One Activity, Two Cultures–Gay and Non-Gay Square Dancing
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008Jeremy and I are getting ready for our annual expedition to the gay square dance convention. For those of you who haven’t done any square dancing since seventh grade, this is meant for a refresher–and a discussion of some differences between the gay and the non-gay version of square dancing. [And I’ll apologize to non-gay square dancers if I misrepresent their notion of square dancing. This is what it looks like from the outside.]
In square dancing, the dancers are arranged in groups of eight around the floor. Indeed, there are two dancers, a couple, on each side of a square. And, somewhere, there is a “caller” who will provide the sequence of moves for the squares to do. The couples facing or with their backs to the caller are called “heads”, and the couples with their sides to the caller are called “sides”. In each couple, the “boy” stands on the left and the “girl” stands on the right.
In gay square dancing, the sex of the person dancing “boy” or “girl” may not match the designation. Indeed, I’ve been in lots of squares where all eight dancers are men. So, when the caller says “men trade”, in gay square dancing, if I’m dancing “boy”, the first thing that I do is to stick up my hand and say “boy”–otherwise, how can anyone know who is who.
In non-gay square dancing, at least usually, the expectation is that dancers come in pairs. The man’s shirt matches the woman’s skirt, and they’ll be dancing together all evening.
In gay square dancing, the expectation is that dancers are individuals. We dance together as a couple for one “tip”–about 15-20 minutes. [The name comes from the old days where the caller would work for a while and then pass the hat. The caller wouldn’t go on unless he got enough of a “tip”.]
As we dance, the dancers often reply to the instructions from the caller with an interjection–known as “fluff”. For example, when the caller says “acey deucey”–which is a direction to the dancers to do a particular move–the dancers also reply “Quack!”. Why? Because sometime lost in the mists of time, a caller pronounced the call “acey ducky”. As time goes on, the fluff evolves…so the fluff of gay square dancing is quite different from that of non-gay square dancing.
The fact that non-gay square dancers come in pairs leads to some unfortunate consequences. It’s often the case that, of a square dancing couple, the man dies first. Then, there is no designated partner for the survivor. And existing couples are not eager to allow an unattached interloper to dance. So a number of these widows start dancing with gay square dance clubs, where not having a pre-planned partner is a non-issue.
I’ll close with a personal vignette of difference between gay and non-gay clubs. When I was living in Los Angeles, I wanted to get in some extra time dancing, so that I would improve my skills. So a woman friend and I went to a non-gay club. I was very habituated to “identifying” when the caller gave directions like “men trade”. One time, when that happened, I stuck my hand up and said “boy!”. The little old lady dancing next to me patted my arm and said “We can tell, dear”.
Bob