Hide your love, hide your love. Though we are so far apart, you'd better hide your love.

Hello again, my friends! I want to take this opportunity to describe, in further detail, daily life in this region in hopes to paint a more vivid picture of my travels for you, the reader. First, I'd like to thank you for your comments here and for the e-mails I have been receiveing. Today, I read some great ones, some of which even made me laugh out loud (thanks Jihad). Okay, yadda yadda yadda...

On top of the world...in Pai Canyon.

The climate here is not as I expected. Of course, I anticipated hot, sunny weather and clear skies, which I am enjoying, but I also expected it to be much more humid. Rather, this region of Thailand reminds me of Central Oregon, except that the juniper forests have been replaced with decidious trees of which I am unfamiliar. The difference in temperature between day and night is extreme; it reminds me of the desert. Yeah, no crap, it gets cold here at night! I wear a long-sleeve shirt, light jacket, slacks and a beenie, and am still shivering under my blanket. Yeah, I know, I need to take my panties off and quit whining.

I talk to the trees, but they don't listen.

Chadwick Rhynalds: "Bring on the malaria, you goddamn sissies!"

Toilets are interesting in Thailand. They range from vile to pretty good by Western standards. Regarding toilets, my reading had me expecting nothing but a hole in the ground over which to squat and drop, followed up by a hand-cleansing with the left hand. That is true for some remote regions of the country, but thus far I have most often encountered familiar Westernized toilets. The only "special" addition is the sprayer next to toilet which allows you to thoroughly blast your nether-regions before gently dabbing yourself dry with a some of T.P.

Showers are unlike those at home. For one, they are all, in my experience, unfixed so that you are empowered with total spraying freedom. They are also almost always unheated (of course, I've only been staying in the budget places), so you spray, turn off the water and lather up, rinse, and repeat if necessary.

I'd like to discuss a subject near and dear to my heart: food. Yes, those who know me well know my passion and insatiable appetite for culinary delights. Here in Thailand, you can get just about everything and it is almost always made very well. I have sampled all sorts of traditional Thai dishes, pizza, Middle Eastern cuisine, American classics, etc. all made very well and all unbelievably inexpensive. By inexpensive, I mean f--kin' cheap, yo! For example, one of my favorite places in Pai, Na's kitchen, serves up some of the most fantastic meals ever ranging in price from 20-40 baht (that's 50 cents to 1 dollar). I still can't believe it. Much of the time, I just visit street vendors who serve a wide variety of dishes from their stands. Sausages, roti (a pancake filled with just about anything you want), chicken-on-a-stick, etc. sets me back from 5-15 baht per item. The best part is the Thais don't cut corners on the quality compared to America (fast food joints).

Okay, the food ain't always so appetizing. Ants and wasp larvae, sir?

I definitely did not expect to see so many stray dogs and cats wandering the streets. Perhaps the Thais don't belive in exterminating them due to bad karma being built up?

You little scumbag! I've got your name, I've got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers; I will teach you! Now get up, get on your feet!

The "square community" should skip this paragraph because I am about to discuss details of the most misunderstood and under-appreciated substances in America: ganja. Yeah, everyone calls it "ganja" here, not "nugs," not "buds," not "reefer." It is cheap and very easy to obtain. We buy it from hill-tribe folk who sell it out up near the waterfalls. They also offer opium, cocaine (LATE ENTRY: I have been informed that it isn't cocaine they're selling, which wouldn't make much sense anyway, but powderized heroin that is snorted) and some other whacky stuff, but I have no desire to participate in any of those. The quality of the ganja here is not even close to that of the Northwestern United States, but it is effective enough. I would describe the high as more of the thought-provoking type rather than the "I'm so hungry...I'm so sleepy" type. We typically roll joints without adding anything else. The Europeans and Israelis find this odd since they are used to mixing theirs with tobacco to create a spliff. I don't really like this method because tobacco tends to harsh my good time with its poisonouse fumes.

Some hero you are if you don't even know what this is...

Now that I have been here in Pai long enough, it is interesting to observe the constant influx and outflux of people. Everyday, you meet some really interesting person but you don't know if you'll see them again the next day. The crew that I was really enjoying left the other day all at the same time, causing some sadness to stir inside. However, that same day we met a new group of nice folks and have since enjoyed spending time with them. It won't be long until we part ways again, I'm certain.

For me, a typical day here in Pai goes like this: I wake up, drink some water and head to my pull-up bar (a large tree branch near the river). I'll pick a number of pull-ups I want to complete, anywhere from 20-50 depending on what I did the day before, and grind them out as fast as possible. Then, I do the same with handstand push-ups, push-ups, squats or lunges, and finish off with hanging leg-raises. After that, I usually walk around on my hands or practice one-armed handstands. I follow my workout with more water, then drop a deuce and take a shower before heading out for a cheap and satisfying breakfast. Lately, I have been enjoying muesli and yogurt with fruit. The rest of the day I spend lying in my hammock or lawn chair soaking up rays and listening to music (Modest Mouse, Jack Johnson, or Immortal Technique of late), ride the scooter out into the country for a couple hours, or check out the waterfalls. Of course, I consume plenty of food between all these strenuous activities to ensure my energy level stays high. Once night falls, a group of us usually goes out for supper and the drinking begins. Now, I don't drink too much, mind you, but it's always a nice social activity that doesn't require much of anything else. After the bars in town close, we typically head to the Bamboo Bar, which has a few large fires to crowd around, plus alcohol still being served. So there you go-- a simple but satisfying life here in Pai.

At the Bamboo Bar, but who are all those weirdos with the strange faces surrounding me?

More than a few of you have asked me and this is my answer: I have not been "banging" any Thai chicks (to use the parlance of our times) so get it out of your head. There is only one woman for me:

The older the berry, the sweeter the juice: She is my Lisu queen, and I her powerful and courageous chieftain!

Also, for those who wish to personally write to me, my e-mail address is gary.yetter@gmail.com. Okay, I've got to go work on my tan now, so until next time...

"Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will
make it the most agreeable."
Sir Francis Bacon