The Misadventures of Joey Tafuro

I remember telling a nice story about enjoying danger and not worrying about death while traveling.

Well, karma didn’t like my laughing in the face of danger and punished me full and well. I rented a motorbike this morning and headed into Hat Rin Town from the bungalow I am staying at in Ko Pha Ngan to find accommodation closer to the full moon party. I was warned about the hills on the island and to take them very slowly. I was going to rent one the night before but opted to wait for morning. I got up early to avoid heavy traffic and have the road mostly to myself. I have never done left side driving and psyched myself out. I took a curve very slowly but hit the front brake too hard and the bike went underneath me.

I’m not sure how the fall looked but It didn’t feel all that great. I slid a few feet arms first and then face planted into the concrete with the bike pushing forward and bending my leg, luckily, in the natural direction. The first driver who witnessed it was a foreigner on bike as well and he didn’t stop or even glance over to see if I was ok. Then a couple right behind him stopped and helped me get the bike out of the street. I was slow getting up but when I did I let them know I was ok and that it looked like I just burned myself pretty bad and no back or limb breakage. The women gave me her water bottle and the guy drove my bike with me on the back to the clinic. I think the worst of it was my right leg which I lost a few layers of skin and they had to use scissors to cut it off. My left forearm has the biggest scrape in length but it doesn’t look too deep.

Apparently motorbike accidents in Ko Pha Ngan are common and they got me cleaned up very fast. The nurses were extremely comforting and informative even if they were barefoot. No shoes allowed in the clinic. There was a single fan blowing in the room where they were working on me. Flies were attacking my wounds before they could wrap me up. And the best part was the poultry that I heard behind the building somewhere. All in all it was a good experience considering the situation. They gave me some antibiotics and pain killers and sent me off. I have to go back for the next 2-3 days to get cleaned up and re-bandaged.

Lesson learned. I don’t know what I was thinking getting on a bike in the first place when so many terrible things have happened to people I know on them. I guess when you travel you try new things and become a bit more daring. I will choose my adventures more carefully. Maybe skydiving or bungy jumping!

Again, I’m completely fine with just a bruised ego and some nasty burns. Don’t feel too bad for me because I am on a tropical island in a bungalow with plenty to do even though I can’t swim. There is a free pool table, house music playing all day and night, and good people to talk to.

Believe me it isn’t quite as bad as it looks although it still sucks pretty bad.

There isn’t much to do here in Hat Yai. My guide book warned against this place as just a transport hub with no real charm to it. There aren’t any sights and I’m tired of sitting at bars drinking so I will write.

My guide book also told me that Hat Yai is a huge sex tourism town and services a lot of men who cross the border from Malaysia for an evening of fun. I am happy to report that I have not been approached and overall it has been a pleasant experience. The tuk-tuk (mini-taxi) drivers are the only hassle I see so far but even they are mildly aggressive.

I decided to check up on the news of this area seeing as though the US and British embassies advise against travel to the deep south provinces of Thailand. Last week 31 bombs went off in some of the surrounding provinces. It turns out last 2006 there were a string of 6 bombs that went off here killing 20 or so people including tourists. Thailand is 90% Buddhist with the rest mixed with hindu, muslim and christian. The extreme south, where I am now, starts to blend Thai and Malay culture and seeing as though Malays are Muslim as a whole, things get nasty. I have heard that the south actually wants to secede from the rest of Thailand. So far all they have accomplished are mall, shopping center, hotel and ATM machine bombings set off from motorcycles that are ignited don’t really have a fear of traveling to unstable destinations. I was perfectly comfortable with Daisy in DR Congo, never felt threatened in Ethiopia let alone anywhere else in Africa. I guess if something is going to happen there isn’t much I can do about it and I sure as hell won’t avoid a destination just because my government either doesn’t want me there for my true well-being or just doesn’t want my money being spent here.

There is relative peace and safety in almost every part of this world. With the exception of a short list of destinations that the British embassy is VERY good at supplying travelers with. For example during the Israeli bombing of Lebanon or the actual war compaign in Iraq or the civil war in the Ivory Coast. I have read stories and heard of people being perfectly fine traveling to northern Iraq, Iran, Syria and a handful of other “hot spots”. Granted I have NO desire to visit Iraq myself right now and have no purpose to anyway but the point is our media in the U.S. likes to show all the terror, horror and death but won’t tell you about how peaceful Somililand and Puntiland in northern Somalia are right now and that all it takes is applying for a visa before arrival and you can enjoy a beautiful culture that rarely anyone sees.

I was having a drink earlier and thinking about life like I normally do when I forget to a bring a book out with me. I noticed a cockroach making its way across the street. It was like watching someone play frogger except I actually had a vested interest in the little bug. I was rooting for him to make it and he stopped a few times and went back and then to the left and then back to the right and forward. He liked to occasionally stop and not do anything. I guess he thought if he stood still and let the cars go by him than he would miraculously end up in safety on the other side to go do whatever it is he was trying to do. He made it about half way across and stopped moving again and then BAM!, he was smacked pretty hard and flipped on to his back wiggling around. It really broke my heart to see him get hit because I truly did want him to make it. I thought maybe he could just flip himself over and finish the job but then along came a truck and smashed his body straight across the road.

Point of my story you ask? Nothing profound. I just don’t wanna be walking across the street someday and get hit by a car. That would suck. Far too much to see and experience. Or no, maybe I’d rather get hit while I’m moving around rather than stuck in one position. Or no, maybe because he stopped moving, he got hit?

Or in the immortal words of Andy Dufresne “Get busy livin, or get busy dyin”.

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