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September 03, 2004

me now.

me? who cares? me. i just write this as a public journal, cause i think i'm smart and figure out stuff that matters to me and maybe they matter to other people too. if you don't like it don't read it.

Hi. I'm 28. I'm married (almost a month now). I have a dog (Foxy lady Woolston) and a cat (spaz samurai figoro Woolston). I live in a nice 2 story, two bedroom apt./townhouse kind of deal. I'm broke and I'm jobless.
I just read this book by A.C. Weisbecker called Cosmic Banditos. It was really funny, and it reminded me to avoid getting sucked into the culture that is cultivated so rampantly in the united states. I don't care to be actively against the man, or against the system right now. I don't care about the starving in Africa anymore. Or to say, I just don't plain care very much for most of the world. It's just gone too far it seems. Even the people that were left as a remnant of who or what human beings could be, such as wandering nomadic tribes of the african deserts, or bush people, or aborigines, or the hobos of the U.S. Any number of different people that knew to just leave the rest of em alone and live live simply and happily. Even these people are now being sung the lullaby. Even these people are worrying about their contribution to society. They all want a piece of the popular pie. I don't care.
I just read a book called Eragon, written by a 15 or 16 or 17 yr. old kid from Montana. It's science fiction/ fantasy emphasis on the fantasy. I loved it. It wasn't written as stylistically or, ummmm, with the same sense of voice as others, but with a simplicity that really pulled me in. It's labled young-adult fiction. fitting. I really got sucked in and delved into my own adventures in Montana as a 15 or 16 or 17 yr. old. I really opened a lot of doors there. There's really something peaceful about getting a little older. There's more terrifying stuff than anything I think. Like the fact that I don't care. That's pretty terrifying to me, considering the amount of energy that I put into my mid twenties anti-establishment ideals.
But then again that's all they were, ideals.
Part of me feels that I should care. I just want no part of this culture. I just want to have a little farm with my wife and my psycho cat and my dog and maybe, someday, a kid, and a couple of nice jobs for us so we can survive and never have to watch crappy T.V. again.
The big problem with that is that the T.V. is on everywhere I go. I went hiking the other day and there it was walking toward me on the trail. I went to get groceries and in every ailse there was a walking talking television. We are all just T.V. ads with opposable thumbs.
We are all singing the lullaby.
ahh, no worries though. something'll come along and change that idea in my head, and all will be well. i'm still smiling anyway.

Posted by Colin on September 3, 2004 10:08 AM
Category: me me me

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