AWOL Geordie - Steve’s global adventure

Well, today is Wednesday 13th June 2007. I left Newcastle at 0500 on Monday 12th June 2006. 1 year - blimey! Following is a rambling list of musings about the last year of my life:

I have been to the Shetlands, Faroes, Iceland, Denmark, Sweden, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Russia, Mongolia, China, Japan, Korea, China, Thailand, Tibet, Hong Kong, Philippines, Singapore, Malaysia, Borneo, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos and back to Thailand again. Next stop is Burma.

When I look at a map of the World I find it hard to believe I have seen all these places. I have visited almost 50 countries now. I was checking out my online bank recently to see how much I have spent since I left home. I was amazed to see that I have spent only 6000gbp in 1 year. That is about 500gbp/month. My mortgage in Rothbury was more than that! 6000gbp wouldn’t buy you a new car in England. Admittedly, I spent about 2000gbp before I left home on vaccines, visas, travel insurance, ferry tickets and the trans-siberian trip. So about 8000gbp in all to travel the World for 1 year - not too bad eh?

I learnt to speak rudimentry Chinese and a little basic Thai. I got a tattoo in Bangkok and a tooth filling in Khorat. I have eating brains, intestines, insects, balls, dog, duck’s tongue, bizzare jungle fruits, alcoholic horse milk, snake and goat-penis wine, marijuana pizza, magic mushroom milkshake and all manner of other strange and crazy food. I have forgotten what a cheese sandwich tastes like. I have been attacked by wild dogs and monkeys. I have slept in a tent, on the street, in  electric-free bamboo huts, hotels, churches, trains, ‘ger’ camps, ships, jungles and beaches. I have cruised down the Yangtze and Mekong rivers. Hiked in Tibet while experiencing altitude sickness. Got body searched in Japan as a drug trafficking suspect. Seen Red Square, Tianemen Square, Siberia, the Great Wall, Angkor Wat and many other things of World fame. I have been drunk with Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jews and Buddhists. Met people of every race and creed

The highlights are too many to mention but if I had to choose I would say Iceland, Mongolia, Japan are amazing places to visit. The Borneo jungle and the tribal village in Vietnam were pretty special too, as was my time at the farm in China. The one place I would not recommend visiting is Russia - shite! The typhoon in the Philippines was an awesome demonstration of nature’s savage power. Helping to butcher a pig in Vietnam was an unusual activity and horse riding through the Mongolian wilderness was incredible.

I have traveled by tuk-tuk, songthaew, jeepney, minibus, motorbike, cycle, tryclo, many kinds of boat and ship, canal boat, train, plane, taxi. The fastest mag-lev train in the World. I have been hungry and dirty. I lost a toe-nail in Kuching. Injured my knee playing football in Mui Ne. All in all a pretty amazing year.

Recently in Mae Hong Son I went by my motorbike to a small village on the Burmese border called Rak Thai. This place is populated by anti-communist Chinese fighters from the days of Mao Tze Dung. Again, I had a chance to try my Mandarin. I was offered free tea to drink while chatting to these people. I was so close to Myanmar that I decided to walk to the border. I followed a jungle track for about 2km and came across a tatty fence with a gate. This was the border although there was no indication - no guards, flags or immigration. I passed through and eventually reached a small village. Bewildered locals stared at me as I tried to establish which country I was in. After much confusion I managed to ascertain I was inside Burma. The way I could tell was that an old village man approached me covered from head to toe in tattoos. On closer inspection the tats were all in Burmese script which is distinct from Thai script. I thought this is a little dodgy as Burma is run by a military junta and here I am illegally hanging around in a village. I promptly made my way back to the sanctuary of Thailand.

I also went to a village called Ban Noi Sai which is inhabited by the ‘Karen’ tribe people. The women here stretch their necks by placing brass rings around it from an early age. Really strange! However, I wasn’t allowed inside because as I was walking into the village a young lass asked me for a ticket. I was thinking ‘What to walk through a village?’ They wanted 250baht - about 4gbp and I thought ‘bollicks to that’. I didnt even have that much money on me. I reckon Pegswood could operate the same policy by charging Morpeth folk 4gbp to enter the village and see the curiosities within!

I drove to Mae Sariang and spent a quiet couple of days finishing my book relaxing by the riverside. On the way there I ran out of petrol - nightmare trying to sort that out. I then headed back to Chiang Mai to return the bike. I ended up getting drunk with Tommy, the 85yr old Geordie bloke for a couple of nights celebrating my annivesary. I am now heading to the bus station to purchase a ticket for Khon Kean tomorrow. I fancy going there instead of Sukhothai as it is deep in Isaan province and I am simply curious to see it.

Nig noi nam (Thai for small water)

Gway tio mu (pork noodle soup)

In Chiang Rai I ended up on a ludicrous drinking binge. It was only after sleeping on the street for 2 nights that I thought ‘enough is enough’ and vowed to have a break from smoking/drinking. I hired a bike and drove up to Mae Sai, Thailand’s most Northerly town on the Burmese border. I strolled around the markets feasting on local delights and observing the many races that seemed to fill this town. Local women had some kind of white paint smeared all over their faces. I never got to the bottom of that.

Next I headed to Mae Se Long which is an Aka tribal village in the middle of the mountains NW of Chiang Rai. It was an amazing hilly and windy ride out here. This place has a very Chinese feel to it. The Aka people originally came to Thailand from Yunnan province in China and you can see that they resemble the Chinese more than the Thai people. I had a laugh with 3 Aka girls selling tribal bollicks. 

They say: “Helllooooo hansum man, you buy from me?” 

I laugh “Na ge piaulian, wo meiyou chien” (It’s beautiful but I have no money). 

They invite me to sit with them amazed that a Farang (especially an Englishman) can speak another language. Before long there are loads of men and kids surrounding us and a real good few hours ensued. I ended up staying there for the night hanging out with these intriguing folk. The women wore really dazzling traditional clothing and I was fascinated to hear their tales. I drove up to a mountain peak housing yet another highly glamorous Buddhist temple. I headed back to Chiang Rai and decided to test out my no drinking/smoking policy by going to a local trendy nightclub beneath a posh Hotel. I passed with flying colours despite the peer pressure from the drinking lads.

I went to Chiang Mai where I had previously spent one month in October. I walked around some old familiar territory and attended a famous disco called ‘Spicy’. Again I didn’t drink or smoke which was quite a feat, giving the three Danes shoving full bottles of Chang and tabs in front of me every five minutes. I met Charlie, an old mate from Hull who I first met in Kunming. He runs a bar in Jinghong with his lass Lena who is 8 months pregnant. He was in Chiang Mai to renew his Chinese visa and he is no less mental now than he was back in September.

I met my first bonafide Geordie last week. I went to a bar looking to hire a moto for 1 week. I was talking to this bloke and on further questioning he was an 85yr old gadgie from the Toon – Wahey – my first Geordie! However, he has lievd away for years and has only trace elements of his accent remaining.

Nevermind though, you know what they say “You wait all day for a bus and then 2 come along at once”. Indeed, this is the perfect cliché to express what happened the evry next day. I had biked about 135km from Chiang Mai to Pai when I thought an afternoon swim was in order. I noticed a massive lump on my back and I asked this lad to have a look. The bloke said I had a huge insect bite. I thought his accent sounded familiar and it turns out he is a 23yr old from Fenham going by the name of Mick. Wahey – 2 Geordies in 2 days after a whole year of none!

Pai is an up and coming destination but presently still full of hippy types. I met Vinnie from Ireland here. I saw him in February, he was one of the clinic boys. In fact he is the musician/boxer bloke. He has been in Pai for 3 months and seems to have become a permanent feature there. He invited me to his old Thai mates home where they all took turns playing instruments going from Irish music to Thai music. It was great crack.

I slept in a wooden hut with a mattress for 1gbp/night right next to the Pai river. I bought ‘Kane and Abel’ by Geoffrey Archer and lounged by the jungle river, reading all day and eating sumptuous tropical fruit from the local market – luxury. I kept thinking ‘Christ Steve, you could be sitting in some crappy job in the UK right now!’ I felt very lucky.

Today, I drove from Pai to Mae Hong Son. I bought an Army jacket for 1gbp as it is cold when it rains here (especially on the bike) and it happens to be right smack bang in the middle of the rainy season.

I procured my flight from BKK to Yangon, Burma for 35gbp on the 20^th June. I plan to visit Mae Saring, Chiang Mai, Sukhothai and Bangkok before leaving for Burma. I have also started applying for teaching jobs in Taiwan as I fancy a short break from traveling. Hope you are all well.

Aloy mac mac (Thai for ‘my dinner was lush’)