Pattaya and Cambodian chicken farms
I attended the Krathong festival on the Chao Phraya river in Bangkok. Here you buy a small decorative basket of flowers and banana leaves and let it off into the water. It symbolises the release of all bad karmic things - I think. I understand that it means you can start afresh in your life from a blank canvas. The place was packed. There were also hundreds of white lanterns released into the Krungtep (Bangkok) night skies. Quite a beautiful sight - something the tourist people would stick on a ‘Visit Thailand’ TV commercial with the obligatory sexy people smiling.
After a further 5 nights in Bangkok I got off my fat arse and headed to Pattaya on Monday 17th November. I took the #2 shite bus from Khao San Road to Ekemai bus station in the east of the city. I noticed that nobody seemed to be paying the fare so I asked, in Thai, what was going on. Not only did the person not understand my amateurish Thai, I had no idea what she said back to me. So as we arrived at Emekai (a fact established by me shouting ‘Teenee Ekemai chai mai?’) I asked the conductor lady “Geebaht?”. To my astonishment she said the fare was free! Dumbfounded I thanked her and left the bus scratching my head.
After idle procrastination (it really is the thief of time) with Armin, we concluded it was because of the anniversary of the Princess of Thailands death. Could be wrong though. We aren’t 100%. It does show that some things are free in Thailand! A thing no Falang thought possible. An 8baht saving - cool eh?
I then caught the 2hr bus to Pattaya, ate some noodle soup and walked about 1hr to Armin’s digs. I found his room and gave him a knock. It was great to see him again after last seeing him on the Perhentian Islands 3 months previously. He helped me find cheap digs and we met up later for another tour of Pattaya’s craziness. I have now seen most of what is on offer in the World’s sex capital.
On my 35th birthday (19th Nov) we sat in my cheap hostel boozing all afternoon before heading down to the beach in the evening. We drank beer among the freelance sex workers (is that the right PC term these days?) and I even danced with a crazy Armenian performer. He had long hair and was playing a tamborine and chanting some shite, dressed in a nappy! I was laughing and joined in. Smiling, he handed me a second tamborine and we became a double-act! The sizeable audience was laughing too. We both jumped around like daft twats chanting and shaking tamborines while his tips increased. Diasappointedly, once our performance had climaxed, he was reluctant to share his tips with me. He did say “Happy birthday” though so I suppose that is a bonus!
I saw Soi 6, 7 and 8 beer bars and the Walking Street gogo bars again. Awesome! Can’t really say much more about my second visit to Pattaya except little had changed since my last visit. I wouldn’t recommend Westerners to come here looking for love/wives. Why? Well, for example, I saw one naked beautiful woman wrapped around a chrome dance pole with a gorgeous tattoo just above her delightful arse. What did it say? Well in that ye olde English kind of script it said, rather elegantly, ’FUCK AND FORGET’. Class or what? Armin and I think this should be Pattaya’s slogan!
After 4 nights there and after coming to terms with being a scary 35yrs old we had to leave Thailand for visa reasons. Where to go? Well, Cambodia is the closest foreign country so we went there. We woke at 0500 Friday morning and caught a 5hr bus southeast to Trat. We then jumped a 1hr minivan to Hat Lek, the last Thai town on the Cambodian frontier. We exited Thailand and walked to Cambodia. Here all the pests start hassling you endlessly. A regular guy asked for my passport and I though ‘Who the hell are you like’? I gave him it and he started completing my immigration card. I bumped him out of the way and finished it myself since he would have wanted a tip for that - remember nothing is free in Asia (except some weird buses - sometimes). The same jokers then tried to con us for the 10km journey into Ko Kong, the closest Cambodian town. We didn’t get stung here since Armin’s excellent Khmer language skills prevailed. This is my second foray into Cambodia, the last been Mar ‘07.
I also used up the last remaining blank page of my passport. I am still OK for a while provided I don’t go to countries that use a whole page for visas. That leaves me with Thailand, Malaysia and Philippines until their stamps fill the remaining available space. Then I will be forced to buy a new passport - bollicks. Probably cost 200gbp these days knowing the UK govt.
Armin is quite a guy. I call him ‘Mr South East Asia’ since he can speak most of the lingo in most of the countries. His Thai is virtually fluent and he makes an excellent laid-back, great-laugh travel companion. I have thoroughly enjoyed my week with him. He likes to stay in nicer digs than me so we found separate accom and then ate and relaxed in Ko Kong.
As night came we decided we would visit a Ko Kong institution - The Chicken Farm. About 1-2km out of town is one of the strangest things I have ever seen. We arrived by moto to a group of humble minging shacks in pitch black. The driver stopped, indicating we were there. Where? we asked. What the hell is this place. We walked around and were quickly set upon by crazy prostitutes. I was naively expecting some kind of chicken farm but I think that name is a euphemism for whorehouses. We had a beer with the non-English speaking beauties then headed home. The rooms available for copulation would be graded minus-5-star in the hotel comparison charts. The girls flicked on the only light we could see and we were besieged by plagues of insects. Quite an interesting experience the old chicken farm. However, my description does not even come close to giving the place justice. It is better to see with your own eyes. I wish I’d had a camera.
The next morning we purchased tickets for the 0730 Ko Kong - Sihanoukville bus. We made good progress across the newly built road and four bridges (I wonder which foreign government payed for it?). However, as we arrived at a junction about 140km west of Phnom Penh and about 90km north east Sihanoukville, we turned left (east) towards Phnom Penh. Armin and I were wondering if they had forgotten we were going to SNV but they hadn’t. About 1hr or 40km later the bus stopped and told us we had to change buses. We told them to bollicks since we were now closer to PP (100km) than SNV(130km). This would require a pointless 1hr (40km) double-back journey! Crazy! We queried why they couldn’t do the bus exchange at the actual junction but they looked at us like we were mad! Asians in developing countries can be fantastically thick! If we’d gone to SNV our journey would have been 80km and 2hrs longer then it would have needed to be?????????????????????
Anyway, we stayed on the bus and that’s how I currently find myself sitting in an internet cafe in Phnom Penh. Last night I watched the sunset over Boeng Kak lake, the place I stayed the last time. I then went to a bar and watched NUFC scrape a draw against league leaders Chelsea. Not bad but the gap in quality is evident. We are a long way from top four quality!
I have checked out my bank and some news today and was amazed to see the UK base interest rate at 3%. It was 6.5% a couple of months ago. WTF is going on? Also 1gbp = 1.5usd! This was 1gbp=2usd a couple of months ago. Since I rely on savings, I prefer higher interest rates. I am buggered since this is not the case. My income has halved in 3 months! Compounding this is the gbp slide against every currency in the world. 1gbp = 1.18euro?????? WTF?
Ket Loi = How much
Or Gun = Thank you
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