What is going on?!?
Somebody pinch me as I think I am dreaming. Actually it is more like a nightmare.
Having recently returned to the UK after 5 years in the US and a 5 month trip around the South Pacific, I am on the hunt for some contract or temporary work to keep me afloat while I pursue my other interests and goals.
The first stumbling block when I got home was getting a bank account sorted. This proved extremely difficult even though for most of my life I have had UK bank accounts. I did manage to secure accounts with HSBC and a nice little cash account with Lloyds TSB so that hurdle was overcome.
Next up was the Job Centre to apply for Jobseekers Allowance. For those who have never been in the unenviable position of being unemployed or those outside the UK this is basically an amount of money that you can get from the government to aid living expenses while you are seeking employment. It is not income support, which is money you get for having 12 kids and living in a council flat.
So, after filling out many interesting forms at the job centre alongside the worst of humanity I sat back and duly waited the 2 weeks they said it would take to process my application for JSA. After this period I actually had to go in to sign on at the job centre and enquired about my claim as I had not heard back from them. I was told the claim was pending and being seen by a decision maker. I was given a number to call in a weeks time to see what was happening.
I called this number yesterday and was told the decision maker had still not made a decision but they would mark it urgent and that I should call in a weeks time.
Today I open my mail and receive the decision…
“Dear Mr Stephen Davis,
The decision making officer has decided that we cannot allow your claim for Jobseekers Allowance. This is because you are not habitually resident in the UK for benefit purposes. In order for a person to be habitually resident, an appreciable period of time of actual residence, and not merely a settled intention to reside, is necessary.”
When I picked my jaw up off the floor I decided to call and find out what this all means as what they wrote does not make sense to me and I have a pretty good understanding of the English language. I am waiting for a call back because surprise surprise they can not locate my file at the moment.
My contingency plan is to fly to Paris, get the train to Calais, wait in line with all the other asylum seekers waiting to gain illegal entry to the UK in the back of trucks driven by drivers bribed by the Polish Mafia and maybe THEN I will be allowed to claim some money from the government!
Tags: Post-Trip
