Aww, Christmas music in the stores! Japan is sounding better and better already, hehe. I think you might have learned the most important lesson in life in Japan; watch out for rotating buddah dildos.

on your final note: fugu almost killed homer simpson. this episode is one of four that i have stolen from my sister jillian on vhs. anyhow, it was meatloaf night in he simpson home and lisa complains, "meat loaf night, from cradle to grave, carved in stone...." and then she suggests that the family try something new on thursday instead of porkchop night. marge agrees that a new dining experience would be nice. so homer, pissed that he'd be missing out on his precious porkchops, asks the sarcastic question, "well! where would you like to go?" lisa replies, "anything but burgers, pizza, and fried chicken!" homer, pissed at this point, says, "well, fine! why dont we just go to mars!" marge, the moderator of the family, suggests that they try the new sushi place that just opened up. bart interrupts, "hey man! wait a minute. this might be one of those playground rumors, but isnt that raw fish!" Lisa, i love lisa, returns the claim, "as usual, the playground has the facts, yet misses the point entirely." she goes on to explain the cultural experience of trying new foods from foreign places blah blah blah. so they go for sushi instead of having porkchop night. there is a hippi dude singing that gypsey song by cher with the lyric, "momma used to dance for the money they'd hold." lisa and marge order the safe-bet plate of sushi sampler, bart orders shark, eel, barakuda, whatever -- he is stoked -- and homer, hesitant and weary of the tiny and lame looking rice wrappy things, orders a little of this and that. the food comes and its a complete success. bart and lisa start singing karoke (how the hell do i spell that) -- great song -- the theme song from shaft. all the while, homer is gluttoning himself, ordering everything on the menu...and i mean everything. of course there is a head chef and his pupil chef. mrs crabapple comes to the sushi place to have car sex with the head chef who then calls on his pupil bitch to 'cover' for him. thats when homer orders the fugu. the waiter tries to talk him out of it, but doesnt get a word in edgewise because home screams, "FUGU ME!!!" the waiter rushes into the kitchen and hands the order to the pupil chef. he goes out the back door and interrupts the car sex session between captain sushi chef and mrs crabapple. he says, "sir, we need your skilled hands!" captain sushi (i like captain sushi better than head chef) replies, "my skilled hands are busy! i said COVER FOR ME!" the young pupil runs in the kitchen, whips open this sushi instructional book with a diagram of a fufu blowfish with sections squared off with skull-and-crossbones to mark the poisonous sections. he makes his cut, the damn thing deflats, and the fufu sushi is made and served to an eager homer. as homer eats, the waiter and the pupil chef stand at his side biting their nails. at the same time, captain sushi, who is done with lady crabapple, returns to the kitchen and sees the sushi book opened and turned to the page of the fufu blowfish. he sees a high possibility of a mis-cutting, tells his pupil chef and the waiter who then tell homer this, "we are sorry to deliver this made news, but we have good reason to believe that you have ingested poison." homer goes on this rant of "you never hear anyone dying from eating porkchops" when the staff tell him he should go to the hospital and that there is a map to the nearest hospital on the back of the menu for the customer's convenience. doctor hibbord, i think thats his name, apologizes for the 2 hours he kept homer waiting, but he may have only 22 hours left to live, hand homer a pamphlet titled "so youre going to die", and explains the 5 steps of dealing with facing the end. homer and family leave and he makes a list of things to do before he dies, "go sky-diving, plant tree, listen to lisa play sax, have heart to heart with bart, be intimate with wife, make-up with dad, tell boss to eat is shorts, etc etc." he sleeps in, has heart to heart, listens to lisa play, makes tape for maggie, makes up with pops, and gets arrested trying to rush home for dinner because his pops was a little love-starved and wouldnt let him leave. barney bails him out, he sees boss, tells boss to eat his shorts, boss gets told who homer simpson from sector 7g is -- once again -- and tries to phone home, but gets a busy signal because bart and lisa are making a crank call to moe's bar...which is a classic, bart and lisa: "is there a seymore butts there?" moe, announcing to his patrons, "hey is there a butts, a seymore butts here? HEY! I WANNA SEE-MORE-BUTTS!" laughter ensues, and moe hangs up after making homicidal threats via sticking a telephone or something up barts ass and then pulling it out his nose, dragging his innards along for the ride (i made that up, i cant remember the actual threat. there was one made though, i can say that.). homer, saddened and feeling neglected by his family who has tied up the phone and "obviously doesnt care" that he is dying, decides to stay at the bar for a final beer where he says his good-byes and then realizes that home is where he needs to be so he runs...yes runs...all the way home. homer barges through the front, kisses the kiddies goodnight screaming, "there's no time to explain! love you mwa, love you mwa, love you mwa" grabs marge and drags hauls her unstairs to "be intimate". naked and in their bed, she reads him a poem that he didnt want to hear because its sappy, ends up liking the poem, and then has sex with marge...probably fucks her brains out-- ahh ouch! she falls asleep and homer uses this opportunity to say one last goodnigt to the kids who are all asleep in their beds. first stop is maggies room. homer says something along the lines of "sorry you wont know me" and moves onto lisa's room where he talks about how he thinks she is smart and all, then he goes to barts room. i love this part. he cant think of anything else to say to bart so he says, "i like your sheets" (bart has crusty the clown sheets). anyhow, homer goes downstairs and grabs a walkman, the real ones that were made for cassette tapes, and pulls a book entitled "the good book...on tape...narrated by famous sportcaster blah blah blah", otherwise known as the bible, off the shelf and plays the tapes in the walkman. here is the climax. he falls asleep, but we dont know that because we only see him from behind, for dramatic purposes of course. it looks like he goes limp anyhow. the morning comes, the good book is read (sort of symbolic to reading his last rites), and marge finds him motionless on the armchair he was sitting in. she runs over to her possibly dead husband, crying of course "oh no! homer!", only to discover the drool hanging from he corner of his mouth is still warm. she shakes homer who awakens and has a revelation that he vows to "live everyday to its fullest". they embrace and then it cuts away to homer sitting on the pink sofa, hypnotized by the television, with a greasy bag of potato chips and a can of duff beer in hand for the entire duration of the ending credits. he does not move, save for his chewing and the alternating arms swing from his side to his mouth, bringing either chip or beer to his lips. the end.

ps, your post was fucking hilarious. i love how you ended up in a fetish resort with buddha dildos, which you innocently and blindly stumbled upon.
anyhow, i have to getback to studying. i think i just took an hour of a break recapping that simpsons episode for you.

pps, hatchet, im glad youre alive. you and homer simpson are officially star-crossed lovers.

at least you are still having the same kind of trips that we used to have when going to new orleans. love ya

hey mark, you douchebot wheres my tape?