If the title hasn't already clued you in, if you are over 50 years old, you probably don't want to read this.

So last night was the legendary Full Moon party. It wasn't at all what I had expected. I had expected something more Burning Manesque- fabulous creative outfits, fire twirling- that sort of thing. This was just about a quarter to a half mile of beach with bars along it and a lot of people drinking and dancing.

It was fun. I had discovered a secret bathroom 2 nights before the party and it definitely served me well for the big night.

I had also learned that pacing myself and perhaps a snack between buckets would be necessary to make it until dawn. My strategy worked well and I made it until 9:30 AM which is more then I can say for pretty much everyone with whom I had started the evening but they probably all drank more then I did.

They turned off the music at around 9AM which I thought was weird. I had been told that the party went all day the next day. Supposedly this was a somewhat tamer party because it is off season and the woman who sold most of the drugs got busted a few months ago.

People seemed to get pretty desperate when the sun started to come up. "What?! You mean that night is over and I still don't know who I am going home with?"

Some guy from Barcelona talked to me for about 45 seconds before shoving his tongue down my throat and his hand up my skirt. I took care of that situation quickly.

You see I never have and never will drink enough to fuck a complete stranger in broad daylight on a beach in front of loads of people.

Call me crazy.

I was surprised by the number of people who I saw that I knew. There was Sarah from NahTrang; Jemma and Sarah and Jill from Koh Pi Pi, and Chris who had been part of a group I kept crossing paths with. He was suprisingly happy to see me which leads me to believe that he must've been one something.

We'd barely had a conversation in all of the time I kept seeing him, but his face lit up and he gave me a big hug when he saw me. That guy Chris that he was always with was off with a Thai prostitute. That Kiwi guy Jared that was part of his crew and who was the most run into individual from my trip, spent a night in jail for returning to Australia without his visa.

Unfortunately, I did not run into Beate and Beatriz who I had had a great time with in Sihanoukville Cambodia.

As Murphy's law would have it (or Sod's if your a Brit), I ran into the one and only person I did not want to see. I saw him the moment I hit the beach. I hadn't even had anything to drink yet.

You'd think a 5'10", average weight, tan guy with a shaved head would blend into the crowd since that describes at least 20% of the guys here, but it is hard to miss a tatoo of a dragon that takes up a person's whole back.

Do you remember that romantic rejection I wrote about earlier. Well, there he was 5 feet away from me. He was with a bunch of guys. I was happy to see that he was not with the girl that he ditched me for.

I don't think I mentioned that in the past. I had been traveling with a group in Siem Reip- 3 Brits and 2 German girls- Kathy and Caroline. He went for one of the German girls, Caroline. At the time, I couldn't tell which one he was going for because he got on really well with Kathy but you could tell that Caroling had the cache of being the more unattainable and therefore, more attractive option.

They didn't get together while I was there, but the intention and attention certainly slipped away from me and on to her while we were still all hanging out.

As you might imagine, it was a bit awkward. No one said anything and everyone pretended that everything was perfectly normal.

That is until right before I left, when I finally worked up the courage to bring up the obvious. I just thought it would be nice if the fact that I was not treated well was acknowedged.

I do not know what he was doing at this party. He was supposed to be in Laos. I never expected to see him here. I certainly didn't want to.

But I kept seeing him.

The third time I saw him, I also had the displeasure of seeing that he was still with the two German girls. Kathy looked like she was having a blast but Caroline did not look like she was having a good time and he was chatting up some other girl. I was very curious about that situation. Presumably he was still with Caroline because they were all together, but she looked unhappy and he was flirting with girl. Yet, Kathy looked perfectly happy. You'd think she wouldn't be so nice to him if he were being crappy to her friend.

We weren't in a big crowd. They had to have seen me as well and chose not to approach me. It occured to me that I had run into a friend of the German girls in the street the other day which meant that they probably already knew I was here. They had gone their separate ways from the friend when I parted ways with them so it hadn't occurred to me that they might be here.

Luckily, I was being chatted up by a someone at this time so I could also pretend not to see them.

But then the fourth run in came about and I just couldn't resist approaching. It was only Simon and Kathy. I don't know why I walked over. Actually, I supposed I was just looking for a nonverbal acknowledgement in the form of a warm greeting indicating that it was fun while it lasted.

I'm sure you are surprised that I didn't get it. I got more of a dammit, I've been trying to avoid you and how long until I can leave blank expression.

I tried not to let the whole situation ruin my evening but I have to admit that it did put a damper on it. Resentment is just one of those things that no matter how much you try to suppress it, other people will pick up on the negativity.

So, I didn't reallly have any great fun with strangers that evening. Mostly just hung out with a couple of people I had arrived with.

It really was not the note I wanted to end my trip on. It is a bit of downer.

I really wanted to come home after a raging good time all positive and fresh faced.

I'm trying to reverse my mood by forcing a smile which will hopefully trigger my brain to send out the happy chemicals.

We'll see if it works.