From Bmore to BA

You probably won’t see the above headline in the NYT travel section anytime soon. At least not while the supposed travel “articles” focus on little more than bickering about whether the foie gras is better at the 4 Seasons or the Intercontinental. But you’ll find it here, especially now that this past week has seen a few important developments arise regarding my current state of affairs in Buenos Aires:

1) I checked my bank account, and it’s confirmed: I have almost nothing, even by Argentine standards. I knew it all along, but either out of fear (or blessed ignorance) I avoided looking at the balance the past week or two. Which brings me perfectly into the next point:

2) I’ve started teaching english, and this time seriously. I’m now committed to just over 10 hours a week. While I’ve been solicited to teach alot more, for me this is a good start. “10 hours” just reflects the actual time spent teaching – between commuting and preparation, these 10 hours can easily turn into 20. I’ll go into more detail about my English teaching gigs below, but because I want to continue freelance writing (which I’ve been trudging away at for the past 5 weeks), and I have plans to start up a mini-business with a friend of mine (I can’t go into details yet because we’re still waiting for the patent lawyers to get back to us), this 20 hour commitment is ideal.

Also, one of my friends mentioned while he loved my sharp political commentary on US foreign policy and the current state of anti-americanism in Latin America, I should, in the wise words of Bill O’Reilly (warning: link contains racy material not seen since the Monica Lewinsky files) “shut up,” and get on with the interesting stuff.

[read on]

There´s another guy who gets an A in unintentional comedy, and this time it´s not Tyson – it´s Venezuela´s increasingly irritating President, Hugo Chavez. Socialist revolutionary or not, like that itch from Spring Break, he just won´t go away.  A celebrity politician if there ever was one, Chavez comes off as a B-grade Hollywood actor, desperate for headlines and fame, and willing to get them both at any cost. Though, Chavez is as paranoid as he is funny, and he´s currently making serious preparations for war, claiming almost daily now that the U.S. is ready to invade Venezuela, the world´s 4th largest oil exporter. Wartime preparations apparently include the modern practice of having indigenous tribes shoot poison-arrow darts as advancing soldiers, and according to this recent article by the Associated Press, Chavez is quoted as commenting:

¨If (the Indians) had to take a good shot at any invader, you’d be done for in 30 seconds, my dear gringo.”  

There you have it.

While Chavez may or may not be right about U.S. plans to invade Venezuela, what´s for damnnn sure is that the U.S. does have a solid warplan for invading a place much closer to home – a little place called Canada. Read all about “Joint Army and Navy Basic War Plan — Red.¨

 

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