Letter From An Expat With Another View of Mexico
My Mexican-American friend moved to Mexico a few years ago while working on her husband’s papers to legalize him to work in the States…which is taking a lot of time. This was her recent email:
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL, Vol. VII
Now, I know Why They Jump The Wall…I Wanna Jump The Wall
And – Yes – We – Are – Still – Here
I was just telling a friend, back in the States, how waking up here I will sometimes think to myself, as I take in my surroundings, “shit, I’m still here.” You know those mornings, where as soon as you open your eyes, you say to yourself, “man, it sucks to be me.” Well, yesterday was definitely one of those days. And, unfortunately not just for myself, but also for quite a number of people in my husband’s family, namely my mom-in-law.
My husband’s brother called us about 10 a.m. He was frantic. Evidently, Josefina had just gotten a phone call stating that my husband had been kidnapped and they were demanding a ransom of $50,000 Pesos, or they were going to kill him! They put some guy on the phone who told my mother-in-law he was her son. She asked him, “son, where are you?” This same fucking bastard responded, SOBBING, “Mother, I can’t tell you because I’m bound and they have my eyes covered.” The so-called kidnapper got back on the phone, and she informed him that she didn’t have $50,000 Pesos. The caller told her that if she didn’t pay the money they would murder her son. She simply stated that would be on his conscience, and that she didn’t have that kind of money and there was nothing she could do. He asked her again if she were going to pay the ransom. She repeated her response to his demand. He finally yelled at her that she was a fucking bitch and hung up!
In her hysteria she couldn’t recall our phone numbers. She ended up calling her eldest son. He spoke with his mother and calmed her down as best he could.
My husband is the youngest of three sons. He has been back home here in Mexico for almost three years after an absence of almost 11. When we first got here, in February 2006, the first thing his mother said was that she couldn’t believe her eyes that her baby was home. She said that she never expected to see him again. They speak or see one another on a daily basis.
My mother-in-law is 75-years-old, in failing health, and lives alone. We live minutes from her house, but she had no idea that this was not true at that moment in time. Put yourself in her place. Can you even imagine getting such a phone call about a loved one, and all that you would feel, think, experience? I can’t imagine. I don’t even want to.
My husband spoke with the police and they say that it is a local and national epidemic: Secuestros Telefonicos. Translation: Telephone Kidnappings. They usually originate in prisons in the neighboring state of Mexico, in and around Mexico City. Our very own landlord’s mother just two weeks ago received a phone call from someone stating that they had kidnapped one of her sons. All of her children are adults living on their own. She deposited $15,000 Pesos in ransom money into a bank account that she was directed to, which of course was under a phony name. Thankfully all of her children were eventually accounted for and found to be safe, and the kidnapping to be bogus. We’re told that she and one of her daughters are showing signs of extreme mental trauma.
Last week we had another close encounter with Mexican Life and Logic: My husband was driving our car when Federal Police stopped him. I was at home. The car is in both of our names, and has a tourist permit so that it can be driven legally here in Mexico. The police officer said my husband didn’t have a legal right to drive the vehicle because he is not a legal U.S. resident and/or citizen. (It’s situations like these that remind me of that SNL sketch where they would say, during irrational moments, “God give me cancer…”) My husband’s response was, “yes, I know I’m not a legal U.S. resident, that’s why I’m in my own country, in my own car.” I asked him to please let me speak with the officer. The officer said that he wasn’t going to take him to jail nor impound the car, even though he was within his right to do so, but that he was taking him and the car to Hacienda (same crazy equivalent as IRS) to pay a hefty fine. I was still trying to figure out why he stopped him in the first place…could it be the world famous “Mordida?” He wasn’t speeding and was in the middle of a long line of traffic. My husband and I have already agreed not to pay any bribes under any circumstances. Not always so easy to adhere to. Here. The officer said that he would read to me the back of the permit where it states that only foreign citizens may drive the vehicle and their immediate family members if the owner and permit holder is aboard said vehicle. I responded “clearly I can speak Spanish, read and write it as well, and have most certainly read that entire permit, since I am fully aware of my environment and what we are up against on a daily basis.” I then proceeded to ask the officer if he was married? He said he was. I asked him that wasn’t it true that here in Mexico, and just about any place else in the world, that when you are legally married “what’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is yours?” And, that furthermore nowhere on there does it cite our particular situation. He said nothing. Finally, I trotted out my last trick out of my bag-which seems to be getting shallower and shallower the longer we are here-“Officer, thank you so much for not arresting my husband and not impounding my car, so as not to keep you, can you please tell me where to meet you, so that I can let my U.S. Embassy representative know where we will be to aid us in this matter?” His response was, “Weeellll, you know, I don’t want to waste anymore of your time on this matter, so I think I will just go ahead and let your husband and the vehicle go.”
The officer actually asked my husband what had they done to me during my time here in Mexico, so much so that I seemed rather disillusioned and traumatized? Really, ya think? PLEASE SEE FIRST STORY…PLEASE SEE PREVIOUS NEWSLETTERS
Humph…and they say it doesn’t pay to be a bitch. And, please always read the fine print of everything, especially what’s on the back of stuff. Ultimately, the cop was probably letting my husband go out of pity…for being married to me. The truly funny part of this whole thing is that when they found out that my husband teaches auto systems and sells related equipment, they actually asked him if he could help them with some issues they were having with their own vehicles???!!!
In the meantime I’m still teaching EFL, and my husband is still selling automotive computers and other specialty equipment and tools. He also goes from auto shop to auto shop bringing the latest automotive repair technology to mechanics. He is even contacted from time-to-time by car dealerships (hmm…kinda scary, that one)! Though sometimes it seems more like he is trying to drag mechanics into the NOW. Most have never seen a hybrid vehicle. And, hopefully never tried to work on one, either.
Many of my students struggle to achieve the discipline necessary to learn something new. In this case, English. As we all know, English, is really difficult because of all its crazy inconsistencies (‘i’ before ‘e’ except after…contractions, and on and on), and we-Americans-only make it that much harder by throwing in all kinds of slang drawn in from many of the different cultures thriving in the United States. Inclusion is great, but how do you teach that? Furthermore, what does it sound like? Add to those challenges, students here only go to school half a day due to lack of schools and teacher shortages resulting in the over-crowding of classrooms because of exploding population growth, and the government’s inability to keep up. Students are then sent home to learn on their own, the material that wasn’t gotten to during the school day. So, I spend quite a bit of time just teaching how to learn! I remind my students that learning is an acquired/learned skill. One of my students, a college graduate who now has two businesses, said that she has learned more about the language structure of her own native Spanish by studying English, than she ever learned in all of her years of schooling. My classes are fully bilingual so everything is done in English and Spanish-reading, writing and speaking. I have gotten quite a number of students, of all ages and levels, who have already spent considerable time and money in English immersion schools only to come away with little or no working knowledge of the language.
In my last newsletter I shared with you the story of ____. ____ is 43-years-old and is in the local teachers’ college. She is a first year student there and hopes to become a special education teacher upon graduation. Sadly, _____ is experiencing a bit of a backlash by her fellow students. They resent her because of her advanced age, and tell her (To her face no-less. I’ll give ‘em that, Mexicans are nothing if not brutally honest) that she wrongly is taking the (limited) place of someone younger and therefore more deserving than she. In fact, because of her age she will never be able to get a job in a public school and will only be able to work in a private Special Ed school??? PLEASE SEE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH ON TEACHER SHORTAGES AND CRAPPY EDUCATION.
Recently, in neighboring states, teachers have been striking and rioting for the right to be able to leave their teaching positions as a legal inheritance to their heirs!!!??? Yeah, I dunno why I get students who don’t know the difference between the First Person and the Third Person. But, they do know how to throw a tantrum when they don’t get their own way, no matter how unreasonable their request may appear. PLEASE SEE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH ON TEACHER SHORTAGES AND CRAPPY EDUCATION.
On a more positive note I called a friend back in the States, my lifeline. We now have Skype so it’s not so crazy expensive to do so. I put a few of my students on the line with her, and they were all successful in answering and asking for names and how everyone was doing! They were absolutely amazed that they could understand her and were even more blown away that she could understand them! I know it doesn’t seem like much, but there is absolutely no one, besides myself, that is a native speaker that they can practice English with here. Clearly they are taking it on faith that I am doing the right thing for them.
I encountered an American woman, downtown, about six months ago. And, she was just passing through. To say that I feel isolated is an understatement.
Living here in Mexico has taught me quite a bit about the obvious, but not always acknowledged: We all desire the same things…we just go about attempting to obtain those things-each of us-in our own way (PLEASE SEE FIRST COUPLE OF STORIES).. Having said that, just this past Halloween really brought that home to me…in fact, right to the front door of my home. Folks here, well, small folks at any rate, celebrate Halloween-aka, Hell For The Childless (that would be my husband and myself)-just as they do in the United States. Except with their own, little, twist to it.
First off, they start “Trick ‘r Treating” on the 31st. And then continue for the next two days! In fact we had twice as many kids come to the door on the second day as compared to the number we had on the first day! It’s not like I hadn’t already experienced this aspect of Mexican HELLoween, as this is our 3rd one here. But, like most unpleasant things best forgotten, and in the spirit of at least trying to be optimistic even in the worst of times… And Second, they don’t say “Trick or Treat” instead they say, “Me das Calaverita!” Translation: Will You Give Me (A) Little Skull?! ( I think I had a guy say that to me in a bar somewhere, once.) A few kids came in full costume. You know the usual suspects: witches, mummies and the like, but most can’t afford a costume or makeup, and so just show up making their requests. Even the least expensive of costumes run about $120 Pesos, which, here, is more than an entire day’s minimum wage! I included photos.
But, in the end, I think we did our best to enjoy the little people coming to our door, and appreciated all of their efforts in getting the most out of their day (s).
I guess that updates all the folks who send me e-mails asking me how things are going. I think I gave a pretty good overview of the current situation. One thing I will ask of people, given the current situation: PLEASE STOP SENDING ME E-MAILS THAT BRING A GAZILLION YEARS OF BAD LUCK IF I DON’T FORWARD THEM! We’ve got enough negative crap going on without adding that to the mix. Please, just take a moment, every once in a while, to let me know that you are still out there, living a semi-normal life, and send me a simple “Hello.” And, thank you to all of the people who think of us and stay in touch. It really does make a huge difference.
As long as it’s not a ransom request, we’re ok with it.
Love and Blessings
Tags: kidnapping, Mexico, Queretaro, World Watching And Politics
Zoe
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