Paris to Bangkok
La to A-dam!
Madison to Chicago
Last 10 Days
Here we Go!
October 07, 2003
It's been about a month of learning since I wrote last, and so much and so little has happened. I working as much as possible, and still finding that I'll never be able to save enough money up...hehe, not like that's gonna stop me tho...
I leave on Nov. 8th for Los Angeles and Nov. 13th from LAX to Amsterdam. . .
Due to a lot of financial bad luck, I know I can't last long in Europe, plus my Peace corps assignment has been moved up to early spring, soooooo I'm going almost straight to Thailand from Europe. I figure a couple of days in Amsterdam, a week in Paris and I'll head to Bangkok...With the money I have now I can last two months in Thailand, and prices will be better at that time of year anyway.
Not that I was in the pits really lately, but the closer I get to my departure date the stronger my emotions get, the better my outlook on everything is...and the better I feel...It's a good experience, and all the better becauase I'm doing it on my own. I have a couple friends left here, and I've met tons of people, but the truth is that there isn't anyone here for me to really talk with. At first I felt pretty lonely, but for real, I'm fun as hell so why not just hang out with myself and maybe some people whom I click with will show up soon...and as always, when I let go an just make the best of it---things start workin...
I haven't really found any people to hang with yet, but I've met random people at the right times and have had my spirits lifted when I needed it most.
Forget about it...that story's ending and the new chapter's are comin in for editing.
Right now I'm kinda tripping on the no money thing...grrr. don't know what else to say about it. hope i can find work is all, hehe.
ok, soooo...what the hell am i trying to figure out? how to be the best possible human being I can be, while having the best possible time I can have, and experiencing as much stuff as I am able.
It's a long road being a conscious human being sometimes, i think. I notice how little I have in common with so many people sometimes, than I realize that that's ego and I open again....it's a total cycle of learn/forget-learn/forget. see what I mean? most people I meet are so worried about their outfit/mortgage payments/children/future/past/dog's teeth/school/car/phone bill/hernia that to have a decent conversation in which some actual information or sentiment is conveyed is almost possible. I miss being able to have conversations like that...conversations that at least felt like they meant something.
maybe it's just getting older? the pipe dreams of before kind of fade into an assimilation of reality? I'm to much of a pragmatist to be into pipe dreams...but what is it about getting older that makes things less bright and crisp? my dreams are still here, and my goals still in sight...but I feel embittered towards other people here at times. is that cool to be frustrated with people for being silly, when It's the majority of the people? does it matter?
hmmmm. some people have called this the 27 syndrome. the "where am I going and what am I doing"thing. man I hope it's just a phase thing cause this whole life deal just keeps on getting more and more confusing the more I figure out...
to those of you that get it--let's all point at those furrowing confused brows and throw tomatoes.
Posted by Colin on October 7, 2003 03:03 PM
Category: me me me