Sunday, July 31, 2005

Krakow, Poland:

Krakow is not Prague. No one-eyed pimps are following me around and nobody is offering me drugs. Hustlers and cons aren't telling me how they need some money fast because they were recently hustled or conned. I don't have some fat slob in a "Lord of the Beer" T-shirt standing next to me and bragging to his friend about how the stripper liked him so much, she didn't make him pay for that lap dance. There isn't anyone's puke on my shoe.

Sure, I've noticed a few drunk English blokes wandering around the street in coordinated T-shirts (one read "TI"; another read "TS"; a third read "BU"; and the fourth creatively and unpredictably read "TT"), but at least they're wearing shirts and still possess the ability to physically move their own asses around, as opposed to the catatonic lushes lying about in the center of Wenceslas Square. What's more, I can wander through Krakow's old town square in the middle of the afternoon without pushing or being pushed --- by somebody's grandmother. The largest medieval town square in all of Europe, it features the 14th-century St. Mary's Church and the 16th-century Renaissance Cloth Hall. The 14th-century Florian Gate, the only remaining original gate to the old city, is a short walk away, as are plenty of other eclectic buildings and churches. The sight matches the best that Prague and Budapest have to offer and while Krakow is a smaller city, it is also noticeably less jam-packed.

Mind-blowing architecture, great food, a thriving bar, club and cafe scene and some very friendly people and its pretty much official: Krakow is awful. I recommend that you stay at home.

I began walking around the city on the night of my arrival, but then spent numerous hours exploring its cobblestone streets on Sunday morning, afternoon and evening. Although the exhibits at Wawel Castle were closed by the time I reached them, I managed to take in the Gallery of 19th Century Polish Painting and Czartoryski Museum. The former features some impressive works, two of my favorites being Jozef Chelmonski's dynamic "Czworka" ("Four-in-Hand": http://artyzm.com/c/chelmonski/e_4.htm), which threatens to break out of the frame and over-run the viewer, and Wladyslaw Podkowinski's not-so-very-subtly erotic "Szal uniesien" ("Ecstasy": http://cgfa.sunsite.dk/p/p-podkowinski1.htm).

The Czartoryski Museum had a number of impressive pieces but the top work and main draw is Leonardo da Vinci's "Lady with an Ermine" (http://www.artchive.com/artchive/L/leonardo/ermine.jpg.html). Nearly lost to the Nazis during World War II, the painting is thought to date to the year 1482. It disappeared to the world for centuries and has been altered and touched-up over time. Because it was never signed by the artist, its authenticity was long questioned until American scientists found LdV's fingerprints on it in 1992. Thus Krakow is one of the six cities in the world which can boast a da Vinci. But what happened to the painting's sister piece, "Lady with a Marmot," remains an art history mystery.*

I had a long lunch in the old square, sitting at one of the many outdoor tables and watching the crowds go by as I drank a beer and ate a plate of Polish cured meats with fresh dark bread and horse radish (about $8 total and worth every bit of it). In the late afternoon I walked around Wawel Castle, once the seat of power of the old Polish kingdom. The castle looks out on the Vistula River over a series of scenic trails and bike paths. A sculpted iron dragon at the foot of the castle wall breathes fire periodically for the kitschy entertainment of children.

That night I walked through the atmospheric old Jewish district of Kazimierz. With its understated cafes and wine bars, its now something like the Greenwich Village of Krakow, though the buildings are far more impressive and the pace is far less rushed. If you visit Krakow (which you shouldn't) you can't miss it. Spielberg stayed here during the filming of "Schindler's List" and used a number of real locations to depict the neighborhood. Oscar Schindler's factory is also here, though I did not find it on my initial walk through. I did pass one of the few old synogogues to survive the Nazi occupation (the Nazis relocated the Jews to an area outside the city center, but it is miraculous that a 15th-century synogogue and several others escaped destruction). As I peered inside the entry-way during sunset, an old Jewish man with a keepa/yarmulka on his head eyed me suspiciously. He looked to be about 75 or 80 and I had to stop and wonder at this. He quickly turned to pray, however, shutting the door behind him.

I ate dinner at a Georgian restaurant and tried a traditional Georgian pork and cheese pie. It was excellent... and only about $4 with a drink. I stayed in the city center until nearly 1 AM before making the 20-minute walk to my hostel. The streets were wide, well-lit and perfectly safe, with a number of people still out.

So is Krakow the "New Prague?" The comparisons are all very stupid to me. If you are looking for a city that offers some of the same things Prague offers, you will find that in Krakow. Moreover, Krakow, though smaller, seems to be cleaner and more organized than Prague, not to mention a lot more dignified (though its the crowds of tourists who degrade places, not the places themselves). The level of hospitality is higher, prices are lower, and nobody bothers you to buy anything you don't want --- which is an amazing change of pace for me.

So, to sum up, you should definitely avoid Krakow. I am sure that by the time you get here, the place will be just like Prague anyway. (And a few of you --- and you know who --- will no doubt make it that way if it hasn't happened already.)

* Yes, this is a dumb joke. Har, har.