Getting Stupid
Since I’ve spent the last 20 years connected to China, it intrigues me to follow my mainland Chinese friends who have become immigrants in the U.S. I watch their emotional ups and downs, homesickness, good and bad impressions of Americans, changes in their young children as they become Americanized. Through them, I can also get some idea of how other mainland Chinese they know are faring as immigrants. And so, I was interested when one Chinese friend mentioned the phenomena being talked about in Chinese immigrant circles of “getting stupid.”
“Getting stupid” refers to what happens when mainland Chinese become lulled into a much smoother, easier rhythm of life than they were used to in China. Although there are certainly many challenges for Chinese living in the U. S., the overall effect of daily life over time is to soften the life skills they had developed in the harsher world of China.
As I thought back to the physical and psychological complications of life in China, daily life in China involves continuous problem solving. Chinese are always figuring out both small and big issues, the most important of which is often how to deal with relationships, especially in work situations. It’s a much trickier balance in Chinese culture to cultivate guanxi, the connections that make all the difference in one’s life. Some of that can even require handling bribes, corruption and deceit.
More than one Chinese friend has also mentioned to me how different it is in the U.S. where essentially no one cares what you do compared to the definite expectations of behavior in China where people always notice what you do and judge you for it. Perhaps that’s why Americans are thought to behave childishly and possess a sense of humor that Asia generally lacks.
I’ve been thinking that I’m “getting stupid.” Although I was raised in the American culture, I had a deep desire to travel the world and live in other cultures. Although I had a good life by just about every standard, something was missing. I set out at the age of 40 and lived exuberantly in other cultures, traveling the world for at least the next 15 years. What eventually brought me back to U.S. life was not missing the U.S., but needing to help my aging parents.
I look back upon my nomadic years as the best years of my life. I was sometimes dirty and uncomfortable, clueless as to my next destination, and usually poor, but I was never bored. The challenges never stopped - how to deal with life as a deaf mute since I couldn’t speak or understand the languages, how to find my way from here to there on a very limited budget, how to find jobs, housing, food, medical care, how to decide where I wanted to go next, or go back to. I shared good times and bad with my students. During those years that predated e-mail, I kept frequent letter contact which helped develop deeper relationships with my friends who spanned the world. I felt a sense of accomplishment. They were very intense years, dominated by a passion for exploring new to me places and cultures. I became a sculptor of sorts who could carve out niches for myself wherever I went.
Now, settled safely in my comfort zone in a nice home in a wonderful place, I’m caught in between boredom and contentment. At 65, I don’t have the drive or money to travel much anymore. And unusual places have become much more like everywhere else due to the side effects of globalization.
I miss the intensity and unpredictability of my traveling life. My biggest challenge today is to stay healthy and afloat financially. Not that daily exercise and eating carefully aren’t time consuming; however, they’re not particularly exciting pursuits. I read, have volunteer jobs, and take advantage of many activities in the active retirement community where I live. However, writing and publishing a book in 2006 about my explorations vividly reminded me of my wonder years and I sensed a restlessness stirring within.
Although I have the freedom from responsibility that allows me to do what I wish, I wonder what it is I do want to do. I vacillate from thought to thought, activity to activity, waiting for something to capture my imagination and what’s left of my energy.
I craved change and created it in my life by becoming a world wanderer. During that time, I did more than I ever expected to in my life. Now, I have no idea what to put down on my bucket list. Yes, I understand what “getting stupid” means to Chinese immigrants in the U.S.
Tags: Chinese immigrants in the U.S.; benefits of traveling;, Travel
