The Road Not Taken

I saw a trailer for a movie a while back, an Adam Sandler movie I think it was. The concept was that this guy had the ability to fast forward his life like a VCR in order to get past the hard parts or boring bits of his life. I am sure we can all see the humorous escapades that surely ensue in the movie along with the Hollywood moral of the story type ending which no doubt tells us that life has to have hard and dull times for us to enjoy the good times. I say bollox.

I would love to be able to fast forward the shitty parts of my life. Actually, aside from the really trying times that I would have loved to be able to fast forward past, the one that immediately springs to mind is weddings. They are so predictable I often find myself counting down the minutes until a particularly steroytypical event takes place at any wedding you attend.

They all begin with the awkward hanging about at the church with everyone in their best bib and tucker. Knowing nods from ten feet away to people you vaguely know and don’t really want to know, gentle chatter as the women get their mouths in the gear for the day and the guys talk sport or swap a recent joke or two, most of which are old, not funny or both. The wedding services are all the same no matter how much the bride and groom have told you that they have shortened the ceremony for those not of a religious persuasion then it’s outside where more chatting ensues along with a cheery send off for the B&G as they settle into their open top Rolls Royce for the ten minute journey to the reception.

Now here is really where the fast forward button would come in handy. From here on until about 2am I am bored senseless waiting for everyone to let the alcohol loosen them up to the point where people will talk to you just because they haven’t spoken to you at all and wonder who the hell you are. The bad raucous dancing takes place along with the awful wedding music. There is sometimes a saving grace in the form of someone who hates the predictable nature of these events as much as you or often just a knowing glance from one of the waiters or bartenders who must hate these events more than anybody.

I have been to the odd wedding which breaks the mold and is very different and fun to attend. But they are few and far between. So forgive me when I flinch at the sight of a wedding invitation as it pops through the letterbox and lands somewhat obnoxiously on the floor in my hallway. I am glad someone is getting married but for pitys sake do I have to attend the wedding?!

I find myself in the same position I have always been in. I have no direction. I have many things I want do do, to try, to achieve. Yet I rarely move in the direction of any of these, at least no more than thinking about them and perhaps edging a little closer to actually doing something.

This inactivity takes the form of procrastination. However, it has a deeper explanation.

To take a step closer to any goal or desire means to let go and move away from the many other goals. Nay not so, I hear you cry. Why, you can do so many things all at the same time. Perhaps this is true, yet for me, I need to focus on one thing at a time and that in itself takes time. So for me, to actually do anything means to leave behind the opportunity of doing everything else.

I am sure this is an easy fix for a life coach but trust me, it probably affects more people than you think. Mid life crises spring to mind. It is classic and corny at the same time but I don’t think these are crises at all. I think they are a fight against making a choice to do one thing or be one thing or even two things. An actor and a waiter, a teacher and a mother, a writer and a therapist. Why can’t we be all of those and more?

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