The Road Not Taken

Today I spent my birthday on a bus from Queenstown to Franz Josef. Not the best way to spend the day but it was my fault for booking the trip! So no real stories to tell on this special day so I will just ramble on about something else…

Riding on the Intercity bus today listening to my iPod, which thankfully lasted all the way due to some charge left in the battery, I spent some time in deep thought. Some would say I was asleep but I prefer the deep thought idea.

I was pondering on the fact that I am still wandering and not settled. I do wish to be settled but am not and as every year passes it makes me wonder where it will all end. Back in Queenstown a dutch traveller thought I was 25 when I mentioned my upcoming birthday! I do not look old so does my psyche reflect that? Do I yearn for a perfect relationship or just a normal one that makes me feel perfect?

I guess it is different for everyone. Yet I am still searching for a worthy job. By worthy I mean one that is worthy of me. Something I can put heart and soul into. This, among other things has alluded me for 36 years.

Lets not be down on the situation. I am in many ways luckier than a huge number of other less fortunate souls on this planet and I do like to remind myself of that fact when I feel a little melancholy.

So what happens next? Do I keep on trying something new in an attempt to stumble upon what I need, what I want, what I desire? Is some form of plan not in order? Plan!! Plan!!!!!! Good god the word itself makes me quake in my boots. I can hardly bring myself to plan one day in advance over here let alone figure out a five year plan. I have always been this way, or so it seems.

I recently spoke to a fairly obnoxious woman from New York who told me that even though I spent time in NY state, that I was not really in NY at all. If you were not from Manhatten then you could not call yourself a New Yorker was her claim. It is at this point I forgot what my point was so I will move onto something else :0)….(red wine, don’t you love it!) ah, yes ….it was more or less along the lines of…..what an attitude to have when travelling! Surely a traveller, a globe trotter would not have such a narrow minded view. Yet I meet many folks on the road who travel for different reasons.

Many people are having a gap year or have a 1 year working visa, some are away for 9 months or more and some for a month or so. Most seem intent on drinking like fishes the whole time, something you can do anywhere in the world, they behave exactly the same as they would do at home. Now this is what seems to get under my skin. I personally find many British people the worst when it comes to travellers. I won’t tar everyone with the same brush and add a disclaimer that is is in my experience that Brits are a pain in the arse abroad. I have met many europeans here who are nice people. I have met some great Irish folks but good lord where are the good British people?!

Excuse the random changes in ideas but they are just coming out and the spongy keyboard here at the Montrose Hostel is helping to get the nonsense out very quickly indeed.

I guess certain aspects of travel have me a little down of late. I am tiring of hostel life again, tiring of casual conversations about how long I am here for, how long I have left etc etc blah blah blah….yes it comes with the territory but I am not good at small talk at the best of times prefering the times when you meet people who just want a good old laugh.

My mood will improve tomorrow as I rise and head for Greymouth. Now Greymouth is nothing to write home about mind you but I did have an interesting Friday night out there once upon a time.

Back to why people travel…

Thinking of why I am here again leaves me a little non plussed. I often think of the activities I am missing out on and places I am missing out on but hang on a minute what am I chasing here? Am I chasing these things to replace what I do not have? Am I travelling to stem the tide of going back to doing something I do not like? I would have to say yes to these self posed questions.

With that in mind I tend not to want to dwell on the good the bad and the ugly of travelling and just get on with it and take it at face value. After all, isn’t that what we do every day of our regular lives?

Epilogue…

I am happy to be on the road, truly I am. Who cares why I am here. I am here and that is that. Tomorrow I may not be here, I may be there instead. What was that about Robert Frost?…taking the road less travelled and all that…

Christmas is coming and I will embrace this holiday whole heartedly. I will be with relatives near Sydney so I expect a sunny Christmas morning. Sorry I will not be able to hand out gifts this year. Please accept my warmest holiday greetings instead and the next time I meet you all I will give you a big hug…and maybe a card… :0).

Tags: New Zealand

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 5th, 2004 at 8:22 am and is filed under New Zealand. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.