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Naked Night at Blow Buddies

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Given the name, I suppose that you won’t be surprised when I tell you that Blow Buddies is a sex club in San Francisco for men who want to find other men for, shall we say, oral enjoyment.  It’s always quite a diverse group of men, all ages, ethnicities, builds, styles….there are a few rules of the establishment–no cologne, “no polyester”, and shrieking about “Sex and the City” is probably not a good idea.  They do encourage bare skin, and it’s always warm enough not to need clothing.

And once a month–the first Wednesday if you’re planning travel–they have a Naked night.  On that night, everyone checks all their clothing except shoes and socks.  It’s one of my favorite times to go.  It seems that, in addition to our clothing, we also shed some of our defensiveness that urban living requires.  The result for me is often an evening of quite friendly connection.

It’s also great to see the variety of the men who are there.  And there is a certain shamelessness that comes from everyone being naked–and plenty of guys are obviously aroused.  I think that it would also do most guys a lot of good to see the varieties of “equipment” as well.  According to legend, all men are concerned that they don’t “measure up”.  Well, take a look and get over it.

The other amazing part of the evening for me is that, for any uniqueness of appearance, there seems to be someone else who is noticeably turned on by that uniqueness.  If I want to connect with a tall, skinny guy with lots of body hair and a large member–well, I can find one…plenty, in fact.  I’ve had to get over the fact that not every man is equally interesting to me in the erotic arena.  But really, I understand that what I’m doing is looking at the surface.  Is it any more superficial than saying that I want to marry an Ivy-league educated lawyer?   

As the evening goes on, I find myself thinking of the experience as more a matter of weaving a connection among the various possibilities of men who I attract and men I’m attracted to.  Most of us seem not to be overly “specialized” in our tastes.  Frankly, one thing that really gets me interested is another guy making clear that I’m just what he’s been looking for.

And, when it’s time for me to go, I can leave with a light heart and a spring in my step.