So I did make it to my hostel allright, and in order to stay for free, ended up making breakfast for the hostel for about an hour, and i got to stay for free. Not too bad, and everyone liked my pancakes, so I'll open up a chain, and the first day of business you can all come and have free pancackes on me. Well not ON me, but you know, for free

I didn't stay too long in melbourne, as I had booked tickets straigh to Tasmania and I knew I would come back here eventually.

So after arriving back from Tasmania, I found work at this hostel called the Oslo Hotel. Not a bad place by name, but I swear to god it might be the grossest place I've ever stayed in. I only came here becuase they said they had work for me, but when i got here the guy said they don't have anything yet...one look around told me he's a freaking idiot if they didn't need a cleaner..but whatevs....it's taken several days to notice all the top qualities this place has including the following...

1) MASSIVE blood stain on the bed on top of me, seriously it looks like someone was murdered here. Aint no amount of blood legally amount to come out of person the way the size of the stain is..

2) Gigantic rat in the kitchen, which apparently they know about

3) Bedbugs in the room next to mine, which they say are mosquitoes...uhh..

4) Carpet that gets your feet dirty by just walking three steps

5) A stove in the kitchen which you have to use pliers to turn it on, and when you do, sends up a huge flame like an atomic bomb..so if you didn't know this, yes your face would be burned to crusty bits.

6) no soap supplies in the bathroom

7) dark dank rooms that smell like funk and wagnalls

8) windows and curtains that DON"T work

9) moldy bathrooms

10) barely any heat

but why am i still there you ask? for some god awful reason i just kinda want to stay there. call it the place, the timing, and the people you are with. it's not TOO bad.. they actually hired me to do some cleaning once in a while to stay for free. so yes, if ANYONE comes to the oslo, just...just leave. don't. even the free bananas, apples, and mandarins they offer aren't worth it. But if you like huge blood stains, then stay in the girls dorm on the bed closest to the door. I'll leave you a couple bed bugs..

oh yes, number 11) if i manage to not find work cleaning, at least I can utilize the handy prostitute service outside the hotel. Basically pretty awesome hookers walk up and down the street...but i must admit, they are not as plentiful as the men who drive up and down the street, do the infamous u-turn when they don't find what they are looking for, and turn away. Trust me, i have had plenty of fun watching this u-turn debacle outside my hostel window. I play this game..."he is going to turn, no he doesn't look like a sleaze, holy shit the blinker is on, he's turning..oh wait..he's just really going down the street..phew...HA no he actually did the u-turn...THE SLUT-TURN...YOU SCUMBAGS!" hahahah aint life grand!

Im just milling around Melbourne at the moment, using free internet at the library since it's quite a luxury..and really pissed that my camera is broken. Yes my friends, it is currently out of service. Why you ask? Becuase I'm a jerk and an idiot and i don't learn from my mistakes. What exactly am i rambling on about?

okay well about a month ago, you might have heard a noise coming from the heavens. That was me screaming my lungs out as my MP3 player fell off a banister into a hot spring in New Zealand. My life flashed before my eyes. All and everything I've ever known to be truth, beauty, honesty and above all freedom, was laying in the bottom of a hot spring. I just dove in there and grabbed it, and watched as water dripped out of it. Immediately i thought, oh god i have to get a new one today, i can't not have music. ever. So I waited a couple days before turning it on again, just to make sure I woudln't short out the battery, and it worked! It was still on the same Elliot Smith song. So similiary, you might have heard the same noise about a week ago. This time more out of anger and frustration as I once again put my camera up on a banister and it fell into a creek. I wasn't so lucky this time. It does turn on, but won't do anything. At least the pictures on the memory card are okay, but now im out of a camera. I definately need to replace it soon as Im soon heading up through Ayers Rock (uluru for anyone who cares to know the real name). So wish me luck, pray for me argentina, and send me some $$ !!!!