Being back in my hometown on a more longterm basis after 12 years away has given me the strange perspective of half-native-half-tourist. Guiding Georgina through the tourist hotspots of Unter den Linden, Potsdam, Ku-Damm, Potsdamer Platz, Bergmannstrasse, etc etc... made me quite aware of the fact that I had not much of an insider perspective. I didn't know which fleamarket was the best, I didn't know the good cheap restaurants in the neighborhood, I got lost a lot. It was actually pretty fun, but now that I have been back longer I keep finding little places I wish I had known about then! And anyway, G. and I ended up spending a lot of time on the road. About a week after she'd gotten here, we got a ride to Prague with a nice Italian man and his boyfriend through the rideshare system and spent four days touring the town. I had been to Prague in October of 2002, so I didn't see a lot of new sights. I think Prague is one of those towns that has a tourist identity - I mean a level of experience designed for people who are transient. Even in the off season, Prague is flooded by visitors, and the industry suporting these visitors had grown exponentially even since my last visit only 2 years ago. To me it is still among the top 3 most beautiful cities in Europe - and I enjoyed being there, even if I slowly can't afford it anymore. While Berlin can be pretty depressing when it's cold and grey, Prague somehow manages to make the weather its own and lend even the greyest day an aspect of beauty and mystery. Walking across Karl's Bridge and drinking a bottle of wine while strolling the dark castle alleyways will always remain an inexpensive thrill. (They can't start charging admission to the castle grounds, can they?)
After returning to Berlin I started classes at the FU. There was a lot to be done in the whole re-entry process and somehow this stress reflected in my mood. Remedy to stress and too much work? Roadtrip! The following Friday I rented a car and G. and I drove through the night to Brussels where we would be staying with a friends of hers - Michelle ( I think.) Michelle is quite a character - I would guess her to be in her fifites. She is a little highstrung, and also somewhat flaky, which is a dangerous combination when it causes a person to lose sight of something and then immediately panic about 20 times a day. I don't want to overemphasize this though, since she was a truly graceful and attentive host. She took us around on bikes to see the town, introduced us to her children and grandchildren, told us lots of interesting stories about her hometown, and we enjoyed ourselves. My stress was starting to fade. On our third day we joined Michelle and a family of visitors also from Mexico on a daytrip to Brugges. I wasn't aware of Brugge as a tourist hotspot, but it really worth the time. It's small and beautiful and what the tourist catalogs would describe as "charming". We got into town a little later than we intended and spent a good hour just parking. By 2 pm G. and I managed to lose the crowd and strolled through town to see what sight we could take in in 5 hours. We didn't do much, since everything closed at 5, but it was a nice whetting of the apetite for future visits.

After returning to Brussels and spending the night, we got back into the little rental that could and hit the road to Gent to visit my friends Lisa and Els who had moved to Belgium from Portland three weeks prior. Els was on a similar visa as I and decided to stop battling the authorities for the right to stay. They had gotten married in Portland in Spring and were now beginning their new life in a new country. Lisa had a few things to say about her culture shock as an American living in Gent, as did Els about the shock of returning home after time away. We all agreed that we had somehow not expected to find western Europe to be as overly sexist as it is. I remember being remotely aware of this fact as a teenager, but had blocked it out or something. It seems that in the USA, this issue is more loudly dealt with and not considered a state that should continue in general - while here it appears to be one of those issues that is pushed aside as "whining". Well. It was good to see them, and we had a long cup of coffee and lunch catching up. After lunch, G. and I were back on our way to Amsterdam. I really like to drive - especially in areas that I have never seen. I'm gazing at out at the countryside, guiding my own tour.
We got into Amsterdam around 8pm and found a little christian hostel I had heard about from Rebecca who stayed there once on a trip with her friend Mari. It is the cheapest bed in Amsterdam if you're not staying with friends, and really very clean and friendly. I enjoyed being invited to prayer group by the receptionist, allthough I did not intend to take advantage of it. I'm such a heathen - and what visitor can resist being a little hedonistic in Amsterdam? I don't know any. Just the Dutch can - I suppose everything gets old after a while :o). The shelter Jordan is in the Jordan district - one of the prettiest of downtown Amsterdam. After running around town that night, we went to the Van Gogh museum, considered the Anne Frank house but passed after seeing the line, and met an old friend of a friend's of G.'s for Belgian beer and Dutch fried food at a beautiful cafe - old school Amsterdam.
G. and I agreed on a tour of the red light district that evening. I can't seem to get comfortable there, which I suppose is probably a good thing. It is such a strange mix of fantasy and reality - and I can't but think of those two qualities as a precarious combination. In that kind of space I get jumpy and start walking too fast... We had to leave for Berlin early the next day so that I could start a job I had found the week before. Again a visit that left me wanting more time to explore that town. Amsterdam is also among my top 3 most beautiful cities - likely to do with the canals. Water running through a city transforms the feeling of the town in my opinion... opens it up in a way. Amsterdam sure is open.

We got into Berlin a quick 6 hours later, I returned the car and went to work. I had seen a sign posted in the English department by parents who wanted someone to teach their little 3 year old girl English through play. I had met them the week before and we had agreed to do 2 hours per week on Tuesday afternoons. It did not seem like much of a job, but it was a lucky break to start with. Selina is the little girl, and she is great. Since I started this job, her friend Philip and his friend Oscar, two little four year old boys, have joined the mix, and our Tuesday afternoons are fun and rambunctious. Phillip's 7 year old sister got jealous and wanted English lessons for herself and her friend too, and now there are two sessions. It's fun, and the kids are interesting. I make enough money to pay for groceries on a weekly basis.

G. left the next week, which left me feeling blue- and I had to get busy going to school for a little while. I have classes Monday through Thursday with quite a few breaks inbetween. Going to University in Germany sure is different but same. I expected the work to be harder, the courses more rigorous - but that hasn't really materialized. The system makes your education your responsibility in a much more complete way than in the States. Most of the courses I attend don't require me to produce an actual result like an essay or a passed exam. I simply claim I was there on a little piece of paper fill out every semester. There are a few core courses I have to pass with a paper or exam - but over 4 semesters, that's like 30% of the courses I take. Then, unlike in the States there's an very exensive exam at the end of my course of study that requires me to reproduce everything I have learned over the past years in writing, orally and in practice. Not quite what I was used to. It is both liberating and stressful. Stressful in part because nobody holds your hand to tell you when you need to file such and such application, take such and such pre-requisite or do such and such praktikum. And since the University is currently in the process of reforming its entire system to coincide with a European educational norm, sometimes there is noone who could tell you those things. I am asking lots of questions to prevent some kind of sudden two year waiting period or something.

The month of November went by with a struggle. It was a little bit lonely and I felt like a had a million things to do, but no motivation to do them. I was just hanging on til Christmas, when I would have my next visitor to distract me, while procrastinating my school work. But I made some headway as well. I found a few friends, reconnected with a few old ones and got out of the house a little.