Bird’s nests, fireworks artillery and nightmares
If you manage to remain on the mortal coil for 70 years, then 1 year is approx 1.5% of your life. I was thinking of this last night as I was slipping in and out of a nightmare. Briefly, I was still in the Navy and the Police somehow discovered loads of heroine/cocaine hidden in my suitcase. Obviously, this is a nightmare, so I am innocent. Nonetheless, I was convicted and sentenced to 25 years in military prison despite my mitigation and impeccable character. That sentence equates to almost 40% of your life. I was surprised to learn I have spent 15% of my life in the RN including 3% of my life underwater! I have only been travelling for about 3% of my life. My conclusion this morning, once my fuzzy head cleared, is that I need to do more exploring.
Weight update: 71kg. When I left England 623 days ago I weighed 75kg. Since then I have fluctuated between 65 - 72kg. I remain a little underweight but it is quite difficult to maintain a healthy weight as the food is constantly changing, water can be dodgy, different climates and environments add to the instability. Additionally, when you throw beer into the equation………well……..I hardly eat owt.
I know my weight because I was at Taiwan Hospital yesterday kickstarting my residency visa application process again. They checked my blood, eyes, height, weight, blood pressure etc… and even did an x-ray of my chest. It was cheaper than the last time I did it in Taipei because this is the sticks - far from the capital, and as you all know, everything is cheaper in the sticks. Reminds me of driving up the line between Pompey and home. Pizza prices were a good indicator of how far North you were.
This time last year I was in Bangkok getting tatooed and drinking with a Burmese T-shirt seller, an Aussie alcky, an Irish boxer/musician, Jo-Jo the Thai ladyboy and Michael the smack addict. Today I am in a somewhat different position - respectfully dressed studying Chinese! Apart from Taiwan, where I had a job, the last 3 weeks in Manila matches Phnom Penh for the longest time spent in one place. It is bizarre how Manila and Phnom Penh are the places I have stayed the longest as they are far from the best places I have visited. More to do with the company, I reckon, than the place itself.
So I am back to normal life here in Tainan County. I have worked for 3 nights. Two days ago I removed a bird’s nest from the cooker extractor fan outlet. This involved perching myself on the window sill of a second floor window and contorting myself in order to reach into the outlet ducting and extricate the nest. However, this was no ordinary nest. The old dried grass and feathers just kept coming and coming. All the while I was worried about something (like a snake) biting my fingers as I was rummaging blind. I cleared as far as my arm could reach only to discover it was still blocked. I returned indoors and detatched the inside ducting and was agape to find the nest going a further meter up the ducting and into the house. I removed this too and the entire removed nest filled a binbag! I dont think this fan had been used in years man! A binbag worth of nest rammed up the ducting?
Top travel dit eh?
After that I went to work and then we went to a Lantern Festival:
I saw something like this in Thailand but here the lanterns (like minature hot-air balloons) are red as opposed to white. In Taiwan the people attach notes to the lanterns detailing their wishes. The fire is lit and the lantern is released upwards towards the heavens where, hopefully, their dreams are realised. It looks pretty spectacular. There was also a fireworks display that went full-pelt for 4 hrs. This must have cost a fortune. It was incredible. The most unusual part though was at a place where what I thought was a scaffold viewing platform had been erected. However, this was no viewing platform. It was a place where fireworks are deliberately aimed and young nutters can stand in the way. It was mental watching these people standing in the way of a barrage of firework firepower. It was like a scene from the blitz or something!
All in all, a pretty good way to start my 3rd visit to Taiwan.
Jia oh! (literally ‘add fuel’) - Go on!
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