I thought it would be fun when Jim went on his diving trip today trip because I had a great time by myself when I came to Sydney before him, so I should have a great time again.
But Cairns is NOT Sydney.
Cairns is just another town that exists mainly to be a tourist cesspool.
I can’t stress how totally awesome Sydney was, and both Jim and I thought, it retrospect, that we could have just spent most the time there instead of other places. Since our time was limited, we only really stuck to the usual east-coast tourist trail, and that means tourist spot after boring tourist spot, which, again, in retrospect, is a little sad.
But if you don’t go to a tourist area in Oz, you are in the middle of nowhere, it seems.
Anyway, today I was going to walk around, explore, maybe a shop a little, find out about tours, use the internet, get a few more groceries, etc.
But when I wander alone, trying to waste hours, I realize what a dork I am, because I walk so fast and just look so awkward! It didn’t help that I wore my super touristy travel shorts today that have 100 pockets and a nerdy shirt with sports sandals.
Every other backpacker girl wears some cute tanktop with flipflops and her hair is streaked blond and she had a skirt or shorts on that sit way too far down on the hips. (These really ugly skirts are the rage here… kind of tight around the hips and then they flare into a pleated mess…ugh!) She has two other girls with her, and they are usually eating something bready and pulling it apart with their fingers as they stroll down the road.
I’m not so laid back like everyone else. I feel like such a nerd and I realize this is something that will be with me my whole life. I’m the person you see eating sloppily alone at a restaurant that you look at and for a fleeting second you think, “dork.”
Today I ate alone at the hostel cafe. I had a tuna, tabbouli and hummus wrap. Yesterday Jim and I shared ham quesadillas and a tandoori chicken sandwich with mint and mango chutney. They were cheap and awesome!
And guess what, I eat tomatoes now. My parents will NOT believe that.
But I digress.
It makes me realize that when I am with Jim or even ANY other person, I don’t seem so lost and awkward because I don’t have to walk so fast and be so destination-oriented. We are walking together and we can talk and I have something to do other than look like a chick who is by herself. I try to act normal when I am alone, but I am always focused on getting where I am going. I’ve always walked so fast, even in high school.
“Enjoy the journey,” right? But if there is nothing to enjoy on the way….?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t walk around all day feeling paranoid and nerdy. I’m used to being like this, so it doesn’t really bother me, since I don’t care if people think I’m a weirdo. Whatever.
What’s the point of this post? Not sure!
Tags: 'Deep Thoughts', Australia