Joe’s May 2008 Trek

May 7 2008-Flight leaves at 7am on Tuesday.  It will be a real push to get everything done with only 8 hours left before I have to be at LAX.  I walked into the office this morning with a long list of things to finish in the office.  Of course, Time Warner flaked out on internet service, and I spent the first two hours of my day tring to reboot the modem.  The customer support woman in India with her terrible command of English was of course very cheery in her high pitched voice, but did nothing to help, and then told me the service tech will be at my office to repair the line on Wednesday.   Well what good does that do me if I am trying to run a business.  Time Warner certainly has gone down hill and over to India since the takeover from Adelphia.  Perhaps it would have been better if the Riga family continued to embezzel company funds from Adelphia as we always received same day service.  Finally, I got to a Supervisor in India who offered me a Tuesday evening repair.  The trick in dealing with these poorly trained monkeys is to demand to speak with someone in the United States.  So after 60 minutes with India, they transferred me to the good old United States.  Trouble was that they erased my file as a means of getting even with me.  The guy finally reviewed my situation and got me an afternoon repair.  But he would not hang up until I gave him a rating of 1-10 (best).  10 was fine as long as I got the repair today.  Since I am writing now from my office, the repair worked and he earned his 10.

I am doing this trip on my own, as Helayne is finishing her last course at UCLA to ger her CFP Certificate so she can sit through the test to become a Certified Financial Planner.  So if anyone is looking for the party scene with a group of hot middle aged women talking literary reviews, head out to Malibu while I am gone.  My flight because it is frequent flyer miles goes LAX to Boston (where I may see my Dead Head Show Partner at the airport layover), then onto London to Rome to Tel Aviv.  Talk about torture!  Thats what I get for grabbing a last minute frequent flyer ticket.  I will be in Tel Aviv for three days with my two sons who are there for six months on work stints.  After three days, I am flying to Athens, Greece and on to the Northern part of the Country for a visit with friends for a couple days before I start my train trip to Bulgaria, Hungary and Poland.   More on the train trip later.  The big problem that I am trying to cope with is that I am going through Heathrow in London which you may have heard the new Terminal 5 has its opening bugs that they can’t seem to work out.  In the month that the new Terminal 5 has been open, the majority of luggage has been lost.  The solution that British Air created was to ship half of the bags to Nashville Tennesee to have Federal Express sort out the baggage mess, and the other half to Milan where they have another warehouse to sort out the mess.  As a result, all of the care packages that I am bringing-all 65 pounds of that large duffel bag are being checked, and I am bringing my suitcase on the flight so I don’t get bagged.  So to speak.  Hopefully, the checked bag will get some frequent flyer miles if it goes to Nashville en route.

I was pulling all the supplies yesterday and I feel like a pack horse bringing provisions to the moon.  The boys need Skype microphone headsets for the computer VOIP, external hard drives and summer clothes.  Of course, they left with winter clothes and now its 95 degrees there.  Oh shit, I just remembered that I forgot to buy the sex wax or whatever it is for Josh’s surf board in Tel Aviv.  One more thing to add to the list of do!  I spent Sunday running around looking for gifts to bring to the friends in Israel and Greece.  You’d think they can get the same crap made in China that we get here!  

On top of that, I received a large care package from Universal Studio from Jacob’s friends comprised of the newest release DVD’s and CD’s that only adds another ten pounds to the load.  Then of course Josh needs every issue of Road and Track, Vanity Fair, Variety, Los Angeles Magazine, New Yorker  and a dozen paperbacks that have been delivered since they left LA.  Of course, Helayne is adding the Jewish Journal to the basket strapped to my back.

So the challenge is to get home, pack my stuff, remember my tickets and passport and make certain I get on this 7am flight to Boston.  I have lots of reading materials for the flight(s). 

As soon as I wrote last night that the internet in the office is restored, the modem get fried. Now I am running at 8:45pm to Best Buy and get om the phone with time warner technical support. Of course the new modem is not responding and its now 10:30pm. The tech people now on Monday night claim no one can come to the office until Friday. Time to turn it over to Helayne to see if she can find their jugular. Flight to boston pretty uneventful although I am battling a cold I picked up in Napa last weekend. I used the earplanes which are modified earplugs you use to equalize the cabin pressure. Plane lands and they are stuck in my ear canals. I walk through the airportwith these fricken things to far in my ears. Of course in post 911 world, tweezers not allowedat the airport. Finally I get a coffee stir stick and I must have looked like the biggest fool standing in rest room trying to get this crap out of my eats. But it worked. Next flight to London Heathrow with my carry on entourage of all the baggage I can get by the gate attendant. All that people here talk about is the weather and the large percentage of bags lost at Heathrow. This clearly has the makings of a true adventure.

Flights are numerous-LAX/Boston/London/Rome/Tel Aviv.  Enough Already!

London Heathrow New Terminal 5 is an impressive shopping mall.  Multiple floors of shopping mall from Prada to Ferrari to Cuban Cigar stores and everything in-between.  Had a wonderful Scottish breakfast at 8am of Salmon, eggs and McMurphys stout on tap.  Six hour layover trying to stay awake.  Arrived in Rome and picked up my checked luggage which had to be rechecked to El Al as they are probably the only airline that does not trust any one else’s security……for good reason.

Checking into El Al means you go through their multi step security process. 
First thing is the psychology security interview with the pretty Psychologist who is looking for a panic attack.  Why are you going to Israel?  Who are you visiting?  Have you been there before?  What street are you going to?  Do you speak Hebrew?  Why not?   When were you last here?  On and on and on.  Then luggage inspection which is full and comprehensive opening of all the care packages and the linings of every piece of luggage.  You can’t get mad at them as you know why they are doing this.  It is a real threat everyday.  But El Al has never been jacked or bombed because of the Israeli model of security.  Then on to recheck of my bags.  Because of the Heathrow Terminal 5 chaos, I had carried on my suitcase through all three prior flights and I only checked the big duffel bag with the Chanukah Quanza gifts for the boys.  But this is El Al.  No, my Tumi cannot go on the plane “But I have carried it on every international flight for ten years.  It fits in the overhead.”  No, it is too big and too heavy.  Not on El Al means don’t screw with us or you can go back and talk to our soldiers with their big machine guns.  Arguments about logic mean nothing with these people.   But it was nice not to carry on other than my tote briefcase.  Oh to legitimize.

Arrived in Tel Aviv airport at 2:30am.  Went through customs and hopped in a cab.  Nice Russian guy.  When we approached the City now it is 3:15am as we go through a lit intersection arriving in the City.  So he says in his broken English:  You want to take any of the girls to the hotel, I can negotiate good price.  “Welcome to Israel!”  Now I have Russian pimps driving my cab.  No, just take me to the hotel I have been traveling for the last 36 hours.  The hotel lobby is empty and the night clerk does not even help me with my bags off the clerk.  His name is Igor, also from Russia.  Here is my confirmed reservation number.  Same broken English.  You have a reservation, but we do not have a room.  But you are lucky, some people just left we will clean it.  You stay in the lobby here and I will call you.  Well what does that mean…its 3:30am and no room.  So I sit in the lobby and nurse a beer for the next hour until I get in the room at 4:30am.  The boys call and we make plans for them to come to the hotel at 9AM. 

Now Israel has not changed them enough for me to expect them to show at 9AM.  They call from the lobby at noon and wake me up.  Up to the room and open their care package duffel bag with all the things they miss from the US.  Sunscreen that is not overpriced as in Israel, computer hard drives, skype headsets, summer clothes, sex wax and lots of food snacks.  Turns out that the size large clothes do not fit Jacob because he has thinned out not having his fast food of LA. 

We went across the street to the beach which was packed as today is a National Holiday being Israeli Independence Day.  Everyone was waiting for the start of the Air Show which was not a disappointment.  The show of the Israeli Air Force was impressive.  Hopefully the photos will upload to this blog.  After the 1pm show, we lounged at the beach drinking beer and swimming with Josh and Jacob’s new cadre of friends from around the world.  Great kids.  Josh and Jacob each have their girlfriends….. Jacob’s from Detroit and Josh from Deerfield, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago (next to Fake Forest Migs-She had the same impression of the closed society in Fake Forrest with their pinkster mentalities).  We dragged the bounty of care package to the boy’s place which they each have their own studio apartments completely wired for internet and ipod broadcasting.  They are in their own element and living a great life here.  Their videos of their escapades were great.  A cruise with their whole group to Turkey, videos of their late nights in Tel Aviv, etc.  They are living a fantastic life here.