Kuala Lumpur: Bombcheck!
Yesterday, I could have eaten at a Chili’s. Or a CPK. Or a TGI Friday’s. Or an Outback Steakhouse. Or a roadside stall selling awesome chicken-and-rice cooked in a claypot — which is where I did eat. And it was awesome. Then I bought a fresh-squeezed guava-apple juice for $0.25.
Yesterday, I went to the Museum of Islamic Arts, the only one like it in the world, and I saw some amazing Koranic calligraphy, as well as some cool artifacts from across the Muslim world. I also learned about many a famed Arab scholar who, to my Western-orientated-and-edumacated self, were amazing to learn about.
For instance, there was Abbas Ibn Firnas, who I think someone should make a movie about. He was certainly a character. He’s best known as the first person in recorded history to attempt to fly. After constructing a giant glider (made with bamboo and feathers), he jumped off a mountainside and actually succeeded in gliding through the air — 1,000 years before the Wright brothers. (The airport in Baghdad is named after him.) This guy was also an avid meteorologist and chemist. When people would come to his workshop, he had rigged up a system to mimic the sound of rain, thunder and lightning — and at night, stars — through contraptions hidden from view. Cool, eh?
And there was this other guy, Al-Khawarizmi, who’s known as the Father of Algebra (but who knew?). He gave value to zero — i.e., used it as a placeholder in tens, hundreds, thousands, etc. He also named it “zero”. And I can’t describe it properly without a diagram, but I’ll show you sometime how the scripting of each number is written (to this day), was developed by him.
So yeah, learned lots there.
I like Kuala Lumpur. I’m spoiling myself today — I found a bargain hotel rate online and checked into a nice place for the night. For tomorrow, it’s off to Borneo! Sarawak! Yeah, going to a national park there called Mulu, where I’ll be doing a jungle trek on “The Headhunter’s Trail”. Eeek! Yeah, it’s only called that because there used to be headhunters there. Used to, past tense. Now, it’s just pythons and tigers and pygmies shooting poison darts. Haha!
Oh yeah, I have another quick story from back in Penang — man, that place was crazy. Or rather, everyone there was crazy. It had a bit of the ole crazy vibe about it, if you will. A kooky convergence. A lot of loose nuts in and among all the closed-up shops.
Anyway, we were sitting outside the guesthouse I was staying at, place called Love Lane Inn, which was (funnily enough) on Love Lane. And Love Lane, as you can probably imagine, was chock full of love. And when I say “love”, I mean ladyboy prostitutes. Yeah: fun. So I was sitting on the front porch area with Hannah, drinking store-bought brandy-and-cokes on the sly, and we’re watching the parade of cars and motorcycles cruisin’ past the ladyboy scene across the street, playing cards. Entertainment for an evening, for sure.
Right next to where we’re sitting is a trash-bin. Not a big trash-bin, more a medium-sized pail, but full of trash. Didn’t notice it at all until Hannah and I see this guy on a bicycle rummaging through it, using a cane or prod of some sort to dig into it and peer inside. And man was this guy a winner. No matter what category of description you use, he’s a winner. A champ.
He looked like he stepped straight out of the movie Brazil. You seen Brazil? You remember Robert DeNiro in Brazil? That’s what this guy was like. He was wearing a white jumpsuit, starch-white, this full-body jumpsuit. Thick glasses with thick rims. He had this big mouth, where his teeth were protruding from all sorts of angles, and a big bushy Indian moustache. I was tipsy enough at this point, and had been in Penang long enough, to not feel any hesitation in asking him, “Um, what are you doing?”
And he stopped, looked at me. Looked at Hannah. Like that, pausing to study each of us, like a squirrel who sees two people looking at him. Head pivoting, jerking side to side. Then he said, in a squirrelly, high-pitched voice that sounded slightly frantic, “Bombcheck!”
Ohhhh… a bomb check. Wait, uhh… whaaaa?
But he rummaged around the pail a bit more without explaining, then hopped on his bike and off he went, apparently to dig through other garbage pails throughout the city to check for, well, bombs. One can only assume.
Of course, as soon as he cycled away, Hannah and I fell into hysterics. I mean, what the fuck was that all about? I don’t know, I guess it doesn’t seem as funny when I write it down. I won’t say “you had to be there” — I won’t. But man, that shit was funny.
Bombcheck, indeed.
Tags: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Penang
ismateo
After reading about Abbas Ibn Firnas, I need to be reminded again: why exactly do certain absurd (if it weren’t so damned serious) American officials think that we Westerners have all the answers, are any brighter or more creative than our Arab brothers and sisters? This guy is inspirational and it’s criminal that we (in general) haven’t heard about Flying Firnas before!
Continue to share your adventures —
We miss you!
Wait – so the guy “rigged up a system to mimic the sound of rain, thunder and lightning — and at night, stars”???
Am I the only person left wondering what stars sound like?