Day 780, ships and gays
I am sitting in Angeles City just off the infamous Fields Avenue where all the Pattaya-style-action is going on. It’s now dusk and you can sense the atmosphere building. There’s a tangible feeling of hedonism here. More on this later.
I woke early yesterday morning and walked from Downtown Cebu to pier 4 to meet my Manila bound ferry. I was happy to see I was going to be cruising on a ‘Superferry’ which is run by a different company from the bunch who ran ’MV Princess of the stars’ which tragically sank last month on the same route. After the extensive security checks I finally boarded and found my bed along with something like 2000 other passengers.
Since I am a cheapskate and only had an economy ticket I found myself in a huge Auschwitz style dormitory cabin. There must have been 500 people squeezed into the bedspaces here. I plonked my bag then set about exploring the ship. I settled myself down in a quiet spot on the top port deck. Next, just North of Cebu Island, a large school of dolphins gave an aquatic version of a gymnastics display, jumping clean out of the water in simultaneous waves. It looked amazing against the backdrop of a tropical blue ocean.
A little later, around sunset, a huge electrical storm had brewed to the West over Panay Island. These phenomena look very different from a nautical perspective. I remember this from my days on a frigate. The colours and sense of foreboding are more vivid. Mirrored only by a steel grey sea. The bolts of lightning looked like they were from some kind of omnipotent being toying with us. The bolts seemed to rattle the Earth as they fought for a path down to the strata with unimaginable fury. The noise and light was fantastic, frightful yet beautiful. I sat watching this in an awestruck daze.
We were sailing through a labyrinth of islands (7107 islands constitute the Philippines). I was trying to guess the name of some of these islands but it was an exercise in futility. I studied my inadequate map of the Philippines without success. Asking clueless locals was like pissing against the wind. One of them suggested Mindanao which is to the South and we were clearly heading North! Anyway, I went to the reception and requested a visit to the bridge to try and get my bearings. The Captain accepted and up I went. I really enjoyed this. I was up there for 1 hour! Their bridge was about 4 times the size of HMS Coventry’s. They were not using an echo sounder which I found a little disturbing. They had an electronic charting system from Norway which looked really cool. It was still backed up by a manual one………just incase! They even let me play with the radar and chart displays after a while (under the close scrutiny of the Officer of the Watch of course). It was great. I established our course and even did some steering. It was a great buzz. I was constantly answering submarine questions all the while. It was a very cool afternoon and I felt very privileged.
The course we took (for any geographical geeks (like me) out there) is as follows: South out of Cebu port. Swing around North skirting Eastern Mactan Island. Continue North up the East side of Cebu Island before reaching the Northern tip. Turn to port cutting between Cebu and Malapascua. Continue on heading 310 cutting through Masbate and Panay. Sail right through the Romblon Islands before again heading Westwards as you pass between Mindoro and Luzon. Turn North again towards Manila. There…….piece of piss!
I noticed the keel depth was 6.2m and although the seas around the Philippines are very shallow (since we are still on the Asian continental shelf) I was relieved, after further chart studies, that the rest of our voyage was in deep enough waters. The best bit for me was trying to spot small fishing vessels (bancas) and islands that the radar had detected but the naked eye could not see. I stood with massive binoculars searching for these illusive objects.
After queuing for 1hr for some free shit scran that wouldn’t feed a gecko I decided to hit the sack. I read my current book ‘The hunt for Red October’ with renewed vigour. As I finally tried to close my eyes I realised I was falling foul of a Philippine quirk. This country has a very high birth rate, particularly by Western standards. This birth rate is exacerbated by the Catholic church and their condom policy. I view it more as a ‘keep the poor poor’ policy but that’s another topic for another day. Last night I was reaping the benefits of this crazy baby boom when hundreds of the little shits cried all night. It was like trying to sleep in a pediatrics ward.
That’s another thing out here. In the West we have ‘Family planning’. Locals here joke that they only have ‘Family planting’ haha. It is true. I have verified it. Any woman under 20 who is not pregnant or has no kids is basically a freak. They typically have a full complement of 3-8 kids before they are old enough to tie their laces. I tell people here that I have 5 brothers and they laugh in my face. 7-10 siblings is more normal!
I enjoyed my voyage and was somewhat disappointed that it was over. I really am yearning to work at sea again (but in a civilian capacity). I alighted and headed to Malate where Don had left my ruksack in the Malate pension on Adriatico Street. After a little negotiation (Don had the receipt - not me) I got my bag. I headed to EDSA Pasay using two jeeps. The jeepneys in Manila are very confusing. I was determined to do it though since a jeep journey is 8piso whereas a taxi journey can be anything the taxi drivers reckon you can afford to part with (which can get ludicrous if you happen to be caucasion). I successfully got to the ‘Victory Liner’ bus depot and bought a ticket to Dau (pronounced Daa oo) next to Angeles. The ride up here was on what must be this country’s best road - a 4 lane smooth highway - wow. We blasted up here in no time. You could see the volcanoes Mt Ayarat to the East and Mt Pinatubo to the West - quite spectacular. Mt Pinatubo last blew in 1991 with devastaing effect, so it wasn’t without some trepidation that I gazed up at this volatile behemoth.
I walked for miles trying to secure some budget accommodation. Eventually I managed it. I then showered, shaved, sorted my clothes, updated my diary, had some scran, did this blog and now……………….I am going to have a few beers and look at some lasses. Don said he would arrive here Friday and I can’t wait because it is not the same perving on one’s own. The bars are called things like Dollhouse, Angelwitch etc etc. This afternoon on my seemingly fruitless search, there was about 10 sexy lasses all dressed as air-stewardesses trying to tempt you in for a beer! DOWN BOY.
However, like Pattaya, there are hundreds of fat, old, ugly BUT rich white blokes here. Perhaps the women tolerate these old codgers hoping they will soon pass away with a heart attack during a particularly amourous love making session. They have probably already decided what the spouses pension will be spent on.
For some reason, this last couple of months I have been attracting a lot of unwanted gay attention. I am struggling with theories on this as I am clearly NOT gay! I reckon it is because the Philippines has so many that there aren’t enough to go around. Don reckons it is my attire. He could have a point. Recently, I have become strangely drawn to wearing ridiculous Hawaii shirts buttoned half way up. This coupled with the shell necklace I was given for been on the maiden Kaohsuing-Manila flight probably does make me look a little camp. I thought I looked more like a Miami Vice dude? Perhaps it is time for a wardrobe change. Perhaps them tossas off ‘What not to wear’ can de-camp me?
Anyway, I am definitely straight. As tonight will prove……….but now I am being too defensive. I am trying to over-compensate my straightness in order to show that I am not gay. Aaaaaahhhhhhh shit. Bollicks.
Got to dash - I am off to the Blue Oyster Bar……………..shit………….no…………I mean the football - hehe.
Ba a lam
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