This will be my penultimate blog - yes I’m afraid so. I will terminate my voyage on Saturday in Southampton, where I will meet my wife (that’s if we recognise each other) and then pay a quick visit to my Mum’s. Should be back home a few days later when I will do a final blog (yes, yes , I know but it has to end somewhere - I can’t keep on blogging forever)
Here it is
The first morning I woke up and got up quite early, ready to have a fried breakfast, a wander round the boat – that will take two days – and then to study the activities that are available for the day. Breakfast was good, although ate too much, Discovered the library, where there are some Internet terminals – what ! 50 cents a minute – that’s ……. that’s $30 per hour ! But I take at least an hour every day just updating my blog. Here I should state that I had intended using the cruise to catch up on the account of my epic train journey as well as a daily report of events on the boat. The budget was getting very tight by this stage and a quick calculation said I was going to spend $200 just blogging. “ Aah come on you miserable old sod ” I can hear you say, but don’t forget I’m supposed to be relaxing and winding down and ……..oh go on then, I’ll see what I can do.
2 :15 Table-tennis competition – adults only ( sounds interesting ) Yeh , put me down for that . Well I went along to this, got drawn against an american who knocked me out in the first round – he went on to lose in the final – serves him right.
Realising you were a few hours ahead of me I went back to the library to see if I had any E-mails. Now when I say I went back to the library, I did, but not quite directly. One of the slightly annoying things about this super liner, is when you start at the right end of the boat but think you are at the wrong end and walk the full length of corridor past 280 cabin doors until you get to the right end which is of course the wrong end and you go upstairs to the library only to discover its the art gallery, and the bloody library is 280 cabin doors back where you came from. I must admit to doing this on more than one occasion. What’s the position tonight for dining. I see I have been invited to dine in the late sitting ( 20:30 which suits me ) and there is a place for me in the Brittania Suite – table 308. Dress Code is ‘Elegant Casual’ which is defined as ‘Jacket and tie’ for men ( a bit more restricting than for the women who only have to refrain from wearing jeans ). Well that’s tough, ‘cause I ain’t got either. I do however have a brand new pair of trousers, and shoes, which you may remember I bought in Macy’s in San Jose especially for this occasion. So with my smart new pale-pink shirt ( bought, you’ve probably forgotten, on a street in Mumbai) I thought I looked presentable and passable. I did go and see the ‘Maitre D’ to check my attire was not going to cause any major ruptions, heart attacks, or howls of derision, and he said it was fine, as long as no other guests complained, which luckily for them they didn’t. During the week there were two other nights like this when I dined at table 308 which was made up of an english couple celebrating their Diamond Wedding anniversary, a couple from New York – she was a judge, he was a writer, and a third couple, an american and his wife from Cuba. During the three nights we had some quite interesting conversation, in spite of some hearing problems with the octogenarians, they were shall we say, pleasant company.The dress code for the other three nights was ‘Evening Dress and Ball Gowns’ so I decided not to push my luck, but to eat on the upper decks in one of the three restaurants where you could dine in more casual attire . The food in all the restaurants was excellent, particularly considering the numbers that were being catered for, and the range from ‘Haute Cuisine’ to ‘Thai Chicken Curry’ to ‘Pasta with giant Mussels’ to ‘Fish and Chips’ and ‘Bangers and Mash’ in the Pub at lunch-time, meant you could eat what you felt like eating at any meal time. As I’ve mentioned the Pub, I will admit to spending the odd hour or so there both before and after dinner, usually on the same bar stool with my own personal bowl of nibbles, drinking a glass of rather excellent draught Boddingtons ( before dinner ) or an Amaretto on ice (after dinner). By Tuesday both girls behind the bar knew me by name and charged my account without needing to see my card.On Tuesday I woke up at 05:45 ? It feels later than that – in fact my watch was upside down and it was actually 12 :15 ! ” Bloody Hell, I’ve missed breakfast”, was my first thought. My second being ” Bloody Hell, I’m going to miss lunch if I don’t get moving”. I think my body was giving me a message because on the following day I didn’t wake up until 11:30. I was in an inside cabin with no windows, sorry portholes, which didn’t help. So on Thursday I slept with the bathroom light on and set my alarm.
In the afternoon I went along to the first of two lectures / talks by the scriptwriters Dick Clement and Ian le Frenais whose successful works include The Likely Lads, Porridge, Auf Viedersein Pet ? and several others. They talked about how they worked together and some of their experiences in England and the US. At the end of the Question and Answer session I went to speak to Ian le Frenais. I introduced myself and said that I believed he knew my step-father. ” How old do you think I am” he cried. I said that my step-father wasn’t a lot older than me and his name was Mike Thompson. He looked at me disbelievingly and said ” He was one of my best friends”. He continued saying that he must have met my Mum at a friend’s wedding. “Did you like him?” he asked me. ” I loved him” I said .
My poor performance on the table-tennis table continued through the week with me getting knocked out in the first round every day. I did however star on the DVD which they produced for this particular cruise winning a point in a match with a deft forehand chop.
I met quite a few people who were interested in what I had done and wanted my blog details. Talking of which I found out the other day that there are on average nearly 400 of you blogees out there which absolutely amazed me,.I know all my friends have been following my travels but God knows who the other 395 are
Well we left New York in a sizzling 99°F but from Tuesday the week continued with unfortunately poor weather, so there was no sunbathing, although some folk lay out on loungers under a glass roof and wrapped up in cardies and towels. So it was a daily routine of eating, blogging, eating, drinking, playing table-tennis, going to lectures, wandering around looking for somebody to bore with my story, sleeping (optional), blogging, drinking, eating, drinking, and relaxing doing all of these.
Friday night finally arrived and I elected for “ self -help express disembarcation ” which is not a quick way to do yourself in, but the speediest way to get off the boat. It meant carrying your own luggage, which , as I had been doing that for the previous 11 weeks, wouldn’t be a problem. The boat docked on time at 07:00 and I was back on dry land at 07:30
Thank you Queen Mary and thank you Cunard for providing a memorable end to a memorable journey
