The Makings of a Paradigm Shift
It seems like a lifetime has passed since that fateful day in January when Claude said, “What would you think about selling everything and taking the kids on a trip around the world?” You can imagine my initial response – something along the lines of “Are you $@#!% nuts?” The funny thing is, a paradigm shift can happen so quickly, in the blink of an eye, in fact. That’s what happened to me that day.
You know, I’ve always lived my life with the belief that everything happens for a reason and if it’s meant to be it will be. That may seem like an undisciplined and risky modus operandus, but it’s worked for me so far. I’ve actually kind of strayed from that way of thinking over the past decade and gotten rather caught up in making things happen and doing what’s expected of me instead of going with the flow and taking life as it comes. Isn’t everyone in their thirties supposed to be working their tails off and shuttling kids from one activity to another – overscheduled and stressed to the max? Luckily for me, Claude has always been of the opinion that life is too short and we need to live each day to the max and look for adventure around every corner. This has occasionally been the source of stress in our marriage as we struggled to balance his “work to live” mentality with my “live to work” point of view.
Hence the paradigm shift – I don’t really believe it happened in the blink of an eye. It was actually the culmination of a series of events over the past year that opened my eyes and caused my perspective to change. Losing two close friends to illness far too young within a few months of each other had a huge impact on me. They both continued to love life and live it with courage and joy right to the end. I was inspired by their spirit and zest for life and became determined not to wait for tragedy to strike to fulfill my dreams. Around the same time, I started to realize that my former passion for my career was starting to wane. I’ve been very lucky in my career and, often by being in the right place at the right time, have managed to achieve most of my career goals at an early age. At some point, the joy of success started to fade and the stress began to mount. I found myself obsessing about work and putting my family at the bottom of my priority list. I’ve always believed you should love what you do, and when it’s not fun anymore you need to reassess your priorities.
As evidence of the unconscious beginnings of a paradigm shift, this Christmas I bought an outdoor adventure magazine for Claude’s stocking with the caption on the cover, “50 Things to Do Before You Die.” Then, in early January, while working a late shift, a co-worker asked me, “If you could do it all over again, would you do anything differently?” My immediate answer was that I would have taken a year off to travel before settling down to career and kids. Claude had suggested it before, but I was too focused on career and kids at the time to even consider it. That night, instead of coming home to the usual dark house and snoring family, I found my wide-eyed husband buried in his magazine and chattering about climbing Mt Kilimanjero. Both of us tossed and turned that night and the next day Claude asked that historic question (if you’ve forgotten, refer to paragraph 1).
So we’re back to the beginning (sorry to ramble but I needed to flesh out the story a little), and my response to Claude’s question. In that moment, I decided to open my mind to the possibility and explore the pros and cons:
| Pros | Cons |
| We’ll spend 24/7 with each other and our kids and had have a profound impact our marriage and on the kids’ future development. | We might spend 24/7 with each other and our kids and end up putting them up for adoption and getting divorced. |
| We’ll see all the places we’ve dreamed of and experience different food, religion, history and culture of countries all over the world. | We might get the runs, bedbugs, homesickness, Dengue fever, malaria, Avian influenza and/or bring back some godforsaken parasite we’ll never get rid of (pharmacists have vivid imaginations) |
| We’ll experience life in other countries and gain an appreciation for our own privileged existence in Canada | We might miss our privileged existence in Canada |
| We won’t have to experience winter for 18 months | No skiing, snowboarding, skating, tobogganing for 18 months |
| We won’t have to wait for retirement to spend the money we’ve been saving for retirement | We might have to move in with our kids when we retire! |
| We won’t have to work for a whole year! | We’ll have no income for a whole year! |
| We’ll be free of our worldly possessions and commitments and able to choose our path | We’ll have nothing and have to wear the same three outfits for a whole year! |
| We might get lost and discover a wonderful place off the beaten path | We might get lost and find ourselves in jail, a cannibal’s cauldron or a slave market (highly unlikely, right?) |
| We’ll be able reach out to others less fortunate than us and make a difference in their lives | We might find ourselves at the mercy of pickpockets, hoodlums, gangs and thieves (but wait, have you been to Toronto lately?) |
| We’ll have the adventure of a lifetime! | ?? |
As you can see, there is a con for every pro and it’s all a matter of perspective. You can talk yourself out of any decision if you want to, but once you’ve made up your mind, there’s no turning back. This time, Claude asked the question at the precisely the right time and the series of events and revelations that had occurred over the preceding months connected in my mind to illuminate the only clear path I could see. After a moment’s reflection, I retracted my initial crude statement and responded with, “That’s the best idea I’ve heard in years!” I wish you could have seen the look on his face. Within days, I was inundated with articles on RTW travel, travelling with kids, budgeting and planning, etc. I guess he didn’t want me to change my mind. We agreed to wait to tell anyone until we were 100% sure of our decision. We “tried on” our decision for a few weeks just to see how it would feel. Then, one night, we had a heart to heart talk about what we would be sacrificing to do this trip. We agreed that the sensible thing to do would be to stay where we are and commit to making family and recreation a higher priority (maybe even buy a boat). The next morning we both woke up depressed and looked at each other and said, “We’ve got to do this!” We’ve never looked back.
Tune in next week to read about the trials and tribulations of planning, budgeting, waffling and telling friends, family, coworkers and our bosses.
Tags: Planning, Travel
tambour
Sounds fantastic! I’ve been thinking about doing the same thing a few years from now when our two kids are a bit older. I may file this entry away to help try to convince my wife when the time comes.
I can’t wait to follow you travels.
I am there with you guys all the way! Will hold on to every detail…oh my god, how we will miss the best neighbours ever!