful one at that. We picked a spot where we got hassled first by indians, then by goats and finally by a bunch of the aforementioned israeli party crowd with their head melting techno music. We treked a little up the coast where we could swim, sit around and chat away. Some of the views left us speechless. Of all the places I have been in india and all the places I will see I am sure that hampi will rank high when it comes to sheer visual stimulation. If anyone who reads this has the chance to go there, go already!!!

With enough sun for me and enough of my daz whiter than white skin for my travel buddies we packed up and headed back to the resort. The next day was a well deserved lazy day, I just sat around in my hammock reading my noam chomsky book - ordered food and just about managed to summon enough energy to climb some boulders to get a good view of the sunset. Its a real ritual in hampi to find a place, temples are usually the best and most spectacular and magical so we headed to one of those. It was full of israeli kids, two off them were how should I put it, chemically enhanced. They had a pair of Bongo drums and were beating away on it with the rythym of a drunken uncle at a wedding - I really put so much energy into wishing a monthy pythonesque spontaneous human combustion fate for these two numpties but somehow it didn’t work - we had to put up with the incessant noise trying to block it out while the deepest red sun I have ever laid my eyes on plunged itself into the horizon. For minutes after it disappeared we were left speechless by it - just minutes though, you know I cannot keep myself quiet for that long

The following day was my last day. I decided to go and meet my friend from home in Bangalore. He is working there and had the use of a plush appartment with hot water and laundry - two weeks into the trip I figured it was time for a bit of luxury. So off I went away from my new friends for what I assumed was the last time. I was lucky to come across a wedding type ceremony in Hampi village before I departed for my nighttime bus to bangalore. To be honest I couldn’t even begin to describe the scene, it seemed chaotic at first with drums and dancing, people continuously circling around a happy/bemused couple throwing all sorts of confetti on them. I have some pictures which I will post up soon!!

But that was hampi for me - I loved the place and will come back again some day.

Later,
Phil

I’m sure the title of this post will get a snigger or even full blown laugh from some people, esp those that know me. It never struck me as a place that I wanted to visit that much but being in a Hampi made it inevitable that if I wanted to fulfill the objective of making it to Kerala in time for Xmas that Bangalore would need to be at least passed through. The plot thickened even further when I learnt that a mate of mine from Mayo was over at around the same time on work duties so meeting up with him for a few beers along with a proper hot shower a good bed and pretty much a break from the crazy 100 mile an hour mess that is india certainly seemed like a good idea.
So I booked myself onto the 10 hour bus journey from Hospet to Bangalore. I managed to book a single sleeper this time, which means that I didn’t have to share the bunk with anyone else! The problem with this senario though was that the bunk was at the very back of the bus, furthest point away from the back axel so therefore those who remember their physics classes from school should know that maximum displacement occured every time we passed over one of indias endless unmarked speed bumps. I felt like one of those chump wrestlers that gets wheeled out every week to face the champion except that this bout lasted 10 hours. Time and time again just as I was about to doze off THUMP,BANG,WALLOP and it feels like my head is hanging out of my arse!!
This bus trip was also pretty cold. If I had’ve paid the lonely planet a little more attention I would’ve noted that its 1000 metres above sealevel - about the height of irelands tallest mountain so for the first time in india I actually shivered, I know those at home with the current minus 5 degrees will hold little sympathy for me but when you are only wearing a tshirt and the rest of yer clothes are stowed away in the boot it definitely was a desperate times, desperate measures kind of scenario. So I had the in genious idea of taking down all the curtains that were around me and wrapped myself around in them and that did the job nicely!! Though it was an amusing sight indeed for the bus porter when he came to the back of the bus to tell me we had arrived at the terminus.
Arrived into Bangalore at about 7 in the morning. Jumped into an autorickshaw right away and directed the driver to brendans place in the diamond district not too far away from the airport. The one outstanding thing that hits you about bangalore is the sheer military presence that is in the town. Nearly every second building or complex was a military or naval base of some description. People went on about the traffic alot but to my eyes it was no worse than mumbai. Arrived over to brendans place at about 7.30, it was nice, well all I saw of it at that stage was the lobby as the hungover fecker was still comotosed in his bed and couldn’t hear the phone ringing. Eventually made it up to his place and it was class, 3 bed appartment, big huge fresh bed, hot water showers and premiership soccer on the tv - it was just like it was in dream I had on the rough journey there. At this stage I was wrecked, no sleep at all I just wanted pure unaldulterated kip, if I was a playstation game my energy bar would be flashing red red red!!!
But coffee was also called for, went into town on a tuk tuk with brendan. We had a cup of coffee and walked down the main shopping street of Bangalore - to be honest it was like anti india, plenty of people walking around with the latest mobile phones, drinking lattes with a laptop over their shoulder so I didn’t get the same ‘Oh look at the big white boy’ attention that you get in other places. We did call into a tailors shop as brendan was getting a suit made before he went home, while he was off talking to the man of the shop some of the assistants came over to me trying to sell me a suit - he started to show me a whole selection of fabrics going on about how they were so fashionable, pure italian whatyamacallit etc etc Spotting the potential for comedy I asked him with the straightest face ever if he could cut me one in bright pink, I swear it was the first time I have seen an indian speechless!!

After that little episode we went back to brendans place where I got my sleep and him off to work. We went to the pub that night for a few scoops and some food before getting back to bed again. The next day brendans driver ravi brought me around the city to see the sights, now when I put up the pictures on the site you will notice one thing about them compared to most other sets of pictures. There aren’t many - there is fook all to see in Bangalore. I went to this Hindu temple which had one cool statue and a little cave, inside the cave was a load of scenes depicting hindi traditions made out of wax models, paper mache and the movement was driven by some hydraulic machinery - it was hilariously bad - if an 8 year old presented this stuff as an art assignment they would just about scrape a pass for effort. I went to see some palaces and some parks but they were all crap - the palace reminded me off the furniture store at home. I managed to get one picture of that place before a gun totting guard and his whistle quickly made me stick the camera into my bag again.
That night we went for more beers and food this time joined by brendans girlfriend and work mate. We had a good laugh talking the usual rubbish before hitting the sack once more.
Saturday myself and bren went back into the tailor to pick up the suit, it wasn’t quite ready so we headed for a few beers, ya know for a change. In there we got talking to 2 guys, one indian and one english guy. The english guy asked us about this mystical place in dublin that his mates had told him about where the women were so friendly etc etc some place called Coppers!! Told him I never heard of it
That night was brendans work xmas party. I managed to worm my way into the fray. Again another great night was had, indians know how to enjoy themselves. There was a dancefloor there that by the end of the night was completely wrecked with people jumping up and down on it, shaking their rump and generally doing their thing. Hardly any of them were drinking so it makes you wonder are they actually crazy or is there something wrong with us that we feel the need to plough alcohol into our systems to shed our inhibitions. Either way it was still great craic.
Sunday we took it easy, visited Leelas palace for some hangover remedies. A really beautiful shopping centre worth visiting if you are ever in bangalore. Went to watch the abject liverpool utd match before heading to a kareokee bar out beside where brendan worked. It was a funny sight, they had no johnny cash so I didn’t step up to the plate. Plenty did and entertained all.
When we got back to the appartment we threw on a luke kelly dvd and had a few more beers before hitting the sack. Monday as a result was a complete write off, I left the house once for a bounty and twice for good. It was really good meeting up with brendan there, bangalore is a party/drinking town. Don’t go there if you want to see sights, palaces, parks or whatever big cities typically offer. The bus stop in the city market was the only place that really resembled the rest of india, a shambolic mess of people all over the place ether tucking into street food, begging or trying to sell you a rolex. In a weird kind of way it was comforting, it was tough leaving brendan and the easy life but it was time for me and india to reconnect. So onwards to the hill station of ooty - 2400 metres above sealevel!!!

Happy Christmas to everyone/anyone that reads this - and Best wishes in the new year
Christ I am corny!!!
Phil

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