chuggys world tour

Danny, Tucker and me decided to go over to Northern Ireland to watch the NW200 - sounded like a great idea, though with Gillys birthday, we’d actually have to come back BEFORE the racing!!!

anyhoo, we rode over to Stranraer on the Saturday morning - and -after coffee and brekkie sarnies for me and Danny whilst gay Tucker had a Latte and pancake - got ABSOLUTELY drenched in wild rain and winds. Luckily though, we got to the ferry port early and found ourselves on the EARLY ferry rather than the one we expected (our intended ferry ran almost 3 hours late we found out later!!)

we dried off and had coffee on the ferry and by the time we disembarked at Larne (Belfast) the rain was almost stopped. We navigated thru to Hannahstown to stay overnight at Col and Maureens house, where Maureen had cooked a fab beef dinner for us.  A shower each (with Danny using his Lacy Louffa and me finding out that Col has one too!!!)Then it was off to Belfast for a night on the lash!

all well in the morning, Maureen produced the most gorgeous brekkie for us all including poached eggs!!! …what a darling! then after taking an AGE to get ready, we set off to the Dundrod (UlsterGP) circuit for photos and a racing start, then back to Larne and a trip up the famous Coastal road to Bushmills where we had booked a room in the hostel.

as we arrived I asked a guy stood outside a pub, where the hostel was, to which he opened a set of double doors and we rode THRU the beer garden, thru more doors into the hostel courtyard!!!!! PERFECT!!!

we got sorted in our ensuite room

“and then headed out for a beer

and then a walk to the Giants Causeway…..which turned out to be further than we thought so we got as far as the Visitor centre, then stopped, had a beer and got the steam train back!

more beers that night and an expensive - but VERYgood meal at a local restaurant

next morning ans we were up and out for 10am after a brekkie at the copper kettle next door. We rode along the coast to Coleraine then hit the twisties all the way down to Omagh where we had a nice sarnie and more coffee. Then back up to Portrush for a looksee (and to collect the brake fluid we were using to keep Tuckers Aprilia clutch going!) Back on the road we stopped short of Bushmills to checkout the great looking Dunluce castle overlooking the sea (though it should be noted that Danny missed the first turning and Tucker missed BOTH! .,….despite me waving like a loon at the junction!!!

Back at Bushmills we had supper and ……yep, MORE beer. We also met a group from Yorkshire…or was it Lancashire and had a laugh with them (we’d seen them in another pub we’d gone to to watch the football …which wasnt actually ON the TV :$ )

another late night for me and an early night for the two ‘ladies’ then we were up and out to go to the Causeway proper (very nice) and then the rope bridge (which Danny bottled) and then lunch at BallyCastle. A quick ride to Ballymoney (losing Danny on the way and meeting EVERY tractor in the northern hemisphere on the way) we visited Joey’s (Dunlop
) garden memorial then returned to Portrush to the race paddock. We had a walk around the garages and met Les Shand who Danny used to sponsor via his ‘bike bits company Faster By Design, then we headed back to Bushmills to drop off the bikes, get the bus back and watch the racing practice. burgers, doughnuts and coffee later and the practice ended under a red flag (we later learned a rider had crashed heavily. We walked into the town looking for food and beer, but found neither, so got a taxi back to Bushmills and after the LONGEST wait for chips takeaway, ate them in the local pub <thanks> and had a few more beers

Next morning we packed and left the SMELLIEST room in the world (courtesy of Tucker) and headed back down the coast to Larne.

A great trip …but maybe we should stay for the actual racing next year???

so, once Charlie had left - in good health!- I was left in command (!) of Koro camp - fools!

beginningwith 10 students, the numbers dropped as the ’season’ drew to a close, though there was still ots of time for a lot of funa dn some close encounters with ellies!:

one day whilst walking around Stickinyau (sp?) we wandered down towards a spring and found a leopard which had just come up FROM the spring! ..the leopard ran from us so we followed as quick as we could, sadly although we KNOW we were close, we never saw it again

We also found a Kudu Bull carcass, which we tied to the back of teh Landie and drageed up to the Rockies, hoping to lure a predator onto it…sadly there wasno sign over the next few days as the carcass got flattened by maggots.

We also tried to have a sleepout on Halloween: the idea was o stay near the Baobabs nr. Boundary koppie. W set camp and built a fire, started cooking and were generally in great spirits as we watched an electric storm in the distance. Then a Parabutha scorpion appeared and then just as I was about to sit on my rol mat and eat, another 2 appeared! … after all thehubbub and a nice meal we realised that the storm was almost on us! …we packed camp quick as a flash and started to rive off as the first pitterpatter of rain hit us. I volunteered to sit on the tracker seat and as we returned to camp the rain hit us BIG style!!!….. we got lashed by wind and rain as the trees lost branches and leaves and dust and debris flew EVERYWHERE!!!… it was mayhem, but a lorra fun!!

over the next few days we had regular bouts of storms, which drencehed some of the tents and drenched us! ……quite a change and the first time Ive seen the rains here!

Eventually, Toby, Frenchie and Maria left and the camp was quiet.

Stuart and I set to the maintenance of the Landie (new driveshafts, oil,  etc.) and the Hilux (new driveshafts and seals) then we did some general maintenance -pretty busy time for us, whilst Christoph and Katy were busy sorting the camp too.

Annelein left for the familys farm in the middle of the works and eventually me and Stuart followed her down

a couple of days later and I was back at the airport saying goodbyes again 8(

…hopefuly it wont be long till I see them all again 

We were sitting around the boma at Koro camp one afternoon, the day before Charlie and the Trackers were leaving, when Kate (the camp ‘maid’, I guess) ran i, saying there was a snake outside. we ran out to see a Mozambique Spitting Cobra lying inthe grass, with most of a frog sticking out of its mouth.

We watched for a few moments - while I made sure everyone knew about its ability to spit venom, but knowing that with the frog blocking its mouth we were safe…for the moment. charlie then appeared and decided that we should catch/kill it as it was in the camp area. She donned a pair of sunglasses to protect her eyes from any spitting and then using a long stick started to try and catch the snake. At this point I got on the radio to let stuart know we had a snake (he was in the bush on his way back to the house) whilst on the radio, Charlie shouted for me, so I ran back over to her, by which time christoph (Kates hubby) had joinedher and the two of them were in the process of killing the snake. HOWEVER, the snake had spit at Charlie at the same time that she had shoutedfor me - resulting in Charlie getting some of the venom in her mouth!!!! A quick radio to Stuart and Charlie started washing her mouth out whilst climbing in to the Landie the snake carcass was put in and I drove ‘patient’ and the snake up to the house, where Staurt met us, we swapped into the Cruiser and raced for the border. At the border (we always use medical facilities in south Africa) we shot thru the Botswana side without passports - explaing it was a medical emergency and then again thru the RSA side - this time showing them the snake carcass to get them to open the gate quickly.

We managed to get a puncture on the dirt road to Alldays and almost had the car slide off the hi-lift jack!, but eventually reached Alldays where we found we had another puncture! all the time we keeping charlie talking to make sure she was OK - she looked worried and pale, but otherwise seemed not to bad (I think she was complaining her lips were numb not otherwise, OK) we swapped into another car and drove another 50km before meeting up with the ambulance that had been called for us about an hour before!. charlie was loaded onto a stretcher and she and Stuart sped off to hospital, leaving me to get back to Alldays in another vehicle.

that night I had a restless evening in a lodge at Alldays - where the barmaid watched me walking around my cabin nekkid whilst looking for summat to wear before I opened the door (I hadnt realised the door had a big glass panel in it!!!) …she had a message from annelien for me and a bag of clothes and toiletries from the lady who had dropped me off at the lodge (her family own the local store)

anyhoo, next morning I got the punctures fixed and then drove all the way back to Koro to pick up the students leaving and then drove all the way back to the border, where I met up with Stuart and Charlie!!!! she was fine!..the venom had no effect on her and they just kept her in overnight for observation PHEW!!!

Back at Joburg, I met up with Martin and Mark (ACE) and got transferred back to the Botswana border at Platjan. Here I met up with Charlie again who drove me and Frazer (new student) into Tuli letting me sit on the Tracker down to the camp.

I only stayed at the camp for the first night (in the love shack) and then moved up to the house, so Stuart and I could concentrate on prepping for the Tracker course

We set up camp in Lost hills with a tent for each of the participants and then set off to Alldays to pick up Rob, Adam, Lee, Yutte(sp?) Geoff and Guido

they all turned out to be nice guys and we had a lot of fun sorting out haw to organise camp and then starting the tracking.

We did one humongous walk the one day: starting around Lost Hills after some ellies we had heard (but never caught up with) then along to the Rockies and then down to Mamatumi!!! a canny old walk THAT one!…with 42 degrees showing on my watch - in mostly shade! thankfully there was water at Mamatumi, otherwise I think Stuart may have had rebellion on his hands..and a couple of dehydrated corpses!….easy to laugh about it now tho.

Still no ellies, so we moved camp to Lekkerpoet anyhoo. This time we had some success, in finding leopard, hyena and eventually LION track, which we followed for most of the day without actually catching up with the lions…until we got back inthe hilux to leave and instantly the liones was spooted inthe spotlight beam!!!…a nice sighting as she wandered along even sitting and posing for us in the grass!

Back at the camp we were warned by Adam about the ‘flat stone‘ …….we had brought a ‘bucket’ shower which we hung from a tree in the rocks at the bottom of Lekkerpoet hill - 50m from the camp. however, Lee had gone to ’see a man about a dog’ and had walked off into the rocks to find a suitable place - he had just crouched down to …well, you know…when he looked up and realised the shower outlet was dangling right above his head!!!! he’d only managed to find a toilet spot right underneath our shower!!!! too late to move, he did the business and then placed a flat rock over the ‘evidence’  so the rest of us had to actually stand on that rock to have ourshowers that night. YUK!!

Half way thru the course Geoff had to leave us, due to his pacemaker (that we didnt know about!) playing up!!!…bit of a shocker to me and Stuart, but  at least it happened back in Koro camp and not out in the bush

The rest ofthe course went along well with the smaller group getting on well and improving in tracking skills dramatically

Eventually we came to the assessments which took place over 3 days - amazingly both Rob and Lee got Tracker 2 level! (along with Charlie who had joined us for the assessments and also got a level 1 Trail certificate too) I managed a Level 1 Tracker, which I guess is OK, though really I had hoped for better

Well, its been 7 months since I was in Africa - I was missing it

OK, I was missing it AND Stuart at Tuli had emailed me to ask if I would go over and help him run the Tracking course now offered by ACE and then help to run Koro camp after Charlie sadlyleaves it.

16th Sept and I’m off with Virgin to Joburg then by hire car to Kuruman where I met Ikey (in his by now very battered Cruiser) and then to Clive’s farm again ( I was there twice last year with Ikeys ‘lot’) to catch Sable, wildebeeste, kudu and others. Twas nice to see the gang again (Tokman, Des, Hannas) but now with Hannas brother and a new guy Michael. Was also good to see some of the ‘boys’ again - including Rasta, Gunman and Samuel(s). Catching went well with no major mishaps, tho I did get kicked by a darted Sable as we picked it up in a sheet of tarpaulin, which tore freeing a rear leg (the Sable’s not mine)

me and Ikey also skived off and drank lots of coffee in the town whilst the guys were busy building/dismantling the boma …ah well - he IS the boss!

next we were off into the Kalihari - me driving the 4.5l Cruiser with a rhino trailer in tow (another phrase I never thought Id be writing. We stopped at a nice farm with the farm manger (Gideon) and his wife joining us for a braai that night. Next day we were up early (as usual) and catching Kudu, Zebra and Wildebeest..today I was doing 3 jobs: the first red door, the 2nd red door and also the truck door too!

End of the day’s catching but still the middle of the day so we went off to deliver some kudu at a guys farm. Sadly as we released them, one fell from the back of the truck and broke its neck. as everyone got down from the truck, i stayed sitting on top (no-one had said we HAD to get down) at this point the truck started moving…faster and faster till I realised they were actually leaving the farm, not just moving ON the farm!…no bother, I thought, I’ll just stay here and enjoy the rid - which is what I did….until we drive thru the thorn trees. man THAT HURT!! my arm and side got shredded as I was whipped and dragged along the top of the truck….luckily chicks dig scars, eh?

When we left the farm that evening - after a number of beers…we all jumped into a Cruiser pick up (backie) and speeded along the dirt roads back to our lodging - en-route, our driver decided to try and catch a Springbok which was running along the road in front of us…he managed to hit the poor thing (though it was unharmed) but also managed to spin us off the road in the process - another life experience!

Next day we moved to another farm for more catching, however it being my last day with the team, Ikey drove me back to Clives farm to pick up the car and return to Joburg.

just completed my first biking trip on the continent: I had just packed in a job and was looking for somewhere to take my mind of it - a guy I know was already booked for a trip over to the Italian alps (Dolomites) with people he knew, so I tagged along.

We (Tuckerhauser<John>,Colin and me) sailed on the overnight ferry from Newcastle to Amsterdam, arriving at 9am (ish) disembarked and headed for the closest garage for fuel…………….after being breathalysed within the port! (seems to be standard now for vehicles leaving the overnighter) After getting lost in the ‘Dam (even tho 2 of the 3 bikes were fitted with GPS!!!) we headed south thru Germany on the autobahns. Wasnt too bad a trip DESPITE a humongous thunderstorm on the way - oh and we lost Colin at one point and only caught up with him again - after a few texts - to stay overnight in Karlsbad near Karls Ruhe.

We stayed in the “Gruner Baum” hotel, which wasnt a bad place …it sold cold beer (tho I did get stung on the neck by a pretty unfriendly wasp) and had a nice coffe shop nearby where we got cappuccino’s and banana splits (hey, we’re on holiday…and Colin started it!)

next morning we set off again and headed down into Switzerland where after some heavy traffic we stopped in a coffee shop….for Cappuccino…served by a nice friendly fraulien…which was nice. A fairly tedious section of motorway later and we were in Italy !! …where we met the other 5 guys (Brian, Paul, John, Willy and Dave) in a nice hotel in Brunico. We stayed here for 2 nights so that we could explore the local roads and not have to carry our bags with us (not as easy on a sports bike as it is on a BMW GS)

a few lush roads around Cortina (no the place, not the car) and my first real ‘passes’ later and we were thru Bolzano into Bormio where we overnighted at a home for the elderly (hotel Internatiozionale) We had a wander around the town that night and ate free snacks served on an oversize cricket bat(!) and drank cheap beers as the barmaid forgot how many we all had!!! We also tried a route upto the Witches cafe (or summat) on the Austrian border - great single track road controlled by traffic lights.
Next morning was the STELVIO pass - perhaps the best biking or driving road in the world?……..well, it was FAB….we headed up the ‘easy’ way which meant tight hairpins at first gradually opening in to lightly wider and faster corners - REAL good stuff and then reached the top of the pass where you get the photos seen in all the motoring press. it really is a fab ride. the view is incredible. the ride down is pretty hairy with VERY tight hairpins and BIG drop-offs if you get it wrong!!!…be careful of the buses: they do 3 point turns to get around some of the corners! (if you go there, check out the house halfway up the mountain on the right - just above the tree line as you go down….who the hell lives there!!!???) Eventually, we stopped at the town at the bottom for ….cappuccino …and then rode on aiming for Andermatt

at this point it kinda went all wrong, as Tucker ran out of fuel on a german autobahn. 3 of us stopped and I headed off to fill up with fuel and find a siphon tube to fill Tuckers bike with….that was the easy part! Willy (1 of the 3 who stopped) told me to head off along a road to get back along the autobahn - sadly for me, that road went over the mountains and was nowhere NEAR an autobahn, so after riding 55km and getting directions 3 times AND getting caught in a thunderstorm, I returned to where I started and took the autobahn back past Tucker then did a ‘U’ turn on the autobahn to meet up with him. After filling up with petrol (again) We then had to head over the mountains to Andermatt to meet the other guys…..however we got hit with the thunderstorm again - it was TORRENTIAL over the pass, but althought we got soaked and rode DEAD slow, it wasnt as bad as it could have been…I guess…it wa almost (ALMOST) funny!

The hotel we stopped at in Andermatt, was a bit odd - nice from outside, but looked like it last got decorated just before the war….the Crimean was, that is!….it also had two doors to the rooms - a normal door, which opened straight onto another door!?…no idea what that is all about!

In the morning we filled up with petrol and I borrowed a spanner from a guy in a garage to adjust the bike chain (poorly adjusted by me before we left ) Then we headed down a cobble road pass before climbing another pass to some amazing views. the roads here are a proper ‘fest, with the Furka, Sustens, Grimsell and San Gottardo passes all linking up around Andermatt - you could play here for days……which is what John and I did as the other guys headed back for England and left us in Interlaken

We stayed in two separate hotels between the 8 of us as I couldnt afford the expensive one the older guys stayed at, so John and I stayed at the Minerva which was pretty cheap - but wasnt en-suite - HEY! we’re bikers and not supposed to shower anyhoo!!!!! the next day was the departure day for the others, so John and I rode over to Lauterbrunnen (valley of the waterfalls) which was LUSH! incredibly beautiful place - then we retruned to the hotel, changed into something more comfortable and took a train thru the valley and then thru the Eiger mountain (literally) to Jungfraujoch - ‘top of Europe’ at 3571m (11760ft) where we walked out onto the glacier -and got caught in a snowstorm!!! kewl! a pot noodle (odd) and coffee later and we headed back down to town…….course this being August 1st, it was Swiss national day so we were treated to street entertainers and a mahoosive fireworks display on the ‘park’ in the centre of Interlaken! …a great day all around.

Sadly, the trip took a turn for the worst the next day: we were riding aorund the Furka /Sustens passes again having a great time, when I decided to have a bit of a traffic light grand prix from a railway crossing - in the middle of nowhere on the top of a mountain just before the Furka pass……..I got pretty fast - I know this cos the nice policeman at the end of the road took me to one side to let me know just how fast I was going!!! ……he seemd a nice chap, so I donated a MAHOOSIVE amount into the Swiss Police Ball fund…………..

Anyways, next day and we decided to head back towards home - after riding to the valley of waterfalls again and Grindelwald for photos of the eiger (beautiful day) then we headed north on little scenic roads into Germany. we chose well (thank you Obi Wan) and included roads thru Todtmoos up to Schuslsee (sp?) where I had a mahoosive coffee and then followed signs up thru the Black Forest looking for a hotel…….however we saw Hansel and Grettels B&B in the woods so stopped there - lovely old lady (bent double so it would be easier to milk the coos) gave us room in her place and we got on smashing despite her not speaking any english and my german being learnt a couple of years ago (what?) at school. That night we headed off for a walk thru the trees into the middle of nowhere- we thought - until we happened upon some tennis courts and then a hotel - OK so it wasnt RIGHT in the wilds. A fillet steak later and we headed back to the B&B to sleep. Next morning we breakfasted on teh standard cheese, bread, ham and jam with lashings of coffee, then said auf Wiedersehen and headed north again, via Baden Baden (so good they named it twice) and into more lush roads to Luxembourg……

I dont like Luxembourg police.

We got lost looking for a perticklier road, then happened upon it - tho it was partly barriered off…we couldnt understand the signs and there were other cars in front so we slowly rode up the road…to be met by 4 cops, 2 of whom had credit card machines and dutifully took €75 of us for the pleasure of being lost (not just us, there were germans, belgians, dutch and french caught too!) departing a little lighter in the wallet, we stayed at the beautiful little town of Vianden, staying in a smashing hotel in a steep cobbled street right below the chateau. We had a couple of beers here, a meal, a fab shower and booked cheap ferry tickets for Dover from Calais for the Wednesday (today was Monday)

In the morning, we took a real nice ride up the side of the river and then across into Belgium to Champion and Dinante (stopping at Bastogne to take photos of a Sherman tank) after cappuccino (it would be rude not to) we headed onto motorways to get to Ypres where we planned to stay our last night on the continent.

Arriving at Ypres in double quick time, we took some photos of a WW1 memorial march and the Mennim gate then booked ourselves into a B&B for the night. Returning to the town, we attended the 8pm Last Post and then had beers and a meal in the town square - Ypres was a pretty happening place that night - we thought it would be quite morose with all its history, but it seems to have the blend of not forgetting but not dwelling, just about right, I reckon.

Next morning we headed North to the coast and then West to Calais. letting a couple of old guys sit on our bikes for photos at the ferry queue. Sadly that was the end of the nice bit of the trip - the ride back thru England was CRAP!!! diabolical driving (watching a Volvo driver actually try to ram another car off the road on the A14. Still we got home safely…which was nice

In summary: there are some AMAZING roads in Belgium, Germany, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Italy and Austria….Hartside doesnt even come close

so after a night in Zambia, I decided that as I had to get out (visa ending) I might as well get the bus to Windhoek, with Rags……so a quick booking for Intercape buses on the ‘net and 2 hours later we’re sittingon a Mainliner bus…..on a 20 hour bus trip!

We managed to see 2 ellies on the way thru the Caprivi Strip (corridor belonging to Namibia between Angola and Botswana) …these proved to be the only ellies I saw in Nam :^( Me and Rags also had a bit of a moment at an Animal Disease checkpoint: basically you have to get out of the buis and walk across a pad impregnated with some kind of chemical - however no-one had explained that you needed your passport too, so we jumped back on the bus to get them….JUST as the bus drove across its chemical pad and thru the checkpoint…bit of a dilemma now: do we get out, explain to the man with the gun what happened, or just sit tight on the bus?……..we stayed where we were <no problems, phew!>

anyhoo, 20 hours later and we arrived in Windhoek (capital of Namibia) jumped in a taxi with an Irish couple (John and Orla) and proceeded to the Cardboard Box hostel, …where the taxi driver proceeded to drive off with our money before giving us our change!…welcome to Windhoek, eh? anyhoo, the ‘Box’ is a REALLY nice place run by some really nice people too (yes, including Desree <sigh>) I stayed for 3 nights  - only one of which included Rags as she met up with her Norwegian friends (as planend) and did off on a trip and then back to her studies in RSA…WITHOUT ME!!!, anyhoo, I met up with some more Norwegians (what is it with Africa and Norwegians????) and went out for a meal and drinks with my 6 new wives: 3 norwegian nurses, a german kind of teachery thingee, an ozzie and a girl from Salford. We had a great meal at a curry hoos, and then went for drinks at Joes (seems to be the best place to drink in town)…we then gatecrashed a 21st fancy dress birthday party at a nice hotel somewhereorother…which was strange (very strange, actually) anyhoo, I eventually got to bed at about 4am, to we woken by John (Irish fella) at 7 to be told we were off on a 5 day tour in about an hour!

well, man!…what a joke our new ‘guide’ turned out to be: we never actually caught his name, so we renamed him Bob (well actually Orla did) he also had a sidekick called Stephan, who was a nice fella. we off’d in quite a nice smart Toyota minibus to a place where they rehabilitate cheetahs (www.africat.org) and also have areas with a leopard and WILD DOGS!!!! got a fabulous view of the leopard and great photos too! Then we off’d to Etosha Park ..where we didnt see a whole lot and nowt really happened….apart I guess from almost driving over a lioness then scaring off the Wildebeest she was hunting, then driving off-road and getting bogged down…in front of the lioness (who wasnt exactly happy with us by now) we refused to help to dig us out (there was just me, John and Orla on the trip) as the guide had been stoopid enuff to get us in the mess, HE could get us out…2 hours or so later, a bakkie turned up and towed us out. we had a nice trip for the remainder, seeing Twyffelfontain, the Petrified forest, the Organ Pipes, Burnt mountain and a trip around a himba (or Ovahimba) village, where the women are topless!!!!EEEK!!!! this village was an orphanage set up by a Namibian fella we met, who also has the most beautiful lodge for visitors to stay at: it was part of a film set a few years ago and is built in a a marijuana influenced stylee into the huge boulder/rocks of a koppie (he also has an African wild Cat as a pet!)

Back to Cardboard Box and I manged to hire a Bakkie with long range fuel tanks, roof tent, camping gear and spare wheels for £30 per day (normally £60 per day just for a basic bakkie so I was well pleased with that!) and toddled off for a trip around namibia: 1st stop was Swakopmund (so german its unbelievable!) then back to the desert for a night under Bloedkoppie (blood mountain) then off to Walvis Bay & Dune 7, followed by a trip up the Skeleton Coast, thru the SC park, to Palmwag for the night, then to Warmquelle (crossing a raging river with a truck stuck in it enroute) and to Opuwo (watching completely wild giraffe, zebra, Wildebeeste, Sprinbok and Gemsbok on the way) stayed at a lovely lodge there (Opuwo country hotel) then as the roads were washed away I changed plans and drove to the Angolan border to see the Raucana Falls (crap) then to the Kunene river lodge for the night followed by Opupa falls (nice) and then back to Opuwo (getting extra fuel en-route from a traditionally dressed Herero woman in a township along the way) then down to Etosha, where the guy on the gate walked around the bakkie and asked what had happened to me car (it was in a bit of a state by then)

Again, not muxh to see in Etosha (too much rain just lately) then off to the worlds biggest meteorite and then to Tsumkwe to have a day with a San bushman -which was REALLY nice (I’d been looking foward to seeing the San people for months) you know, even in the 21st Century, they still hunt food with a bow and arrow (poison tipped) and eat what they find in the bush (literally). Next was down to the Erongo mountains to see some dinosaur footprints and more bushman paintings and engravings (stayed in the beautiful AiAiba painted rock lodge) then off to town to borrow a nice ladies husbands pc to burn some DVD’s. Next it was off to Philips Cave to see MORE bushman paintings and the Bulls Party rock formations . That night I stayed at Spitzkoppe mountain rest camp - RIGHT underneath the mountain which was VERY chillin and atmospheric. up early and a trip to Sesriem canyon (in the rain) ready for a trip to Sosussvlei and Deadvlei in the morn. 5am start and out of the camp as the gate opened at 5:30. an hours drive later and I was in Sosussvlei to watch the sun rise over the dunes (after climbing the wrong <read STEEP> side of a dune only to realise the error of my ways as I got to the top!) then after sitting there for an hour or so, I moved over to Deadvlei to see the calcified trees in the valley (FABULOUS PLACE) . straight after that I drove down to Ludicrous (I mean Luderitz) and had a Luderitz salad and cappucino at Ritzis cafe, then styaed for 2 nights at Shark Island campsite…with the craziest security man in the world (pished with a sawn off Russian shotgun) . didnt do much here, but need to rest after all teh driving (I did go to Kolmanskop ‘ghost town tho) Next was down to Rosh Pinah to get into the Fish River Canyon…cept the road had been washed away so I had to drive the 250km BACK along the road and then drive another 300km to go ALL the way around and into the park from the other side!..I wass so knackered when I got there that I stayed at the Canyon Mountain Camp (lodge) overnight (which was nice) then did the Canyon proper the next day …fabulous place and the 2nd biggest canyon in the world (to the grand Canyon, naturally). stayed at the Canyon Road House the next night and then off to the Quiver Tree Forest and giants Playground the next day, stayng at Gotchas that night. Next day was the end of my 20 day tour of Namibia…but I think I did pretty well: saw most of the sights and travelled for almost 6000km!

so, we crossed the border and stayed at Shoestrings hostel in Victoria Falls …nice place though pretty empty (we’re in the rainy season remember so not a top tourist time)

First things first: Money changing!….there are 2 options: No.1 the official way ~ change 1 US dollar for 30,000 Zim dollars. or no.2 blackmarket ~ change 1 US dollar for 2,000,000 (yes, MILLION) Zim dollars! …we opted for no.2 ;^) So with money changed, its time for some sightseeing:

The view of the Falls from the Zim side is fabulous! you get a ‘frontal’ view of the Falls and can walk along the length of them (tho from the other side of the gorge)..incredible sight right the way along..and we got to see a rainbow from Danger Point too…which was nice. Downside is you get absolutely sodden! Again though: a sight not to be missed if you ever get here (the choice is yours as to whether you wanna see the falls in full flow or fairly quiet )

We also had a walk to the train station to try and get the train down to Bulawayo - sadly the train was full so we must stay another night in the hostel and try again tomorrow (another couple of guys we met have been trying for 5 (I think) days to get on the train!!!)

so, next day and back to the station to catch the ticket office early….cept it didnt really matter cos it didnt open on time (Africa time, remember) Eventually we got to the front of the queue to be told by the fella behind the window that we had to go to the OTHER window!…we got to that window and booked our seats, but couldnt pay cos they wouldnt acceptUS dollars. We returned later with the Zim dollars and assured the woman that we had paid the official rate (oh yeah!) so she let us on.

We waited early for the train that evening (all trains in Zim are night trains for some reason) wondering what the compartment would be like (its a sleeper) expecting the worst, we got a reet shock when we got on board to find a 1920’s compartment with polished wood and green vinyl and even a fold down sink!!! LUSH!!!!! unfortunately there was no lights working so we had to get moved to another compartment which was simliar, but in laminate instead of polished wood…still nice tho….apart from the smell (we were next to the toilets……..which consisted of a fold-down loo seat above a hole in the carriage floor!…..nice!) our 14 hr trip also turned into 19 hours too, due to a long overnight stop in the middle of nowhere

As soon as we got off the train we headed for the ticket office to book the train back the next Monday…they wouldnt sell us a ticket till the next day tho :^(

We also got a bit of a shock trying to get into a hostel: the ‘Lying Planet’ advised that prices were $3-4US pppn….however this turned into $70US pppn!!!! eventually we stopped in the Berkely Place for $25 per room phew! we had a walk around the city, which is kinda nice with a fairly modern feel and very safe feel too - sadly the shops have VERY little products in them…th food shops are virtually empty, however we found a nice coffee shop that sold good cappucino and DOUGHNUTS!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Back at the ranch we changed some more money: $60US (in 2 notes: a $50 & $10) and got Z$120,000,000 in exchange…unfortunately the highest denomination note you can/could get was a $750,000 and I didnt get many of them, so I ended up with a whole block of notes to carry around!…it was the equivalent size of carrying 4 bags of sugar around!!!

..I mean where are you supposed to put it?…you cant get it in yer wallet and pockets aint gonna help!…and at the end of the day it was only $60US

Next morning we were at the train station for 7am to join the mahoosive queue for tickets…after 2 hours of not moving (mainly cos they decided in their infinite wisdom to let the Botswana queue move first and that was the whole length of the station!) so we gave up and got a taxi to the bus station for the bus to Masvingho (sp?) The taxi was probably the worst taxi in the world: no dashboard, doors that wouldnt open or close from inside and the worst sounding engine too, however the driver was canny and one he dropped us off he walked with us to find the right bus queue (another queue) an hour or so later and the bus arrived and we ended up right at the back!….amazingly we all got on (even though we were kinda pushed to the middle due to being ‘foreigners’ I think…..or maybe its cos Rags is blonde…who knows

The bus ride was another epic taking for ever to get there (the driver got out at one point and had his tea in a roadside cafe style thingee!) oh, and Jospeh that I was sitting next to spilled some of the diesel he was carrying home for his dads car and it covered the bottom of my bag and also my cap…which was nice :^( It was kinda funny too watching the locals go mad to buy tomatoes from the roadside sellers at the bus stops as we went along (they had underpriced the toms badly so everyone was trying to buy by leaning out of the windows with plastic bags, whilst the seller girls were running around like mad eejjits trying to cope with the demand!

Anyhoo, we got to Masvingho(sp? again) and jumped on a minibus to Great Zimbabwe (with Josephs help to organise) the ride was OK except it was getting late and we were concerned that we wouldnt get into the site as it was supposed to close at 7pm. Anyhoo, another story showing how incredible the Zim people can be:

as we got off the bus nr. Great Zim., I was trying to get off the bus with 2 bags and my hoodie and Rags fleecy jacket…as the bus drove off leaving us at the roadside I realised that I’d dropped her fleecy on the bus!…dammit! I apologies and we kinda tried to lok on the +ve side in that the guy who gets it could sell  it, keep it or give it to his girlfriend. So, 2 days later we were back at Masvhingo (sp for the last time) sititng on our bags in the bus station waiting for or bus when this guy appears and hand us the fleecy, saying how we had left it on the bus!!!!!!!  AMAZING!!!!!! I cant inmagine that happening ANYWHERE else on the planet, but for it to happen in Zim with the poverty and struggle those guys are having was just….AMAZING!!!

Anyhoo, back to Great Zimbabwe: we walked along the road and passed a craft market where the ladies shouted over the direction we needed to walk (we hadnt asked, I guess we just looked lost!) and from there we walked thru the main lodge to the campsite, where we found the guy that ran the place…he asked us how much we wanted to pay, so we agreed on $25US…for a lovely thatched lodge with 2 twin rooms and 2 more beds, plus TV!!!! and a shower AND a bathroom!!! Fabulous!

WE retired for the night and then got up early to get brekkie at the main lodge which was nice, but expensive. Then we headed down to the ruins of Great Zimbabwe - the place that gave the country its name on independence . The ruins were abandoned about 500yrs ago, leaving stone walls and towers on and around a hill very atmospheric place. This is also the place where the stone birds were found which are now the Zim emblem (the birds are actually in the museum on site too) We sat on the Kings balcony and watched over the masses below us (OK, there was 4 other tourists sitting down there, but I was KING FOR A DAY!!!!)

theres also a seperate ‘area’ which was built for the kings many wives: and for no.1 wife in particular - she got a stone tower to watch the king from (so the story goes)

we went back to the main lodge afterwards and paid a kings ransom to get ourt laundry done (that’ll teach me….pride before a fall and all that) then we had a quick beer and had a chat with a local chief who introduced himself as chief ‘Bonnyface’! nice guy who was very keen to make sure we were happy in his country

Another nice story from Zim: we we sitting in the bar that night having literally a couple of beers cos we had just about run out of dosh, anyhoo, the bar staff knew this as I had checked the prices with them and then paid partly in Zim dollars and partly in SA Rand that I had kicking about in me wallet…so a little later the barmaid comes over with a tray with some strips of fried beef and chillis for us to snack on!..they’d obviously taken pity on us!  how nice????

Anyhoo, enough of the stories from Zim, we got back to Bulawayo without too much grief and spent the night in Berkely again. Next morning we queued for 6 hours!! to get a ticket for the sleeper train, only to be told as we got to the till that there were no tickets left!!! I still think we were shat on there (the ‘fat controller’ had a word with the ‘teller’ just before we got there) so ANOTHER night at Berkely followed by a 5am start to get a taxi to the bus station out of town to get the bus up to Vic Falls. another (!) epic bus ride got us there without too much grief and then a taxi to the border and another to Fawlty Towers and we were back in Zambia

another fairly uneventful bus ride took us from Lusaka to Vic Falls (nowt happened in Lusaka…sadly) where we arrived with smoke billowing from the side of the bus and the driver struggling - from the last 30km- to engage any gears!

a short walk got us to our hostel for the next couple of nights: Fawlty Towers believe it or not!: Rags had already booked here as she was meeting her friends Penny and Olav (sp?) Firstly though we had a sunset trip on the Great Zambezi river in a little cruise boat, very nice little trip with as much alcohol as you could drink (though we didnt drink much, HONEST ma!) ..which we duly did and had a couple of beers…again

next morning me and Rags toddled off to the Gorge where I did a Zip line, Gorge swing and abseil…while cowardly Rags watched and took photos. The zip line was fairly tame, but the Gorge swing was pretty damn good!…basically you step off the side of the vertically walled gorge and drop for 50m in freefall, before the line you’re - hopefully- attached to, takes up the slack and swings you out over the gorge! (the rope is fixed in the centre of the gorge from some rope thingees) its pretty scarey - mebbee’s even more then bungee jumping!

The afternoon’s highlight was a trip to Livingston Island - THIS IS A TRIP NOT TO MISS IF YOU GO TO LIVINGSTON!!! basically you head off to the falls in a little boat with an outboard on the back…then just before you go OVER the falls, the driver turns left and parks the boat in some reeds on the edge of a little rocky island…Livingston Island to be exact - apparently this is where Dr. Livingston landed on his first view of the falls. You’re met by a chappie in white uniform carrying a platter of welcome drinks and who then guides you to a tented table area approx 30m from the top of the falls. the guide then takes you TO THE EDGE of the falls for photos etc.

Dramatic is not the word for it!!! blinkin incredible, I reckon!…sadly we couldnt get to the Devils Armchair which is a pool within the Falls, right up at the edge where - I’m told - the guides will hold your feet as you DANGLE over the edge !!!95+m up above the edge of the Falls!!! Anyhoo, it didnt matter that much as the whole thing is stunning. Then you’re taken back to the tented area where we drank Pimms (me) and wine(Rags) and ate some light canapes etc. how absolutely divine! then got the boat back to the shore

Next morning we had brekkie at ZigZag with Penny and Olav (mmmm cereal with FRESH milk) and then after saying goodbye to them, we did some shopping for groceries (and ear drops…still got the ear infection) then headed to the border with our unofficial taxi driver: Watson. As Rags went thru the border, I got called back to the taxi as Watson was getting grief from the police - I had to assure them that we hadnt paid him and that he had brought us to the border cos he was a friend (Gullible cops?) anyhoo, eventually I got across the border too - after scaring a baboon away from Rags.

so that was Zambia!…bring on Zimbabwe!!!

Rags, David and I left the Ilala at Nkhotakhota and had a reet laff getting ashore and to the hostel: we left the ferry by lifeboat (along with about another 200 others!) but that boat only gets so far and then you either wade the rest of the way to shore (not appealing at 10:30 at night) or you pay some guys with another boat who push that right into shore, once you clambered across form the lifeboat (MUCH more appealing) As we landed, some local women started to sing songs together, under the watchful eye of the poilce (well actually the watchful eye of the civvy driver of the police car, as the cops seemed to be otherwise engaged doing nothing in particular) we also got a ‘guide’ at this point to protect us “from the gunmen”….shades of Chamois here as the ‘guide’ was about 20yrs old and smaller than me. We also asked him later (the walk to the hostel took nearly an hour) about the gunmen “eh?” he answered ” theres no gunmen around here” ….typical

The hostel is just a rest house used by local truck drivers etc. me and David shared one twin room with Rags in another. pretty basic place, but at least it had an electric shower!…….sadly it didnt have any water though as I found out when I tried to shower in the morning. the guy that was kind of running the place brought a bowl of water to ’shower’ with ….hey ho!

The 3 of us jumped in a minibus for the trip to Salima (in Davids case) and Lilongwe in mine and Rags.

not alot to report from Lilongwe other than we met an american guy who whetted our appetite for a trip into Zimbabwe and who generously gave us some extracts from a Lonely Planet to go with Rags ‘bible’ of info

from Lilongwe we minibused to the border and then thru to Chapata in Zambia, where we stayed at a hostel and met a dutch couple travelling thru to Vic Falls. Rags and me went for a walk to the bus station  to get tickets for the next day: what a nice bunch of people in Zambia!..lots of peoplecame over to say hello, WITHOUT trying to sell us anything and the guys in the bus station were very friendly and helpful, even giving me their phone number so I could check the bus was gonna be OK in the morning!

MEGA heavy rain that afternoon (Zambia are gettting their whole rainy season in 2-3 weeks it seems) and a canny night sitting with the dutchies and then bed ready for another early morning for a long bus ride to Livingstone (Vic falls)