myrainasia

Since no one comments on my blog and e-mails are few and far between (with some notable exceptions who I have already thanked) I am considering suspending this effort and going back to my diary- where I have finally finished writing about Sydney, leaving me a little less than 2 months behind.  Shape up folks or the vicarious journey ends in Laos.

I promised to back up and write about Vientiane.  Unfortunately, when you are traveling, new cities replace prior cities very quickly and a week ago seems like months.  Another similar phenomenon (bit of a non sequitur here) has to do with remembering which new friend told you what about his or her travels.  When you start traveling your brain has enough memory space to hold each new friend and his or her story.  As you go on, this memory space seems to get used up, and while you recognize the people as you bump into them for the second or third time (there is definitely a tourist trail through southeast Asia) you know you remember the face, but it takes a while to sort through the various stories in your head and match the correct face to the correct story. 

So, after this brief detour, back to Vientiane.  I liked it a lot.  I seem to be one of 3 tourists who did.  I keep telling everyone I’m from NYC; I simply like big cities.  OK, “big” is probably an overstatement in connection with Vientiane, but there are different neighborhoods, i.e. the tourist section, the business district, the outskirts.  You can actually take a few hours and walk around.  Well, no, you can’t, because if you walked around for a few hours, at least in April, you would melt into a puddle like the Wicked Witch after Dorothy doused her.  But if it wasn’t 100 degrees out, you could take a few hours.

While there were definitely a lot of tourists in Vientiane, it was also clearly a real city.  Have I mentioned that there is not a single Mickey D’s or Starbucks in Laos?  Tourism is booming in Laos, so that statement will probably be outdated in another few years.  Can’t say I missed McDonalds, but I really could have used  a Starbucks or two.  Laos has a coffee industry and, much as I love Laos, I think the coffee is from hunger.  Aside from the fact that it’s very thick, fresh milk is rarely served with it.  They use condensed milk (in part, I suspect, because it does not need refrigeration to keep) which makes the coffee sickly sweet.  I don’t mind this in the iced coffee (which I drink by the bucket), but it sends shivers up my spine first thing in the morning.

Once again, I digress- back to Vientiane.  Some beautiful and important wats, but I won’t go into them in depth (partly because I have already discussed wats at great length on this blog, and partly because I don’t remember the names of any of them) and an Arch of Triumph which Lonely Planet disses, but I liked.  Also went to the Laos museum.  Much of it was quite fascinating and well laid out (not to mention pretty well signed in English).  The second floor had the modern history of Laos, with different rooms devoted to different periods in Laos history.  They kind of lost me on the Vietnam War era.  While I think the US was utterly wrong about Vietnam (doesn’t the “domino threat of communism” seem rather quaintly misguided today?) the part that irked me was that every time they wrote “U.S.” or “America” it was “imperialist U.S.” or “imperialist America” as if that was the name of the country.   France wreaked a lot of havoc and basically caused the whole mess in the first place, but the signs still said “France”  not “colonialist France” or “imperialist France”.

Another important digression here and that has to do with the land mines we blanketed across much of Laos during the war years, also known as unexploded ordinance (UXOs).  This has made much of the country uninhabitable and much of the very fertile land unarable.  They estimate it will take over a 100 years to remove these mines at the present rate.  Okay, seems to me, we put them there, we really should take them out.  Wow, what if some of the zillions we are spending in Iraq could go to cleaning up our past messes? (Won’t even pretend to guess how long it will take to remove UXOs from Iraq and Afghanistan.)

Back, yet again, to Vientiane.  Should mention that I took a hotel with a pool.  Cost a whopping $30 a night but worth it to me.  Also had an herbal massage.  When they showed me into the massage room and gave me loose shorts and a top I was definitely wondering how they do the massage.  So, first the masseuse beats you up a bit with her hands.  While she is doing this she has a pile of what look like large sachets heating up atop  boiling water.  Then she beats you up with these herbal (basil?) sachets.  Might have that spice wrong (having an olfactory memory lapse here)- but it smelled a little like getting whacked by Vicks Vaporub.  Felt quite nice though.  Have slacked off on the massages.  Too hot to have anyone touching my sweat drenched skin.

This hotel also had a buffet breakfast included.  As noted above, I can’t stand the coffee and I”m fast losing interest in cold eggs and cold bacon and cold sausage.  I don’t understand why they can’t keep the flame going under the chafing dishes- can’t be that expensive.

Really need to mention Buddha Park.  Sort of wild park about an hour outside of Vientiane.  Built by some guy who was definitely sampling the Happy Menus.  (See Vang Vieng entry if you don’t know what that means.)  Lots of large, really cool statues of Buddhas and assorted Hindu gods.  Unfortunately I had to  take a public minivan to get there which was, not suprisingly, extremely overcrowded.  The last 20 minutes was over an unpaved road.  I had not eaten lunch (because I had eaten breakfast),  so I was very hungry when I got there and went to eat.  Then I got up to explore the park and thought I would pass out.  My situation was not helped by the fact that as soon as I started to explore, I was approached by another of the many chatty monks who want to practice their English.  And you really don’t want to dis a chatty monk.  On the other hand, I really did not want to pass out or puke in front of a chatty monk  so I excused myself and went back to the restaurant area.  (Bear in mind that restaurant area is an outdoor area with wooden tables.)  Luckily there were some sheltered areas that are presumably used by people who bring their own lunch and I was able to lie down until I thought I could stand up without keeling over.  My dizziness was outweighed by my need to take another 100 photos or so, but when I was finished I knew there was no way I could go stand by the exit and wait for a minivan to take me back to town.  However, there was an air-conditioned tourist minivan by the gates and a batch of French tourists in the gift shop (again, I use that term loosely) area.  I launched into French and, essentially, shamelessly begged for a ride back.  One lovely woman went to ask their guide if this was possible and, grace a dieu, I got an air-conditioned ride directly to my hotel.  Merci French tourists.

That covers Vientiane.  The next day I packed up and headed south.  I was aiming for Pakse, where I am at present (for the second time) but I didn’t want to take the tourist VIP overnight bus to Pakse.  Being different, I wanted to stop in Savannakhet.  That was either a 10-12 hour public bus ride away or a 1 am drop off in Savannakhet.  I previously blogged my bus ride to Tha Khaek.  Not much to see there but I had a nice hotel room.  Then I had another 6 hour ride to Savannakhet.  This time the driver made no stops for the people on the bus, although he did stop to have himself a 20 minute lunch- about 5 minutes down the road from where we took a brief stop so food and drink vendors could sell us lunch through the windows.  When I realized he was actually sitting down to eat I led the charge off the bus.  I wanted to smoke, but more than that,  I did not want to be baked alive on a steamy, overcrowded, stationary bus.  When I started to head out, everybody followed me.  No bathroom stops on this trip but it’s amazing how little one needs to use a bathroom when all incoming liquid is being used by your body to stay hydrated.  My seatmate was a very sweet girl who spoke no English.  Her shyness evaporated as the trip wore on and she leaned her head on my shoulder as I was leaving to say goodbye.  The Lao people don’t do much intentional touching (being packed like sardines means a lot of unintentional touching) so it was actually very sweet.

When we finally got to Pakse I hightailed it to one of the high class joints in town.  Being Pii Mai (the Laos New Year) it was fully booked, but there were a few no shows and I managed to snag a room at the standard rate of $19.  Heaven!

Once again, I am running out of energy to finish my stories of Laos, and still a few cities behind.  I should mention that Pii Mai is a 3 day celebration which was 5 days this year because the first real day of the holiday was on Monday, so it unofficially started the Saturday before.  The holiday involves a lot of celebrating, drinking, dancing and, generally being very friendly and happy.  But, most of all, it involves water.  Lots and lots of water poured, dumped and thrown on everyone.  The concept comes from being purified (baptism anyone?) and most people participate with a smile.  The children participate with immense energy and glee, lining the roadway with hoses, buckets and waterguns.  The greater danger (:-) are the young adult males who have much better aim and do not scare off as easily.  Also, it seems that girls are supposed to drench boys and vice versa.  I, along with every other falang (foreigner) and Lao alike, spent much of the time very wet.  This is not such a  bad thing since the holiday is in the height of the hot season.  I accepted all of the dousings with affable good spirit until I got to Champasak- after the holiday was finished!- and the drenchings continued.  I started hollering at some little kids- “Enough already!”  They may not have understood the words, but they got the idea and backed off.  It was all fun.

Maybe I’ll finish writing about Laos from Cambodia.  Maybe this is my last post.  We’ll see. 

So much to tell; so little inclination to actually write.  First off, it’s hot as hell in Laos right now.  My best guess would be mid to high 90s daily.  When I planned this trip I was thinking how nice it would be to skip winter in NY and travel in an “endless summer”.  This was NOT what I had in mind.  I was thinking low to mid 80s.  I take 3 showers a day and still manage to melt through everything.  I won’t consider a room that doesn’t have A/C and I’m at the point where I don’t even want to go into a restaurant if there is no A/C.  But I watch the Lao people around me in their jackets and wonder if this is some genetic thing or just conditioning.  It’s been so hot even the Laos are saying it’s hot.  But they don’t look hot whereas I (and all the other westerners) have sweat visibly poring out of every pore.

The heat has a big impact on travel.  If I do 1 planned tourist sight a day right now I feel very proud of myself and think I have earned the right to run back to my hotel, peel off my dripping clothes and hop in the pool (which feels like a bathtub).   I am also highly conflicted about where to go tomorrow although I’m quite sure I have spent enough time in Vientiane (which is a comfortable and charming city but not exactly chockablock with big tourist sights and small enough to know well in about 2 days- I have been here 4).  I want to go south to Savannahket, but this town is about 10 hours away by public bus (public bus means no A/C and generally significantly overcrowded) and my maximum for public buses is about 3 hours.  I could take the VIP bus (A/C, toilet, fewer stops and no overcrowding) that goes to Pakse.  This is a sleeper bus that leaves at 8:30 pm.  I could jump off in Savannakhet at 1:30 am, but no one can tell me if there are any tuk tuks to meet this bus and the thought of being alone in the bus station at 1:30 am makes this a non-starter.  So I am contemplating taking the public bus to Ta Khaek which  is about half way to Savannakhet and means only 6 hours in a public bus.  Now here’s where it really gets interesting- the Lao New Year- Pii Mi- is a 3 day holiday which starts Monday, which means it’s actually a 5 day holiday if you count the weekend, which means everybody and their brother may be heading home for the holidays, which means my public bus may be beyond overcrowded- if I can actually get on one.  Thus my dilemma.

But I digress because I really meant to talk about Vang Vieng.

Vang Vieng is this little town nestled in the most magnificent setting of limestone cliffs on the river.  There is absolutely nothing of interest in the town.  However, some brilliant marketing mind figured out how to utilize the river to best attract the dumbass tourists.  The answer was tubing combined with a lot of drinking (plus whatever other intoxicant you might fancy).  You rent an inner tube and a waterproof pack for your stuff.  You can also rent a life jacket (I saw 1 person wearing one).  Then they pack 10 of you into a tuk tuk and transport you up the river to the starting point wherein you wade over to the river, plop into your tube and take off.  The first bar is about a 5 minute float from the starting point.

I should mention that I was going to pass on tubing.  Then I got friendly with Dan and Lou who I met on the 2 day boat trip to Luang Prabang (half the people I met on that boat trip were also in Vang Vieng).  They went tubing and Lou assured me there was nothing dangerous about it (except for some assinine things people did when trashed beyond recognition and reason).  Since I trusted Dan and Lou and they made it sound like so much fun I hiked over to the tour company where I had signed up for a 1 day tour to the caves (Vang Vieng is also known for the caves in the surrounding hills) and a few villages, and said I would do their tour the day after because I was going tubing.  Then Dan got food poisoning or some other ailment (and lay in bed dying for a day while Lou played nursemaid) and I ended up doing not much of anything the next day.  But Lou and I went out for a great dinner that night. (Dan got crackers.)

The next day I took my tour which was a lot of fun.  Met Anna and John from Australia.  There was one other guy but he was a bit unsocial- spoke only to our guide, Boun.  First we went to the caves.  Let’s just say that no tour company in the US (or any other western country) could take a tour group through caves in this condition.  Nobody could ever get liability insurance for this! (Trust me, I know these things.) Just getting into the caves we climbed up rocks, boulders, ladders places at weird angles consisting of a few boards nailed together with no place to put your hands, with Boun giving instructions like “Put your right hand here and your left foot there” (which would have been okay were I only 3 or 4 inches taller).  Thank God for Anna and the fact that we were a small group.  She helped pull up the rear and the others had no choice but to wait (as opposed to my adventure tour in Australia).  Plus, while Boun never actually offered me a hand when I stood in 1 spot refusing to move, he did in fact give me his hand when I asked.  So I made it. 

The first 2 caves had lots of interesting stalactites and stalagmites and were beautiful.  The third cave, however, was the most fun.  The river runs through it and you have to tube in.  The water was deliciously cold, there were ropes to hoist to get through the beginning part and the whole experience was quite serene.  So now, I was really ready for the tubing experience.

By the next day Dan was ready to rejoin the world of the living (and Lou was ready to do anything besides sitting around and hanging out)  and both were still willing to have me tag along, so off we went. 

To properly understand this experience, I really do recommend you to my photos.  But I will try to explain in words.  We stopped at the first bar (and 4 or 5 others).  As it was only about noon and there were many miles and many bars to go, I started with a diet Coke.  I picked up the pace on the subsequent bars but the bucket of who remembers what made me incapable of getting in or out of the tube without difficulty so that was the end of the alcohol for me.  Of course I was the fuddy duddy.  Everyone else was getting plastered.

In addition to the drinking (and “special menus”) each bar gave out free shots of Lao whisky or some other beverage.  Each bar had food available.  But the main draw is that each bar had some sort of activity- mostly rope swings. (Again, utterly uninsurable.)  You climbed up to this deck and either jumped down or swung out along the rope until the point where you were supposed to let go and jump into the river (at some of the bars this point was crucial since a jump too soon or too late might land you on rocks instead of in the river).  While everyone I saw landed safely, some did not land all that comfortably- you can imagine that a belly flop from that height could be mighty unpleasant and many people had the bruises to prove it.  Nonetheless, it looked like great fun.  Even Lou, who had said she wasn’t going to do this, took a few swings.  I will confirm here what most of you have already suspected- I skipped the rope swings.

There were a few more amusing stories of the day, like how I rubbed a good portion of skin off my arms trying to paddle my tube back to town (I am too short to get any real arm action going on an inflated inner tube and mostly ended up using my hands as paddles), how I was rescued near the end by some 13 year old kid (my guess) who swam and walked me back to town near the end (and then demanded his money), and how I had to cross the rickety little bridge from the point where we reached land (hark back to my fear of bridges).  Actually, I discovered that bridges aren’t that bad at night because I can’t see down below so I’m less scared. But those are the high points.

Next post- Vientiane.  Don’t know where I’ll be posting from, so stay tuned.