Up the Malay peninsula
I am sitting in an internet cafe at the Thai beach resort of Hua Hin.
We explored the jungle, beaches, tropical fruit farms and tiny fishing villages of Pulau Penang on a motorbike. We went up Penang hill on a train for stunning views of the city. We saw a massive Hindu festival where the Indian lads put spikes through their bodies - eeck! We ate Laksa at 1.5RM and other weird Asian food. We got drunk in a Sailors pub in Central Penang and then headed across the Thai border to Hat Yai in the deep South of Thailand. We went to some excellent Thai discos where we seemed to be the only foreigners.
Onwards to Krabi where the beaches of the Railay peninsula were taken in. This place is inaccessable by road so we took a long-tail boat from Krabi to East Railay and then walked to West Railay from where we took another boat to Ton Sai beach. We slept there and headed to Ao Nang the next morning. All these beaches are fantastic. They are surrounded by limestone karsts and cliffs that thrust bizarrely into the sky. Although they dwarf you they are superb for rock climbing and many people were here to do just that. As a result the place was flooded with fit muscular blokes that left you feeling a little puny. However, the downside of all this was the place was packed with ‘Falang’ (Caucasains) so prices were stupid and rooms were sold out. We got a room eventually at Ton Sai but when we got to Ao Nang - Nada. Ao Nang felt like Benidorm or something - loads of Euro package tourists who haven’t got a clue about the place. Not really my scene.
Next we headed to Phuket, the world renowned holiday island and the jewel in Thailand’s tourism crown. I was more prepared for Phuket as I knew it would be packed, overpriced and about as Thai as Cleethorpes (sunday dinners, fish n chips etc.), and it was, but we endured it for 3 nights. Again we toured the island on a motorbike and spent a night boozing at the Patong beach girlie bars where we took in a really cultural ‘pussy show’. You can imagine what that was about (Fen wanted to see it - not me).
My favourite bit of Thailand so far was 4 days on the quiet Ko Chang island near the Burmese border. We bussed from Phuket to Ranong and took a boat to the island where we stayed in a bamboo hut with no electricity. The shower was a trough where you scoop very cold water over yourself like the olden days. We walked, swam, chilled, ate and witnessed the most breathtaking sunsets every evening on this diminutive island. Sadly we left this little peice of paradise (without building a parking lot) and took the World’s slowest bus to Hua Hin.
Hua Hin is a place where Thai families come to escape Bangkok. I wanted to get a tattoo here (’Global citizen’ in Chinese characters) on my right tatooless arm but the prices were extortionate (falang prices I call them). We found a nice Thai place to eat and then proceeded to get drunk on Chang beer in the bars. Chang beer is lethal man - 6.4%. I can only handle 4 or 5 of these 640ml bottles before my speech etc. is gone. The beaches were packed with fully clothed Thai families enjoying huge picnics under massive umbrellas. Tomorrow we catch a train for Bangkok and the madness of Koh San Road. Thus, another dream of mine: to travel by land from Singapore to Bangkok up the Malay peninsula will be fulfilled.
Hoopba (Thai for shutup)
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