When I arrived in Berlin, I had only a vague outline of a plan. Get an apartment, register for classes, get a job, survive. My father pledged his support of my graduate studies by basically volunteering to finance my basic needs for shelter, heat and internet access. All I had to do is get a job that would allow me to regularly purchase food, soap and catlitter, possible the occasional beer or movie ticket. Now, at 31 years old, it seems a little odd that I should have my father pay my rent. There is a little voice in my head whispering to me: "what kind of loser are you, that you need daddy to hold you up instead of standing on your own two feet?" Then there's another voice saying - "you are being offered a priviledge that few people in the world enjoy - take it and make the most of it!" For lack of a better alternative I have decided to drown out voice number one, until I can get a job that pays enough to make both voices disappear.

So, day 1. I arrived at my father's house, plunked the two bags that contained what was left of my worldly posessions down in the guest room, which was my bedroom when I was 3, and sat down to deliberate my next move. At this point, the gravity of the transition I was making came down on me like an anvil. My departure from Portland had not been voluntary. Somehow I had not managed to develop much of a positive attitude about this move since it had become a reality, and spent much of my time simply blocking it out. Here I was now, back at square one, with not much of a clue how to begin. It could have been a happy day. I could have danced a jig to celebrate this total freedom and run out into the sunshine to make new friends. Instead I felt overwhelmed, dissapointed in myself and scared to death. I decided to battle this loomig depression by immediately starting an intensive search for my own place. Well...3 weeks later I had made the move. It seemed like an eternity those 3 weeks, but looking back on it, that was actually pretty good. It was especially good because the apartment I now call home is probably the greatest apartment I have ever had. It is spacious, bright, cheap, well connected to public transportation, relatively quiet by Berlin apartment building standards...but most important than everything else...it was all mine. I went into a renovation frenzy. Painting the kitchen blue, the bathroom yellow, everything else a bright white - accepting generous gifts of furniture, dishes and volunteer work from friends and family - trying to build a new home for myself that would help me make it through the winter.
After having immmersed myself in this task, came the next step. Officially joining German society. Now this seems like a little bit of a symbolic task - what do you mean officially joining, you might ask. Aren't you a German citizen, don't you have an adress now, what else do you have to do? Well. As a resident of any German city, one must register one's current adress with city hall. If one intends to work, one must have an income tax card. If one intends to study, one must have health insurance. If one intends to have health insurance, one must apparently have nerves of steel. I won't go into the mysterious workings of the German bureaucratic labyrinth in depth, but I can't stop myself from making this observation about my people. We have a reputation for being an efficient, rational nation that produces quality products. This is a myth! It is a big fat lie - and you should not believe what they tell you! The German system is the biggest knot of red tape I have ever experienced, and the people working within this system are systematically either not responsible, not capable, or simply not in their office. Okay. I feel better. Suffice it to say that it took me 3 months to officially exist. I shall not mention this again. (maybe)
At the beginning of October I received my first visitor, Georgina, in my new home. It was both a blessing and a curse to have planned a visit this soon. On one hand, it lit a fire under my ass to make things happen, but on the other, it made the time we had to spend a little stressful - considering I was still swamped with the tasks of identity-generation and the impending start of classes at University. Nevertheless, within all of this chaos, Georgina and I found a few moments of bliss together, and I discovered myself in the middle of a new romance. G stayed for a month, during which we toured Prague, Brussels, Brugges, Gent, Amsterdam and of course Berlin. Welcoming a newcomer to my hometown is always a treat, since it gives me the opportunity to re-discover some of the best parts of the city. It was a breath of fresh air for me to remember why I love Berlin. It has a lot to offer on every level- even in the depths of the chills and rains of October.