The Enforcers
The TV licensing people in this country are nasty and vicious people who should have been out of a job by the time ITV was introduced—although I have little doubt that they will go on to find gainful employment as debt collectors or enforcers.
However, they are not out of a job just yet, quite the opposite. There is big money at stake. Not only does the license fee increase by a minimum of 12% a year, but license evaders are slapped with 1000£ fines. Over a thousand of these are caught allegedly every day—that’s a million bucks. Big money. Big stakes. No, they are not soft.
One of these ghastly individuals has threatened to pay us a visit, or should I say Visit in a letter framed in red, which opens as follows: We have warned you previously that your address is scheduled for a visit by one of my Enforcement Officers, however we have still had no reply.
I needed a stiff drink after reading that. I was close to picking up the phone and plead: “No, please have mercy on us! We’ve only been here for a few weeks! We would have replied earlier—honest—we just never got your letter!” (That might be because there was nobody living here for a year). But what good would that do? I would only be connected to a call centre or a machine and the wheels would grind on mercilessly. For all I knew the enforcement officer was already on his way and might knock on our door any minute.
I rushed upstairs and entered our new details on-line. Phew, that was close…
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Denni