He that will make good use of any part of his life must allow a large part of it for recreation.

- John Locke

My trip is winding down. I haven't really done much with the last 4 weeks. The last two of which were an add on.

I think I needed to add on the extra weeks so that I could mentally prepare for coming home. I am ready for it. I'm actually excited about it now. (We'll see how long that lasts.) It is sort of strange because I have not really wanted chocolate or bread much this trip but suddenly, I really do. It is like all of my old habits are returning in preparation for my return.

This has been a good trip. It has mostly been about having fun.

My South America trip and my France living and Europe traveling were character building experiences. I think they both changed me in significant ways.

I can't say that about this trip. Perhaps I will discover some change when I get home and am removed from the experience. Or, perhaps I am mature enough that the core of my being is not going to change much.

I thought maybe this trip would help me be a more fun person in general, but when the responsibilities of volunteering were there, I wasn't nearly as much fun. It is unfortunate how responsibility can oppress the fun in some people.

For me, it is really just a matter of sleep. I can't be fun without enough sleep and I can't work hard without enough sleep and it is hard to find enough time for all three.

But back to the fun.

This trip has been about having all of the fun I never had. I'm glad I did it. I made up for lost time. It has been a lot like being in college- easy to meet people and everyone has a common interest.

I am going to my 10 year college reunion when I return. I think it is a good way to end a trip like this where in a lot of ways, I got to travel back in time and apply the "if I knew then, what I know now" knowledge.

It was a rare opportunity.

I think people at the reunion will be surprised by me. Those who knew me pegged me to be an upwardly mobile career woman. I'll be showing up jobless, homeless and clueless.

But happy.

I think it is important to be committed to one's happiness. I think there is a lot to be said for pursuing unconventional dreams. I expect some people will judge me to be not very successful and others will be very jealous of the choices I have made.

Personal growth wise and relationship wise, I have a lot to show for the past 10 years, but I am not particularly proud of anything on my resume. In so many ways I am in exactly the same place I was when I graduated college. Only then, I thought the world was my oyster and the right career would make itself obvious to me over time.

It seems neither of these things are true.

Even so, I am happy to be beginning the journey again instead of plodding down the same path because that was the way I had been walking, and it is a long way back to the junction.

I don't expect it to be easy, but I have hope that I can find a more steady and true happiness on a new path.

Only time will tell.