The Firestarter.
Most three year olds I’ve met here are poo pooing, sniffling streams of wants and needs. They are straightforward thinkers and seem generally unaware of most things that are beyond their reach and out of their momentary focus. Disguise them in adorable packages and in response, our adult hearts bleed and our dialogues turn to syrupy mush.
I was fairly confident with the dynamics of this relationship until an exceptional toddler walked through the door of STEP school three weeks ago. While we tend to laugh at her behaviour in indirect Chinese fashion, but in my heart of hearts, I shit a sizeable brick everytime I see her.
‘Kelly’s’ mother is a ‘mail-order bride’ from mainland China while her father is Taiwanese. (This arrangement generally occurs within farming communities here.) Apparently she spent her first two years with her grandmother on the mainland in some sort of barbaric arrangement. Images of Tarzanish loinclothes and heads atop spears come to mind. As such, Kelly came to us as an unbroken horse, with the tenacity of a bull and the coniving mind of a weasel. She may be more intelligent than all of our STEP teachers and administration combined. Fortunately for us, we outtrump her in size 4 to 1 and carry a fully stocked first aid kit.
Her bag of (defensive) tricks comprises:
a) The perfected pinch if you take her hand.
b) A look straight into your eyes with a smile on her face as she kicks your shins.
c) The boot to the face/bloody nose if you pick her up and hold her out infront of you.
d) The slap on the face if you dip your head down within arm’s reach.
e) And her piece de resistance, at last resort, is her spectacular jaws-of-steel bite.
I have been privy to a, b, d and e during a power struggle at lunchtime when I attempted to keep her in her chair. And it gets better.
Her bag of (manipulative) tricks comprises:
a) Mocking other students.
b) Mocking other teachers.
c) Pointing at me with evil in her eyes and shouting ‘you, YOU’ in Chinese as to back me into a corner.
d) Glares and faces that are postively adult-like in complexity.
e) And her second piece de resistance, the dramatic ‘dead horse’ fall to the ground if a,b,c, and d don’t work to make you run in the opposite direction. (In response, the staff runs to her and she whips out the a-e defensive tactics.)
Kelly is so fierce that I’ve suggested to the staff that we hire an exorcist. (You should see the reaction to those words in a culture whose primary focus is death, dying, and the afterlife!)
I’ve taken to calling her, from a safe distance, the ‘Firestarter’.
The lesson learned here is loud and clear!
Celibately, Laura.
Tags: Taiwan Living
henney22
Leave a Reply