feelin blue.

I've never felt sad before in my life. sure I've felt depressed at the loss of a loved one, broken hearted when rejected, dejected when i lose at something i cared about... but i've never, ever felt sad. well, if this IS sad. it sure fits the word BLUE perfectly though.

sitting in my room, looking at what's left of it, sifting through notes left by frens on my door, memorabilia from everest, things given to me by people i care about... I've led a full life here. des was here just now, he wanted a shelf. he helped me pack my clothes into a box yesterday, and i was looking thru them to see which ones i would keep, and which i would throw - and he noticed that i kept the old ones, the ones that were yellow, torn to bits, unwearable but by the most chic fashion house in the slums of Somalia. but these are the ones that matter, the old tshirt i wore to my first ODAC camp. the jacket i bought when me and the girl i loved went to KL for a weekend. the tshirt my good buddy bought for me when he was in NZ. the wonderful memories begin to swell and the tsunami of emotion washes over my heart. looking through old photos i've had to stop many a time to breathe else choke on my tears.

i don't know what to say, I'm pretty sure i'm rambling by now. there is this painting that sits in front of me right now, of some travellers sitting by a river, painted by a good friend of mine who sits at the peak of st paul's hill in malacca. my best friend framed up the painting and gave it to me for my birthday, and it says right now more than it ever said before, about travelling, and how i've sat next to the river too long. its time to get up and leave

thanks for the memories