Arriving in the town of Vang Vieng is a bit of a shock. After a long windy journey past mountain villages, you are suddenly in the middle of a strip of road filled with tourist restaurants blaring episodes of Friends.

I had heard it was a crappy town because of the dust, but I found the trash and noise pollution more offensive.

The surrounding environment is nice- limestone mountains, caves and rivers. The town is just an eye soar or, to some, an oasis. It seems to exist solely for tourists and their vices. Drugs are readily available. Some people seem to stay for endless amounts of time.

I had the feeling that it was accessible only by tourist mini-van and that those on a regular locals bus would pass through sight unseen. Sort of a weird twilight zone that can only be entered if you know the secret passage.

I've enjoyed my trip, but so far, I don't feel like I have been significantly culturally enriched or truly awed by the natural surroundings. I think a lot of this is because it often seems that there are more tourists then locals and that everything is contrived for us. I could go off the beaten path, but I have learned in my travels that generally speaking, there is a reason the path isn't beaten, especially when you don't speak the language.

Also, my experience so far in SE Asia is that it is heavily about good times. I've always failed miserably at hedonism. My dislike of beer, tendency to feel sick after 3 cocktails, love of 8 hours of sleep, and preference to avoid inhaling smoke have a lot to do with my dunce cap in partying 101.

I think I just need to embrace that my tendency is to be a serious person which isn't necessarily common on the travel circuit.

And so, strangely, being in this town of vice, has made me think a lot about work.

I've always wanted a job that would have a positive impact on the world because I've always felt guilty that I have such a high standard of living while there are oppressed, starving, uneducated people without healthcare in my world. It seemed that if I felt bad about it, I should do something about it.

For some reason, and I don't know why, being in the developing country of Laos has made me feel like I don't have to have a job that is saving the world. I'm not exactly sure how, but I think watching a bunch of people sitting around killing brain cells, has influenced this feeling in some way. Perhaps just being a productive member of society is enough.

I think I've realized that I don't want to feel like I am fighting all the time. I don't want to have to think about injustice and suffering every single day. I don't want to be completely consumed by one issue. And ultimately, as unfortunate as it is to admit, I'm just not that altruistic by nature. I think a job with the goal of effecting change in the world is one that I always thought I should do but in truth, guilt is never a good reason to do anything.

I've found that traveling always reminds me of the positive aspects of capitalism- innovation, service, efficiency, productivity . . . This trip has made me realize that it is OK to have a regular job and enjoy a high standard of living. Most people in the world are striving for a good standard of living and my feeling guilty about having one doesn't help them in any way.

I should do my best to make sure that I am not enjoying my standard of living at other people's expense by using my purchase power and vote responsibly. As a global citizen it is my job to stay informed, aware and concerned. And while I live in an area filled with people who are very involved in fostering positive change and who are proactive about progressive ideals, I don't have to match their level of involvement. I just need to do what feels right to me.

I won the lottery by being born into a well-to-do American family, and I should take advantage of the opportunity that affords me.

Now, if only I knew what I'd like to be when I grow up.