my first leap

It’s 10.15am and I’m in the Camellia Hotel’s business centre which has 6 computers and they charge you 10 yuan an hour compared to 3 yuan in local internet cafes for the convenience. Most internet places and restaurants, including this centre shut about 11pm. The other night I walked for 20 mins looking for an internet cafe because this one was shut. The streets were still busy with people; though I realised that even if I did find an internet cafe, after an hour surfing, the streets would be empty. I was surprised to see grown men looking through the dustbins. I didn’t feel threatened, they didn’t take much notice of me but felt I should be cautious. Seb was at the hotel thinking I was also in the hotel and didn’t know I had wandered out and it was selfish of me to not think about how worried he’d be if anything bad happened to me. When you’re determined to get somewhere yet half of you feel you should go back, it can be a frustrating feeling. I saw a woman tuk tuk driver and saw that as a sign. I jumped on and went back to the hotel.

When we were in PingXiang; my cousin told me of the Chinese Hungry Ghost Festival and that we could celebrate it if we went to ZhongZuo to visit her mother. Because of time constraints we didn’t go to ZhongZuo in the end. It was the most stunning place I’ve been to and to get an idea how stunning, you can get an idea if you take a bus from PingXiang to Nanning. I forgot all about it until last night. Yesterday night, both Seb and I were so tired after travelling that when I felt a male presence behind me stroking my back, I felt a little freaked; so freaked I jumped on to Seb’s bed and slept with the wall on one side and Seb on the other. I was sleeping in that half sleep state when you’re still aware of the room around you but you’re sure you’re asleep as well. That’s when I felt more than one pair of eyes on me, of women and children in the bedroom. I dismissed it as tiredness and a too-active-imagination. But normally with vivid imaginations, images tend to be a little more horrifying. This time, I wasn’t scared, they were just watching and even the man who stroked my back wasn’t aggressive. I finally I slept and had a nightmare. In my nightmare, I felt the presences again. I whispered to Seb ‘Seb, do you see them?’ and Seb said ‘Shhh, quiet, I see them.’ And the next minute I felt an invisible-but-seemed-so-real bag made of some sort of netting thrown over my face and I choked myself awake. I related my nightmare to Seb and then forgot it. The next day, coming into the room on my own, I felt I wasn’t alone. Last night, whilst walking back to the hotel we noticed on the pavements circles drawn with chalk and burnt ashes within. I had noticed them the night before but it didn’t click. But last night I remembered the Hungry Ghost Festival and that these piles of ashes were the result of families burning death money, clothes, food etc for their dead. And then I remembered the feeling of others in the bedroom, the nightmare and how mine and Seb’s arms, the right arm, have been feeling weird ever since we’ve stayed here, like someone was putting pressure on it as though trying to draw blood. Seb also has been losing feeling in his legs the same night I had the nightmare. It’s all very strange. This morning though, after Seb went around the room chanting something inaudible – no, I lie, I don’t know what he did but he said he did something, the presences were gone. Very weird. This was the first for me.

We’ve booked ourselves on a sleeper coach. I’ve been on one before but this will be the first for Seb. We’re leaving at 3.30pm and arriving in Mengla 14 hours later. We love China. This time round, knowing a bit more of the language, people are friendlier and more approachable. We both wanted to stay longer. The air is cooler and the weather perfect for cycling.

It’s now 13.26am and we’ve just checked out (check out 14.00) after some breakfast – the breakfast buffet at the Camellia is good, I especially enjoyed the noodles. We’re waiting around til it’s time to go to the bus station. So while Taiwan, South China and Tokyo are being whipped about by typhoon Maria, Saomai and Prapiroon, I’ve just watched a documentary on the Nanjing Massacre 1937, within 6 weeks the Japanese invaded, tortured and raped 300,000 Chinese people – click here for some photos. Today the Japanese remember the bombing of Nagasaki yet they deny ever the Nanking massacre ever happened. As Seb reminds me of what the Chinese are doing in Tibet; I know that not one Nation is good or bad; but I just want to remember the victims no matter who they are.

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To Amy: Forgot to say thanks for commenting on Silent Witness. Hoped mum liked it. Glad to hear to watched it twice!

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I like men who have a future and women who have a past – Oscar Wilde. Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854–1900

Tags: Internet, Kunming, Travel, Travel, Travel

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