amazing fact of the day for all you fools: bringing in more than 20 pairs of underwear is illegal in china. yikes. guess if you stain the ones you have, you just better not do it more than 20 times, or you might get kicked out for skid marks the size of mars!

I had a 48 hour boat ride ahead of me to get to china.. I was bound for the port in Japan where my ship awaited me, when i wondered what I was getting myself into? would it be some kind of clinging-to-its-last-leg kind of boat? Would I be arriving into China Goldie Hawn style via Overboard? Would I be made into a bunch of sea-faring seamen's only mermaid by force (NIGHTMARES!!)? Who the hell knew, but all I knew was that it was too late to change my mind. The end. I was boating it to china.

So I arrived at the port, and quickly breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the huge vessel before me..my first thought? Just like the statistical average of getting eaten by a shark if you are NOT the only one in the water, my statistical chance of NOT getting made into some crazy dudes mermaid was pretty good. I boarded the boat, and was just feeling eh, im alive, and i should make it alive. Then I noticed them. Not only one, not only 10, but about 35435432 of them. YES THAT IS NOT AN EXXAGERATION. okay maybe it is, but what of these atrocious things do I speak of? crazy, out-of-control, probably hardcore ADD children. The worst part? Parents who seemed not to give a crap about what these freaking monsters were doing. It was like being in the middle of a kung-fu movie, except they just screeched around me, I didn't know kung-fu, and we weren't on a movie set. So maybe its not like being in a kung-fu movie, but it would have been nice to think so.

I was shown to my room, and didn't think much of the fact that three of these decrepid things were laying on their bed, fully focused on their gameboys. Oh well, not a big deal. Until I realized they would be playing this all day. So i was stuck in a tomb of video game music for what seemed like an eternity, until I decided to go up on deck to detox from the overload.

It was a nice evening, I stayed out on the deck until about 1 am, as I became extremely motivated to do some serious writing in my journal. Upon which I came up with a new idea. Most of you know I am already in the process of writing a book about the randoms of life, and this trip is a huge part of it. SIDE NOTE: I have decided to write either a special chapter, or a book all its own with how to travel like a real jerk. How to cheat the systems, how to really do a trip like this, on the smallest amount of money possible. All sorts of ideas began to swarm in my head, as for the past 5 months, i have watched myself sometimes shell over money to someone, and coudln't stop the rampant thoughts of how I knew there was a way to get the same net results, minus the financial loss. I will document this for the world to know. So more people can do something like this..okay END OF SIDE NOTE..

anyhow, after much inspirational writing on feelings I had been feeling lately (man this is a huge side note that would depress you and make you want to immediately come and visit me and love me so awesomely, but i digress), i finally decided to succumb to my tomb o children. I quietly crawled into bed, as I did not want to disturb any of the sleeping cherubs. Yeah, I wish those pieces of crap knew how much damage I could have done in those moments when I had the upper hand, as I would have unleashed the fury on their stupid minds. But for every hour on the hour, those horrific beasts of children were up, doing something. Then they all woke up simulataneously, as if signalled by some demon from below, at 5:30 am. From this point on, it became a miniture version of daycamp in my room. Screaming, singing, video games, at 5:30 IN THE MORNING.

Finally I just gave up and went to the free breakfast the ship offered us. What a concept. Free? Well yeah, there is a reason they say nothing is for free. STD's are for free, mold is for free, and so is the stuff they tried to pass off as breakfast. I had no idea what it was, but I took it politely anyways. I was feeling tired, annoyed, and had in front of me, the scariest looking combination man has ever created and titled food. So I put my head down, wondering what I should do, when I looked up and saw the rapid motion of 4 hands moving quickly downwards. I soon realized those things, called children, who were in front of me, were mocking me. They sat there staring at me like they had never seen another human in their life, laughed at me, pointed at me, and much to my annoyance, soon had their mothers in this amazing joke. yeah haha assholes. so i looked down at the foot, back at their stupid laughing jerk-machine faces, and thought, "you are so lucky I am not shy". A shy person might have fled in terror to their rooms and hung themselves, or thrown themselves overboard. I just looked back at them when their mothers weren't looking, made faces at them. HA. yeah, i don't want kids anymore. i think. man i better be sure, but not if they are like THESE kids.

I also asked the people on the boat if I could switch cabins, as I could not stand another night of this mess. They were very nice in moving me into an even better cabin, that contained only one shy Chinese girl who has been living in Japan for the past 12 years. We instantly got a long and began talking about our travels and experiences in Japan.

The rest of the trip was a sinch. Dodging 54354354 screaming kids that ran up and down, left and right, from all directions became kind of easy when you stopped caring if you ran into them. I mean by the mere equations lent to me by my vast knowledge of physics, momentum will show that I will win. and win i shall, every time. When it is me versus them, both brains and braun, i will always win. yeah so what if they were kids. I will win against an army of those rancid beings.

And this was only the boat ride to china...

I have so much more, and it hasn't even been 48 hours..but I also have tired fingers, and I also have a little secret called stolen internet..I better not press my luck huh?

P.S. I can now recieve text messages again! LOVE ME RIGHT YOU FOOLS!